


Transcendence

by Whittakerjodie



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Descriptions of Injury, Episode AU: s03e08 Human Nature, F/F, Homophobia, Modern setting complete with extra gadgets so the companions can be there and it's not Weird, POV Alternating, Timelord reader, just enough to keep us on our toes, little bit of internalized homophobia, the 13/reader human nature au you didn't ask for but I wrote anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 57,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22429405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whittakerjodie/pseuds/Whittakerjodie
Summary: After being tracked by a particularly nasty group of aliens, the Doctor and the Reader must use the Chameleon Arc to hide on Earth. Unfortunately, your obliviousness to each others feelings survives the change and the Companions find themselves in an interesting dilemma because of it.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Reader, Thirteenth Doctor/You
Comments: 333
Kudos: 329





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please, PLEASE feel free to leave feedback, this is my first multi-chapter Doctor X Reader fic so i'm trying my best. Excuse me if I add a little bit of self service tee hee. 
> 
> Check out my tumblr, WhittakerJodie, for my 13th Doctor x Reader goodness. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Coal Hill, current workplace of two hidden timelords and three very disgruntled companions. And... what is this??? GAY????

(Yaz's POV)

Despite the light breeze in Shoreditch, the air was far too calm. For Yasmin Khan, danger and panic had become the new normal. It wasn’t that her current situation wasn’t dangerous, but it _was_ remarkably boring compared to the last few adventures-and _l_ _ong_. It’d been 5 months since the Doctor and Y/N had left her and the rest of the fam stranded in Shoreditch with nothing to do but keep them in check. 5 months of sitting around, living a life that was not hers so her friends could do the same for god knows how much longer. The fake identities were simple which was yet another problem. Even her normal life and job as a probation officer offered more excitement. 

The Doctor, now a former timelord, was sitting across the room from Yaz at her desk. She'd been hired as the Physics teacher at Coal Hill Secondary School after two of the teachers and their aides had become remarkably ill, requiring the rest of the year off. How convenient. The 'Jane Smith' nameplate, which cemented the disguise, glared into Yaz’s soul, daring her to question its existence. She twitched with the urge to throw it out the window. 

“Everything alright, Ms. Khan?” She nodded before she even finished talking. It was a question the Doctor- _Jane_ seemed to ask an awful lot lately. But Yaz couldn't help it. Everything seemed to be building up inside of her; not being able to see her family, having to wear some stupid gadget that helped disguise her just in case of recognition, her stupid _stupid_ job as a teachers aide- **_her_** teachers aide. It didn’t sit right with her at all and there was nothing she could do. She wasn't sure how long she could hold on before she ran away from it all.

“Yes, everything's alright,” She lied. “You?” 

“Oh, it's alright” Jane was grading a pile of papers, one that never seemed to shrink. It seemed as if, despite the chameleon arc changing the Doctor, certain parts of herself still remained. They were the only thing that helped Yaz stay sane. They helped maintain the hope that they would be out of this situation soon. She chased after them and encouraged them as much as she could without making Jane too suspicious. The last thing Yaz needed- despite her wanting it _so_ badly- was Jane thinking her dreams were real and blowing their cover before it was safe.

“I’m meeting Y/N for lunch today, would you care to join?” 

Oh, and that was the other problem. You and the Doctor didn’t remember each other, but your feelings for one another certainly hadn't disappeared when you went undercover. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem, but you and her hadn’t become a couple or anything. The two of you were much more specialized in eternal obliviousness. The ongoing debate between her and her fellow companions was whether or not they should allow them to get close like this. Graham stood strong with a firm ‘no, course not’ because it would be irresponsible and had the potential to make things awkward when they returned to normal. Ryan was an insistent “yes” because ‘It’s not like they’d make a move otherwise’ Yaz was constantly fluctuating between the two. 

Yaz found herself saying yes to the invitation.

'Meeting for lunch' now meant sitting together in a cramped, windowless teachers lounge and wolfing down whatever you'd brought in as fast as you could in order to get back to grading papers, but sometimes there was nice conversation. Jane seemed to be extra eager to eat today. She waved at all the students and teachers she passed in the hallway, earning a 50/50 share of returned smiles and weird looks. The bubbly mood was only briefly popped when a student asked about her recent test grade (one that Yaz doubted she'd receive any time soon) Jane made quick work of the conversation, going off on a tangent about how test scores had no indication of true intelligence and that she shouldn't worry about it at all. The student seemed less than pleased at the response, but Jane didn't seem to care- she had places to be. Yaz gave her an apologetic smile and a small promise that she would try and take the grading into her own hands. By the time she turned back around, Jane had already disappeared down the hall and into the lounge. 

When she walked in, Jane was twitching excitedly as you handed her a Tupperware container from the fridge. 

"Now, I wasn't sure if you were a fan of guacamole, but I added some just in case" You were telling her. Yaz scoffed. You'd _cooked_ for her? This was getting too ridiculous. 

* * *

(Your POV)

You, on the other hand, did not think it was ridiculous. You thought it was much too nerve-wracking considering you were only cooking for a friend. Not that you only wanted Jane to be a friend- but she was, unfortunately, for the time being. Oh, who were you kidding. You _really_ liked her, and that's why you were so nervous about cooking something for her. You and Jane instantly became friends after you both began working at Coal Hill five months ago. She'd been a massive light in your life ever since; You ate lunch together every day, including weekends. You sat together at every teachers meetings just to end up talking to each other the entire time. You even graded papers together (although she didn't seem to like that activity very much) She seemed to always be where you were. 

You watched her sit down with the burrito bowl you'd prepared for her, desperate to see what she thought of it. You took your own seat awkwardly. Ms. Khan, Jane's aide, was standing in the doorway. Usually, she ate lunch with your aide, Ryan, so you hadn't been expecting her at all. You felt bad, knowing it must seem rude to have brought something for Jane and not for her. "Sorry, Ms. Khan, I didn't know you'd be joining us, or I would've made something" 

"Oh, its alright, I've brought something of my own" She said. She fumbled in the fridge behind you and you turned to see Jane staring at you. You froze, raising an eyebrow. She was holding her fork in her hand, a decent chunk taken out of her burrito bowl. 

"W-what?" You stammered nervously. 

"Y/n, this is amazing. How come you've never mentioned you've cooked before?" You warmed at the praise, not noticing Yaz's eye roll behind you. 

"Oh, I don't know" You said, trying to play it off like your cooking ability was a simple, spontaneous thing and not a result of hours of research and failed attempts. "It's just a small hobby." 

Jane grinned wider before she went back to eating, leaving you to start your own meal. You tried to avoid her gaze as you ate, not wanting to make things more awkward. Ms. Khan chose the same method of attack, and it was silent for 10 or so minutes until the three of you had finished. 

"Very, good, Y/N. Very, _Very_ good." 

"Y/N?" Ms. Khan asked. Your cheeks warmed immensely and you tried to stifle it down. Other teachers had caught on to your feelings for the Physics teacher, and you were sure this was Ms. Khan doing the same. You knew exactly why she singled out Jane for using your first name; most teachers at Coal Hill always stuck to a last-name basis unless it was in an out-of-school setting. It was a small faux pas, but it was enough to make your brain short circuit. Jane didn't seem phased at all, nodding. 

"Yeah, thats her name." You felt like kicking her under the table, shrinking under Yaz's amused eye. "It's alright that I call you that, right Y/N? " 

You nodded immediately despite the embarrassment. Yaz packed up her lunch, shaking her head. "What?" You asked.

"Nothing. I'm going to go grade papers, since _someone_ won't. Enjoy the rest of your lunch" 

After she left, you and Jane were the only teachers remaining. You tapped your foot, not wanting to leave just yet. Sure, you saw her nearly every moment you weren't at work, but it still didn't feel like enough. It always felt like there was something missing with the two of you. It frustrated you to no end that you couldn't put your finger on the reason. She was beautiful, she was your best friend, and she was important enough to appear in your dreams every single night. So who or what took away the missing piece? 

Jane was doing something on her phone, pecking away at the screen. You bit back a laugh- she was holding it like an old woman, face scrunched up in what you assumed was confusion. She noticed your poorly hid amusement, her frustrated scronch turning into a sillier one. 

"Sorry, don't mean to be so silent. There's this one Physics teacher I've been talking with- it's part of his curriculum I've been using." She admitted. She set the phone on the table face down so she could turn her attention back to you. You couldn't help the small twinge of jealousy that made itself known at the word _him._ Jane's outfits and general attitude had always led you to believe she might be into women like you, but maybe this was a sign she wasn't? it had always been a possibility. You winced, knowing the thought was irrational. _It's just another teacher, y/n,_ you scolded yourself. 

"I thought you weren't sticking to any sort of curriculum?" You asked. "Or, at least, thats what I hear from the students" 

"The students? They talk about me?" You nodded.

"Hm. Interesting. Not sure I like that... or maybe I do? Not sure." She spent the next five minutes talking about the random things she'd heard the students talking about during her time at the school. You barely absorbed the stories about how the entire maths class had managed to cheat on their exam, or how there was a secret shrine built to Little Mix in the girls bathroom. Your eyes couldn't leave her hands as they flailed wildly. She was always doing things like that. It seemed sometimes as though her energy extended far beyond her body and she was trying to shake it out as much as she could. It was unbelievably adorable. 

The bell rang in the background shaking you out of your longing. You gathered the Tupperware containers, ignoring the way your hands brushed and set them aside to be picked up for later. 

"Do you think you could do it again?" 

"Hm?" 

"Cook for me... do you think you could do it again?" You clenched your hands, trying not to face her just yet. You'd meant it to be a one-time thing, something that hopefully brought you close enough to ask her on a date, but now you'd have to do it again? It wasn't an ultimately bad thing, though. Clearly, she liked the gesture enough to ask for more and if you had to spend more hours hopelessly trying to put a meal together in order to see her smile again...

* * *

(Yaz's POV)

Yaz stomped all the way to the courtyard, where she knew she'd find Ryan and Graham. Before they even turned around, Ryan muttered: 

"Are they at it again?" 

Yaz only groaned, sitting down beside Ryan. 

"What're they doing this time?" 

"She cooked for her" Yaz said. Graham looked up, eyes wide as if she'd just informed him that Jane and Y/N were happily married and running off to celebrate the honeymoon. 

"Oh my stars," He gasped. "It's getting serious then." 

Ryan looked between the two of them with a furrowed brow. "How is cooking making it serious? You act like they've kissed or something" 

"Well they might as well have!" Yaz and Graham shouted simultaneously. Yaz scoffed at Ryan's confused face, wishing she could easily unload years worth of relationship knowledge on him. Most men didn't understand things like this and Graham only did because he was... well, old. She tried to explain it further. 

"It's just... domestic, you know? Like, usually friends don't cook whole meals for each other." 

"Ohhhhhh" Ryan realized. He pulled out his phone, opening the notes app. Yaz glanced over his shoulder to watch him add "Y/N Cooking for the Doctor" to a list. They'd started the list far too long ago, only two months after they started traveling with the pair. It had over 100 entries now, all different scenarios in which Y/N and the Doctor had acted like girlfriends. Nearly 30 of the entries were from this adventure alone. 

"You realize what this means, right?" She asked. "It's getting way more serious. I know we're still on the fence about the whole thing, but I don't know how to stop them from looking at each other like that, much less stop them from doing things like this." 

"We shouldn't have to stop it though? I mean, how many times have we talked about this, they're still them." Graham shook his head. 

"But they're not them though, son. That Chameleon whats-it... it definitely changed them. They should come to terms with all this when they're actually in their right minds. " 

"Are you joking me? Almost a year we've been traveling with them, and nothing. I mean look," Ryan shoved his phone under Grahams nose, scrolling up higher on the list. "The Doctor literally said she wouldn't mind being married to Y/N, that time with the festival, remember? I mean, the hand holding is one thing but _married_?" 

His voice became more shrill as he continued, and Yaz rubbed at her temples. They needed to do something, anything. Part of her almost didn't mind joining Ryan in pushing them together if it meant the end to debates like these and the everlasting boredom after them. Maybe the two timelords finally getting together could conjure up some insane power-of-love moment and the threat that'd been chasing them all would go away. Wishful thinking. 

"Look, he's doing it again." Graham whispered. Yaz raised her head from where it'd been sitting in her hands, following Grahams gaze to the corner of the courtyard. Passed the clumps of students talking and studying, the Headmaster stood silently. His eyes were fixated on the three of them, although it was unclear which of them was the ultimate target. Graham waved awkwardly, but the Headmasters eyes did not moved. Yaz felt the air become much colder, sending shivers down her spine. 

"That man's proper weird." Ryan shoved his phone back into his pocket, as if it would help make him seem like he was busy at work. Yaz nodded in reply, her eyes not leaving his. Something was _definitely_ odd about him. And after months of hiding from aliens, scared to even venture out of the town, she didn't want to take any chances. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey look i've actually posted it. I hope yall liked the first chapter, I've got some more shenanigans written for this au and I'm excited to share them with you. Lemme know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have an eventful, but wonderful, morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feedback and support on chapter one! Love yall

_The sounds of a cloister bell ringing in your ear... the air filled with panic and other noises you couldn't find the sources to. Everything was in motion, tilting and swirling around you like a fun house mirror come to life. You could just barely feel the weight of your own body as it lurched forward to grab onto the nearest surface- the console. You gripped it tight as if your life depended on it as the mechanical noises and yelling crescendo-ed. Then, as if the space-time machine had hit a brick wall, it stopped, throwing you onto the ground. You weren't in pain, though; you were laughing. So were the other people with you. From beside you, a hand slipped into yours and a quiet, soft voice asked. "You alright?" You turned. **Jane.**_

* * *

One of the worst parts of becoming a teacher was succumbing to the early wake up. You groaned and fumbled for your phone as it blasted generic ringtone #4, cursing it and its inventor. You ended the alarm, wincing as the bright light burned into your eyes. Once they adjusted, you read past all the notifications you'd gotten.

They were all mostly basic, ranging from student inquiries to Animal Crossing reminding you that the furniture you'd ordered was ready. But there was one box at the top that woke you up much faster- texts from Jane. 

**_Woke up bright and early this morning, exploring a flower mrket! Kisses! - Jane Smith_ **

**_Might've bought too many flowers... do you need some for the classroom? Kisses! -Jane Smith_ **

**_Definitely bought too many flowers. Also Coffee! I'll be bringing some round. Kisses! - Jane Smith_ **

The overwhelming cuteness of her 'Kisses!' and "-Jane Smith" (like you didn't know who she was) was overshadowed by the panic that rose within you at the final text. _She's bringing coffee? here?_ The message was from 10 minutes ago. Her flat wasn't that far away, and the nearest coffee station was roughly 15 away. Oh dear. 

You flung yourself out of bed, accidentally landing on the floor. You cried out as your hand hit your bedside table roughly, clutching it to your chest as it throbbed in pain. You didn't have _time_ for this. She could be here any minute. You were still in your pajamas, your hair was a mess, and your flat was definitely not in good enough shape for the love of your life to visit. 

Love of your life? 

You paused, hands gripping a variety of shirts and dresses you were frantically sweeping through in search of a proper outfit. 'Love of your life'? that was new. You considered it for a moment. _Probably not_. _But maybe-? But it's just a crush so... But what if its... not?_

 _"_ Y/N?" 

You yelped as Jane's voice echoed down the hall from your room. Had she really just walked into your flat? You clutched a random shirt to your chest, running to slam your bedroom door shut. 

"Y/N?" it was softer this time, and right outside your door. You kept your hand on the knob, heart beat racing as it turned in your palm. You almost let it click open before you came to your senses and pressed your entire weight against the door. 

"Don't come in!" You screamed. You could hear her jump back from the door and clicked the lock shut. "Sorry it's just... I'm not decent" 

"Oh! Okay!" You groaned at her cheery tone. She was going to be the death of you. "I've got the coffee. I'm not sure if I've remembered you order correctly but I did my best! I'll be in the kitchen" 

You tried to get your breathing in order so you could focus on the task at hand: actually getting dressed. Having Jane just feet away while you did so proved very distracting, though, and you found yourself tossing on whatever seemed easiest and throwing your hair into a simple style. You tried to brush and smooth your hair down, but it seemingly couldn't be tamed. A small pep talk in the mirror was the final step and you reminded yourself that this wasn't exactly out of the ordinary and you'd had her over before. It didn't really help.

You opened the door to your bedroom cautiously, peeking around the corner as if trying to sneak past something dangerous. When nothing immediately presented itself, you snuck into the bathroom to ferociously brush your teeth. After that was done, you spent a minute glancing over yourself to make sure you looked good for her. You didn't have time to change anything, though. She was waiting. 

At last, you made your way into the kitchen. In the corner was a small table (which had only two seats for the only two people who sat there). On top of it sat two large coffees and a massive bundle of flowers. You gasped at the sight of them. They were all sorts of colors and shapes, shining in the sunlight from the window. She smiled at your reaction, pushing them towards you. 

"Not sure if you got my text, but it seem's that I've bought too many... figured you might find a place for them." 

You stammered, unsure of what to say. You'd read her texts, but a beautiful bouquet like the one currently in your arms was beyond unexpected. Your heart swelled at the kind gesture, whether it was an accident or not. They were more beautiful than any flower you'd ever seen. Turning them over and analyzing nearly every petal, you were sure you'd never seen a proper flower until this moment. 

"Do you like them?" Jane asked. You nodded straight away. 

"Jane, they're... amazing. Thank you" You set them back down on the table, looking her over. Her outfit was in no way similar to the one she'd worn in your dream. The light blue coat was missing, and the t-shirt was replaced by a black and white polka-dot button up shirt. No braces supported her trousers, which seemed to be plain black. There was also a bow-tie, stark white, around her collar. For some reason, it struck a familiar chord in you. 

"Coffee's getting cold." Jane reminded you. You blushed and sat down, trying not to over-analyze the smirk that she hid behind her own cup. You took a sip from yours, wincing slightly. It was most certainly _not_ your usual order and you failed to hide your reaction from Jane. Knowing the game was up, you coughed into your sleeve. She cringed, taking your cup and dumping it into the sink. 

"So sorry, Y/N. I could've sworn I remembered it. " 

You wiped your tongue off with a nearby napkin. 

"It's perfectly fine, Jane, it's not like you had to." 

She froze at the sink, as if offended. 

"'Course I have to" You raised a brow, feeling your cheeks heat up again. Damn them. 

"Why?" You tried. You yelled at yourself for asking. Part of you knew what her answer might be and you weren't sure if it made you nervous or extremely happy. 

"Just cos" She said curtly, dumping the rest of her own coffee out. "Sorry again" 

You were about to answer her, but you could hear your phone ring back in your room. You shot up to go get it, ending the awkward moment as fast as it had began. You disconnected it from the charger, lifting it to your ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, yeah, it's me? Ry- Mr. Sinclair. I've tried to print out those history tests for today, but it keeps printing wrong." 

"What d'you mean?" 

"Not really sure. One time it said that there was a paper jam, but then that secretary came and fixed it and I thought it was all done and good but now its stapling weird." 

You groaned, slapping your palm to your forehead. The printer always seemed to be giving Ryan trouble. You'd caught him shouting abuse at it, whispering threats to it, even _kicking i_ t* on a particularly rough day. "Tell you what, I'll be there soon, alright? Don't hit it or anything" 

You hung up the phone, grabbing your purse and the stack of papers you'd graded the night before from your dresser. Jane was still in the kitchen, staring absentmindedly at your decor. You'd give money to whoever could explain how she managed to look so stunning doing something as simple as zoning out. 

Apparently, she hadn't been that zoned out, though, because she muttered a quick. "I could drive you if you'd like" 

You bit the inside of your cheek. _Drive me to work? That's... well, that's a bit domestic isn't it?_ But **god** did you love the idea of it. And your car _had_ been making those odd noises as of late...

"Sure, that'd be great!" 

* * *

(Yaz's POV) 

Yaz pulled up to Coal Hill with roughly 30 minutes to spare. She didn't need to go in for 15, really, but there was nothing to do at home. She checked her phone absentmindedly, missing the ability to check her own twitter or Instagram. Losing the ability to visit her family hurt too much to think about. They weren't exactly far away.

They were in the same country and the same time period, but she had to fulfill the task of keeping an eye on the Doctor before she could get rid of her stupid fake identity and perception filter and see them again. She wasn't sure if the Doctor had planned far enough ahead to explain to them why she'd been gone for five months. Calls and texts weren't enough, and Sonya was getting worried. It wasn't fair. 

As she stepped out of her car, the chatter of the students seemed to increase. She looked over them, trying to figure out what their latest entertainment was. She followed the gaze of a gaping student towards a car pulling into the lot. Yaz froze, mouth dropping open in shock. It was the Doc- **Jane's** car, and you were in the passenger seat. She fumbled for her phone again, texting Ryan the news. He didn't respond and she fidgeted nervously, not sure of what to think about the sight. _Surely you two hadn't-?_

The students seemed to be very certain that you had. Everywhere Yaz turned she could see clumps of them whispering and giggling among themselves. Some were even taking pictures. Jane didn't seem to notice as she stepped out of the car. She crossed over to the passenger side and opened your door for you. 

"Oh, come _on_ " Yaz groaned. There was no way that wasn't romantic. _Ridiculous,_ she kept repeating in her head. _Completely ridiculous._

 _"_ Are they together?" A voice behind her asked. Yaz turned to see one of the year 8's quizzical look. She was one of Jane's students, the one that always sat in the back and only raised her hand if no one else would. Frankly, Yaz didn't know what to tell her, because she herself didn't know. She aimed for the most professional route. 

"Teacher's out-of-school lives aren't any of our business." 

"But you're her aide? Shouldn't you know?" Yaz frowned at the students perseverance. She repeated what she'd said and walked past the student, not wanting to become a magnet for other inquiries. Once she stepped in the door, however, she turned back to peek through the window. You and Jane walked up the steps together, Jane waving at all the students out front. You seemed to have picked up on the whispers, because your cheeks were bright red. Yaz felt a pang of sympathy. Clearly these kids weren't going to let this go anytime soon. According to Graham, he was still cleaning up years-old graffiti teasing other teachers. 

The two of you were stepping in the door and she backed against the wall, hoping you wouldn't notice her. You didn't, and she headed towards Jane's classroom in a sprint. She quickly unlocked the door, turning the lights on and opening the curtains. The room was on the nicer side, much larger and modern than her science class had been. According to the teachers, a large sum of money was granted to the school each year by an anonymous donor, and last year was the science wings turn.

Jane's desk sat at the front of the room, in front of 3 white-boards. 3 originally seemed a little excessive, but Jane seemed to fill them with ease before the class was halfway over. The lab tables were arranged in the middle of the room, and posters of all sorts covered every inch of the wall that wasn't blocked by cupboards. Yaz got her own desk, unlike most of the other aides, and she moved the large stack of ungraded papers onto it. 

The second she took a seat, Jane entered. 

"Hiya!" She said cheerfully. Yaz waved. Usually, Jane would come in with coffee. She was always drinking coffee. Yaz took another look at the stack of ungraded papers and decided that if there was literally anything else she could do before hand, she would. 

"No coffee?" She asked. Jane shook her head. "Would you like me to get you some?" 

"Oh, no, that's alright Ms. Khan. I had some with Y/N this morning. Did you move my papers?" 

Yaz hugged the pile to her chest; there was no way Jane would actually get them done. She was the students only hope. 

"Y/N? " she asked, in an effort to distract her. It worked immediately on her scatter-brain, and she perked up at the other not-timelords name. 

"Yep! Just a quick cuppa and a chat." She perked up again as if she'd heard something, and started rummaging through her desk. Yaz raised a brow, not having heard anything. She felt an assortment of words rise in her throat but she shoved them back down, not sure if she wanted to tackle the Doctor/Y/N debate at such an early hour. She decided to text Ryan an update anyway, sighing as she hid her phone away and began skimming through weeks-old tests. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to the groupchat who gave me inspo for the ryan printer scene <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader helps Ryan with his ongoing printer feud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mild/referenced homophobia. The next chapter focuses on it more than this one, though.

(Ryans POV) 

Ryan blinked at his phone, trying to process Yaz's most recent update in the Doctor/Y/N saga. His eyes drifted to you. You were toying with the printer, helping him for the millionth time. It wasn't his fault honestly; the printer seemed to have a very intense grudge against him every single time he needed to use it.

Yaz and you were usually on alternating shifts, fixing whatever problem he'd caused. You were crouched down on the floor, fumbling with the insides and trying to explain to him why the stapling had gone wrong. He wasn't listening, trying to think of the best way to spin the mornings events to your advantage. 

He could see where his granddad was coming from, but he didn't think it was all that bad. The whole mess that'd pushed you all into hiding would be over soon, and if you and 'Jane' managed to date it could end with the two of you finally admitting your feelings for one another. Then, all the awkward encounters and frustrating-to-watch flirting sessions could come to an end.

Besides- the Doctor had been very moody ever since their run-in with the Master. She deserved to be happy, and he knew that you and her sealing the deal would make everything much better. 

"Y/N?" He asked. "Can I ask you something?" 

He was going to ask it; the question that would set his plan into motion. The question that would answer all questions. 

You hummed in response, slamming the door to the printer shut and rising from the floor. His nerves spiked up as you looked him in the eyes, waiting for him to ask you his question. He almost backed out, but he called to mind previous adventures. If he could fly a half-exploded plane, he could set two of his best friends up together. 

"Are you and Jane together?" You tensed up and he winced, wondering if he should've gone for a less-bold question. Maybe Graham was right, maybe he'd overstepped and now it'd be _weird_ and... "Sorry, Sorry that was.. you know what? Forget I said anything" 

"No!" You shouted. He frowned, turning back around. _No as in 'No, I don't like her" or "No, I won't forget that you said anything, you big dumb-dumb" ?_

"Uh... sorry, I didn't mean to shout" You were stammering, not meeting his eye. Your hands shook at your sides briefly before meeting, toying with your fingers. That sealed the deal for him. The answer was apparent even before you opened your mouth to continue. "I... We aren't together, no" 

"But you like her though?" He pressed immediately. You nodded, and he jumped up, yelling. 

"I knew it!" He could hear you shushing him but he was too busy doing an odd celebratory dance. Only when your arm landed on his shoulder to stop him from moving did he cover his mouth to stifle his laughter. 

"Shhh! Shut up!" You whispered, hitting his chest. "Just _ShHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"_

It took him a moment to obey, but his smile did not disappear. Of course he knew you loved the Doctor, but hearing you say it was the biggest serving of validation he'd ever received in his life. He could really get things moving now. "I won't tell anyone, I swear... but you know practically the whole school knows, right?" 

You groaned, burying your face in your palms as you pressed against the wall, sliding downward until you were sitting on the floor. 

"Yes, of course I know. I don't know how to make them stop talking about it. " He joined you eagerly, not noticing the student who was listening in at the door. He stayed silent letting you continue. "Do you know she did this morning?" 

_Yes_ "No, what?" 

"She bought me flowers, Ryan. Flowers and coffee." _Oh?_ Yaz hadn't mentioned flowers. He made a mental note to make her well aware of them. He also noted that you chose to use his first name as opposed to his last. Everyone else at coal hill were very formal and it made him feel way too old. Now it felt just like the old days, traveling in the TARDIS. "God I don't know what to do" 

He thought for a moment. He'd never had a proper girlfriend before, only awkward middle-school crushes. He'd seen enough in movies and traveling with you and the Doctor, though, to have a somewhat established ideas of how relationships worked.

If you were human as of now, that only made him planning your dates easier. Instead of trying to improvise on whatever planet the Doctor sent you all too, he could suggest local restaurants or normal human things. 

"Ask her out?" He tried. You looked at him like he'd just suggested you tackle an army of daleks single-handed.

" ** _Ask her out!?!?!?!_**?" 

"Yeah. I mean, clearly you really like her and I think she'd say yes in a heartbeat."

Before he could elaborate, the printer kicked into high gear, spewing out packets of papers. He rose to make sure they were stapling properly. He collected them as they came out, letting you sit for a few more minutes. You seemed a lot lighter than you'd been a few minutes ago, staring off into space.

He felt warm too, happy that everything was coming together. This situation had been hard on him, Yaz, and Graham, and it was nice to have something from before to make things feel like normal. 

"I forgot I'm having that test today" You whispered. He nodded, holding out his hand to help you off of the floor. He helped you up and proudly showed off the finished tests. You smiled, shaking your head. "Come on, we can talk more after school gets out" 

The two of you were slower than the student who had been listening at the door, and they blended into the hallway crowd, avoiding detection. 

* * *

(Your POV) 

You made sure to walk in front of Ryan the entire way back to your classroom so he couldn't see your face. Your body was bubbling with all sorts of emotions: Embarrassment from admitting to having a crush on someone like you were a schoolgirl. The horror of realizing that the secret was out and there was no going back on it. The excitement of it possibly leading to more and finally, relief. It did feel nice to tell someone. Now there was one less person you had to walk on eggshells around. 

There were a few students outside of your classroom, waiting for you to unlock the door. You tried not to look at them, recognizing some of their faces from earlier in the morning when they'd seen you get out of Jane's car. Their eyes dug into your skin and you fumbled with the lock, giggling nervously. 

"Something the matter, miss?" One of them asked. You cursed the sting in her tone, knowing they were having a laugh at your expense. You didn't answer her and quickly made your way to your desk after practically throwing the door open.

The classroom was freezing cold, the students shivering as they made their way to their seats. You dashed to the thermostat across the room, toying with it while Ryan distributed the tests. Your classroom always seemed to have something going wrong with it. Apparently, other classes were deemed more worthy of grant money and you'd been stuck with second hand materials.

Some of them, like the creaky desks and the warped bookshelves, made you feel angry and claustrophobic. Other things like the old-fashioned chalkboards and posters served as a blast to the past and made you feel nostalgic in a way you couldn't explain. You supposed it was all very fitting for a history room, anyway. Jane seemed to really like the chalkboards. She was always writing on them in your dreams. 

When the bell rang, you gave the class their instructions for before, during, and after the test, and sat down. Next week, you were going to go over the crusades, and you still had to make the slideshows for each one. You typed away while the students worked, trusting Ryan to keep an eye on them. As time went on, though, you kept hearing an odd scratching noise.

You ceased typing to focus your hearing on it, seeking out it's source. When it sounded again your head perked up above the computer and you met Ryan's gaze. He seemed just as confused. He looked over the students and you did the same, unable to see anything out of the ordinary. You tried to go back to your work only to hear it again.

One of the students shushed into the general air, and it stopped. It was too late though, as Ryan had already located the source. You motioned to him to leave it be and you would deal with it after the hour was up. 

Your computer refreshed to show an email in your inbox. You clicked over to it, smiling when you saw Jane's name. It was her daily email asking you if you wanted to eat lunch with her. You didn't know why she asked anymore. You'd always said yes and always would, but it was still nice to know that she wanted to spend time with you that much.

You couldn't help but smile more remembering your interaction with Ryan. Admitting to the crush only seemed to amplify it tenfold as if it was now finally cemented in reality. You waved goodbye as the students left the room, depositing their completed tests on your desk as they went. You could see Ryan out of the corner of your eye. He was walking through the rows of desks, stopping at one in the middle. He lowered himself to look at its surface, eyes widening. You cocked your head. 

"Mr. Sinclair? What's wrong?" When his frown deepened you got up from your seat, joining him. Your eyes slipped down to the wooden desktop. It had been carved into, and your heart sunk at the word. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan and Graham are the best bros to ever bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for referenced homophobia.

(Your POV) 

"You should report it. I know who was sitting 'ere. Leo Jones." Ryan muttered. You nodded, unable to take your eyes off the word. It was horrible. It wasn't the worst thing you'd heard, but it was crude and vicious nonetheless. You were beyond aware of the students teases and whispers about you and Jane, but this was the first time it'd produced something derogatory like this. It hurt. Ryan repeated what he'd said and put a hand on your shoulder for support. You welcomed it, biting the inside of your cheek. 

"What about the desk?" You asked quietly. He suggested you throw it away, and you shook your head. "Can't do that, what if they give me a new one that doesn't match"

It probably seemed ridiculous, but the last thing you needed right now was something throwing you more off your rhythm. He walked to a cupboard and grabbed a pair of scissors, opening them so he could use them to scratch out the word. You watched him as he ferociously dug into the wood until the word morphed into a small crater. When he was done, you both stood, silently staring at it. You weren't sure what else to say, so you thanked him and turned away from it all to find the Headmaster. 

You tried to stop your chin from wavering as you pushed past the students crowding the hallway. It was just one of them who carved that evil word into the desk, but you didn't want any more to notice that it hit deep. If they did, they might join in. A couple of them seemed to notice your watery eyes and red face, but they didn't say anything. Good.

You didn't have the patience to talk to anyone other than the Headmaster. You arrived at the main office after what seemed like hours, asking the secretary if he was in. She picked up the phone and sent him a quick notification, not speaking. You leaned against the counter, tapping your foot nervously. You repeated the name of the offender in your head, scared you'd forget it. 

The door to his office opened and you were surprised to see Jane leaving. Your movements ceased and your eyes widened. Hers did the same, but softened in concern when she saw your tense stance. You didn't want her to worry and tried in vain to relax. _Please don't worry please don't ask._

 _"_ Everything alright, Y/N?" Dammit. Why did her voice have to be so soft? 

"I believe **Ms. L/N** is here for a meeting, is all" The Headmaster stood behind Jane, frowning at the use of your first name. "Better get along now, Ms. Smith, the year 11's aren't going to teach themselves." 

Jane nodded and gave two looks- one to him, full of annoyance, and one to you full of more concern- before heading out of the office. You could hear her walking slowly, as if she was trying to catch any conversation she could before she got too far away. The Headmaster hissed slightly and clutched his head. 

"You alright, sir?" the secretary asked. He glared at her and she straightened up, focusing back on her computer. He motioned inside his office. 

"Come along then, Ms. L/N, let's not waste my time" 

You stepped into his office, brow raised at its condition. It had all the furniture expected in a principals office, but papers were scattered everywhere and the curtains were drawn, making the whole room dark. He sat in his chair, rubbing at his temples. You looked around for another seat, but saw that there were none. You straightened up awkwardly, clearing your throat. 

"Sorry to bother you, sir... but there's been an incident with a student in my class." 

"An incident that you couldn't deal with on your own?" You shrunk a little at his irritated tone. Now that you thought about it....... But your mind hung on tight to the feeling of seeing the word. How angry you were. You shook your head. He didn't see it,as his head buried in his hands. You wanted to ask what was wrong, but failed to carry the plan out when his head shot up, his bloodshot eyes catching you off guard. "I said, Ms. L/Y, lets. _not. waste. time_." 

"No, I couldn't deal with it on my own" You said quickly. "Well, I suppose I could but... it's a little more serious I think. A students carved something into one of my desks." 

"That doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary. Do you know how many of those reports I get from the Maths wing?" He hissed again and turned away from you, opening his drawer and shifting through the contents nervously. 

"Yes, I've heard about it in the teachers lounge, but... well, it's a slur sir." You expected him to have a bigger reaction, honestly. He opened a bottle of pills and, turning further so you couldn't see them, downed a few without any liquids. An odd, violent shiver ran down his spine and your own shivered in response. 

"What's that?" He asked. You blinked. 

"A slur, sir?" He nodded. You scoffed, not sure if he was joking. He was a Headmaster for Christ's sake. How could he not know? _Maybe he meant which slur_....?

"I'd prefer not to say which one, sir, but it pertains to...sexual orientation." You winced. You weren't in the closet or anything, but it was a general social rule that you weren't supposed to mention things like that in places like work. 

"It was negative?" he asked. 

"Well of course, sir, it's a _slur_ " 

"So punishment should be...severe" He hummed quietly. You shifted, feeling a twinge of guilt. You wanted justice, but they were just a teenager. A stern talking to would do. The Headmaster leaning back in his chair. "Do you mind giving me this students name?" 

"Leo Jones." 

"Thank you, Miss Y/N. I'll have it dealt with" 

"Is that all sir?" 

He gave an exasperated groan, nodding. Rude. You really didn't want another problem, though, so you gave in. At the very least, you'd told someone. 

* * *

You stepped out of his office, nails digging into your palm. The entire conversation had set you in a mood. All you wanted to do was finish the day and go home, but it was another hour until lunch. You didn't feel like crying anymore, which was a plus. You just felt extremely unsettled. The Headmaster was _weird._

Stepping back into your classroom, you saw Ryan talking with one of the janitors at the desk that had been carved into. They turned at the sound of your shoes clacking on the floor, their conversation cut off. 

"Um... Hi" You waved, turning to the chalkboard. You were hoping they were discussing a method of hiding the carving entirely. Then, you could move past it easier. More preferably, you could pretend it never happened. 

"Right, then, i'll be heading out" The Janitor said behind you. You nodded, trying to busy yourself with writing irrelevant directions on the board. Work = not thinking. Good plan. You didn't hear the janitor leave, though, and you turned to give him a questioning look. He was just next to your desk, giving you a sad smile. 

"Don't let em get to you, love. Have a good rest of your day." You looked at his name tag. _Graham_. You dropped your chalk, gasping.

Images flashed before your eyes, all from your dreams. Ms. Khan, Ryan, and Jane all made frequent appearances but there had always been a fourth person you couldn't quite place. Now you could. It seemed like he had always been an obvious guest in the stories your mind played for you at night, and it was you'd forgotten an important friend. More images- they had to be images, they couldn't possibly be memories ( _but then why did they feel like they were?_ )- flooded your systems. Drinking tea together and listening to him dump life advice on everyone. Running from something together, always running in front of him because he wanted to keep an eye on everyone. Being scared to death every time he got separated from the group because he was you couldn't see your friend hurt...

"You alright?" 

Grahams concern was familiar; it made you feel safe. He picked up your chalk for you, and you apologized. He gave Ryan a look over your shoulder and he joined the two of you at the front of the room. Ryan put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you and you realized you were shaking. 

"Maybe you should go home, Y/N? We've just got tests the rest of the day and I can handle it, honest" Now that he'd made the suggestion, going home was all you wanted to do. 

"I was supposed to meet Jane for lunch" You whispered sadly. "And she drove me here."

Ryan and Graham shared another look. You _really_ wished they would cut that out. 

"I'm sure she won't mind, it's not like you don't meet every day." Ryan pointed out. Graham slapped his arm, shaking his head.

"I can call a minicab if you need, love. "

You considered what they both said. Eating with your favorite person seemed like the perfect remedy for the mornings events, but Ryan was right. As much as you wanted to busy yourself with Jane and work and drive all the negativity out of your mind with ease, it would just build up. You had to deal with it the adult way- crying your eyes out on the couch at home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's such a short chapter! I had a scene I had trouble writing and i imagined it'd be longer when I got round to it and then it just.. wasn't. So. Tee Hee. But i do have the next to chapters written already so :DDDDDD


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend is always a good remedy after a stressful event. Especially if she's hot, you know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for internalized homophobia and cuteness overload.

_**Are we still on for lunch? Kisses! - Jane Smith** _

_**Ms. Khan says you went home. Is everything okay? Kisses! - Jane Smith** _

_**Hoping everything's alright, I'll stop by as soon as I can! Kisses! - Jane Smith** _

You peered over the bathwater you were submerged in, reading her texts as they flashed across your screen. The hot water had done a mediocre job of truly relaxing you, so texts from Jane (especially ones promising more interaction) were a blessing. There was still about an hour of school left, meaning sans Jane's odd tendency to be late because of a wide assortment of distractions, she should be there in two. You let yourself sink back into the bathwater, sighing. 

Despite the calming environment, the mornings events kept creeping up on you. The same gross, ashamed feeling you had when you initially saw the carving was on repeat in your head, and you were forced to relive it over and over _. Fuck that kid,_ you thought. Granted, he was just an annoying teenager who probably just wanted notoriety, but still. _Fuck him. And fuck the headmaster too, while we're at it._ That felt like a nice addition. 

Why did any one care if you loved women or not? It wasn't their lives, their body, their feelings. No one had the right to define love; it extended beyond any known labels or ideals. If you wanted to pull your coworker into the biggest hug possible, if you wanted to hold her hand and kiss the top of it like a 1800's gentlemen- hell, if you wanted to jump her bones and take her six ways to Sunday- that was a _you_ problem. 

The rebellious part of you considered those ideas. She _was_ coming over tonight (and had come over, every night, for the past two weeks). It would be so easy to cook her a nice meal, candles and all. Maybe it'd be just as easy to reach across the table and softly caress her hand, officially asking her to be your girlfriend. Could you do that? were you allowed? Your phone bleeped again and you jumped, not realizing your eyes had fallen shut in the midst of your day dreaming. 

It was a voice memo. You clicked it, wincing as Jane's voice blared at top volume through the speakers of your phone, nearly breaking your eardrums. You turned it down and started from the beginning. 

"Hiya! Guess who? It's me, Jane. Jane Smith. Emily- can I call you Emily?" You heard a muffled voice in the background approve and you lightly chuckled to yourself. Emily Davies, one of the students? She was so... goofy. "Emily's just shown me how to do a voice message. Don't have an update, just wanted to have fun! OH! and Hi, also. Kisses!" 

Your cheeks were already hurting from grinning. God, she was adorable. You felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, obsessing over everything she did. You couldn't exactly help it, though, when she was.. her. Jane had always included "Kisses!" In her message sign-offs, but hearing her actually _say it_ to you was an entirely different ballpark. You looked around, as if trying to hide from the nonexistent people in your apartment. Feeling oddly guilty, you replayed the last few seconds of the message just to hear her repeat the word. 

After five minutes of listening to the same breathy **_kisses!_** You finally convinced yourself to get out of the tub. 

The next hour was spent tidying up anything and everything around your apartment. You didn't expect the evening to be a date, necessarily, but you wanted to make it seem like it could be. The flowers she'd gotten you still bloomed beautifully in the kitchen, so you put them in a nicer vase for display purposes. The kitchen was sprayed, wiped and organized in case anything cooking-related ended up occurring. In the living room, you placed an assortment of blankets and throw pillows on the couch, knowing that Jane loved to have them around when you sat together. Finally, in the midst of your gay panic, induced during the final 15 minutes before your arrival, you made your bedroom look as good as a stock image. Just in case, of course. 

You fidgeted with the curtains up until the moment she arrived, heart pounding. _Stop being so nervous,_ you reassured yourself, _this happens every day._

She bounced through the doorway, carrying a brown paper bag. You raised a brow as she set it down on the counter, throwing her car keys somewhere in the distance. 

"Hope you don't mind, I've brought some snacks." Your cheeks warmed. She'd done shopping for you? Ridiculous. She took the items out, and you laughed as the most indulgent junk food imaginable landed on your kitchen counter, no trace of real food to be seen. She waved a packet of your favorite snacks at you, grinning. You stepped from the window and accepted it, tearing into it. 

"How was school?" 

"Boring. Yaz's making me grade all those papers." 

"You do have to do them, you know, without being reminded." Jane rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

"Yeah, whatever. I'm more curious about your day. People kept telling me you looked really upset." Stuffing your favorite snack into your mouth couldn't offset your frown. Oh yeah, that Thing you were trying to forget. 

"Oh, yeah.." You muffled with your mouth full. Jane crumbled up the paper bag, tossing it behind her without a care. When she saw your face fall, she stepped in front of you, narrowed eyes searching yours. 

"Y/N? What's happened?" You felt your chin wobble and cursed yourself, begging not to cry. Not in front of her. But her hand was so silky and warm, finding its way upward until it was resting comfortably against your cheek, holding it. You were safe, she seemed to be telling you. Safe enough to cry. Her thumb brushed away the first tear that fell and her second hand quickly made its way to your other cheek as they began to flow freely. You leaned into her hold, gasping involuntarily. 

"Hey...you're okay" She cooed softly. You sobbed into her shoulder as she pulled you into a full embrace, knees wobbling. She let you drag the two of you down until you were sitting on the floor, whispering to you. You didn't have time to feel embarrassed as the feelings that had been bothering you all day increased tenfold and slammed into you from every side. The confidence you had from your daydream shattered, giving way to even more latent feelings.

The ache in your hands from cleaning now felt like your entire body being crushed from the inside. The printer acting up made you furious. The one embarrassing time you'd gotten locked out of your car at school felt like a knife cutting you open. The voices of people telling you it was wrong for her- a _woman_ to hold you like this, were screaming over and over. The hole in your soul, constantly telling you that something was _wrong_ with you, something was _missing,_ widened.

You weren't sure how long you were in her arms, letting all your feelings out in the form of tears. She'd stopped asking what was wrong a few minutes in to offer her help in the form of comforting touches. Every time you became somewhat lucid, your attention immediately grasped onto the feelings of her smoothing your hair, kissing your forehead, or hugging you tighter.

When you exhausted all your tears and became aware once again, she was talking about her day in a hushed whisper, rambling. Her hand was tangled in your hair, holding you against her chest. You closed your eyes and listened to the combination of her heartbeats and the vibrations of her voice. You tried to get away with wrapping your arms around her waist, but she realized you were calmed down. 

"Hey, you" She whispered. "How are we feeling?" 

"B-better, thanks. Sorry about that" You answered, turning your head away in shame. She cupped your chin, bringing your eyes back to hers. 

"Don't be sorry. Ever" 

You nodded, throat dry. To her, you should look like a living, breathing mess. Your cheeks felt sticky from the dried tears, and you knew your mascara was streaked across your face. Your hair felt matted and tangled from where she'd played with it, and your body was awkwardly clinging to hers. You couldn't tell that she felt any sort of disgust from her eyes though. They were filled with something else. Something that made you feel at home. Complete. She kissed your forehead again, her lips lingering long enough to wake you up much more quickly. 

"Do you feel like talking about it now?" 

You nodded, fixing the bow-tie that'd gotten crooked in your descent. 

Jane took her seat at the table, and you took yours. When you sat down, she reached for your hand. You took a shaky breath as she ran her thumb lightly over your knuckles. She was smiling patiently, giving you time to put the words together. 

"There was an incident at school. With a student- Leo Jones, the one who got lice a month ago?" Jane's face shriveled in disgust, and you felt some of the pressure life from your shoulders. "He carved something into my desk. Something really mean." 

"Mean?" Her face was still disgusted, but her lips curled into frown- no a _snarl_ almost. "Like what?" 

"It was just a word but... a bad one. Like, more than a swear bad." 

"Why? Why would some body every do that to you?" Her hand was gripping yours tightly, trembling. She was pissed. You'd never seen her mad before. 

"Well, cause I like women I suppose" You bit your lip, gasping. Ugh, you'd said it in front of her. The thing that was wrong but not wrong and also so right with her. Fuck. Would this make things weird now? Was she gonna think all of your hang outs were you being creepy? 

"That's rubbish" she said. "Lots of people like women, I like women. What's wrong with that?" 

OH?!?!?!?!?!??!?! _I like women, she said, i like women i like women i like women i like women_

"Y/n, there's nothing wrong with that" Both her hands were over yours now, eyes piercing into yours. There was a darkness in them that made your breath hitch. "You know that right?" 

"Sort of?" You whispered. It was always an in-between. You knew you loved women and loving them felt right, but there would always be the opposite idea pressing down on you. 

"No sort of. None of that. It'll never be wrong, do you get that?" You shook a little, surprised. It was a _command._ Your mouth fell open and you nodded. Anything she commanded, anything she told you. 

"Brilliant. D'you want to sit on the couch?" She said, grinning. You scoffed at the immediate switch in tone, heart still pounding from the intensity of her previous one. She used her grip on your hands to bring you to your feet. After you were standing she let go to walk ahead of you, getting the blankets and pillows you set out prepared. 

You watched her fluff the pillows and unfold the blankets, nearly bursting into tears again. What did you ever do to deserve her? 

She took a seat, covering herself in the blanket and laying horizontally against the couch. As she patted the cushion next to her, you blushed. If you were to join her, as she was suggesting, you'd have to be pressed right up against her. You didn't mind, but it was remarkably thrilling. The way you saw it, you might never get another chance like this again. You lowered yourself onto the couch, gradually easing yourself into the same position as her, with your back to her. It was a protective measure, perhaps. If you turned and saw her when you were like this you were sure your heart would stop. 

Her arm was raised over you, pressing random buttons on the TV remote. The tv flickered through channels and volume levels until she gave up and left it on a random movie. She huffed and dropped the remote onto the floor, her arm falling to rest on your waist. You eye shot open wide, like you'd been shot. _Oh? Oh. That was nice._

You tried to focus on the movie in front of you, but your consciousness held no weight against the woman snuggling against you. Everything was warm and soft and after your meltdown only small remnants of your feelings remained. You let yourself drift off. 

* * *

_Everything hurt. Well, not everything; the pain was stemming from a single stab wound in your leg specifically, but the amount of pain tricked your mind into believing your entire body was injured. You weakly pressed your hand against the hole, unable to stop the blood flow. On this particular adventure, the mutant monsters you were trying to negotiate with had evolved to include sets of claws they found very useful. You tried not to think about what other marks they'd made on you. Across the room sat one of the aliens you'd been running with. They were dead._

_You let out a sob and turned your head away. Their eyes were still open, their gun still in their hands. They'd been trying to **protect** you- and you'd been trying to protect them. You'd **failed.** The promise you made to them echoed in your head; the one you'd made when you first got separated from the Doctor and the fam, trying to calm them down as the monsters chased you down. _

_"It'll be alright, okay? We'll keep an eye out for one another, do you think you can do that for me?" They'd agreed, and you were happy to have met a new friend. Now here you were, with them dead in front of you and the throbbing pain clawing at your consciousness. You tried to focus on summoning regeneration energy to heal yourself, but it was getting much too hard to gather your thoughts together._

_Just when you could see small tendrils of gold wrap around your fingers, the door burst open. The Doctor was wielding her sonic like a sword, scanning the room for threats for a millisecond before dropping to the floor in front of you. You shook your head as she gently grabbed your wrist, whimpering. She swiped her thumb under your eyes, frowning. You hadn't realized you'd been crying. **Weak.**_

_"Can you move your hand? I need to see if I'm going to help." You once again shook your head, panic overtaking rational thought. If you moved your hand, it might bleed more and... you fought the urge to gag. There was so much blood already._

_She sighed sympathetically and glanced over to your friend, squeezing your wrist to reassure you. She reached over and closed their eyes, whispering to herself._

_"I promised to protect them" you cried softly. Another feeling joined the pain- disappointment and fear. Disappointment in yourself, and fear of disappointing her. You **saved** people. You didn't get them killed or break your promises. _

_The Doctor, to your surprise, wrapped you into a hug. She rarely did that; she was still getting used to her new body, even a year on, and her awkwardness was still a big hindrance. She was warm, making you hyper-aware of how cold you'd become from the blood loss._

_"It's okay, Y/N" She whispered. You could see, through your tears, her own regeneration energy spreading over your leg. It lulled you into an even sleepier state, the pain disappearing into the background. "We can't save everyone."_

_Behind her there was a loud clang, and a snarl that made your blood curl. The mutants were coming down the hallway, their footsteps like thunder as they bounded towards the two of you. Their claws unsheathed from every finger, shining in the light. Panic rising in you once again, you held the timelord in front of you tighter. Instead of her name, though, you found yourself screaming_

_"Jane!"_

* * *

You shot up, the name leaving your mouth in a broken cry. You weren't in a lab or clutching a wound- you were in your flat, no mutants in sight. So why did the panic feel so _real_? You clutched at your chest, as if your hand could dip into yourself and stop your heat from racing so bad. 

"Everything alright?" Jane was next to you. Jane was okay. 

You turned, sitting normally on the couch. Everything felt too wrong and too small all at once. Did you always own this couch? Whose clothes were you wearing? (you'd bought them at a shop, they were yours. Or maybe they'd been a gift from your parents. _Your parents? who were your parents????)_

"Y/n?" she was sitting beside you now, eyes scanning the room for a potential solution to what was happening. Part of you, beneath the panic and the confusion, was reassuring her. You knew it was just a dream; the panic wasn't justified. So why was it winning you over so easily? 

"Breathe," She was telling you. You knew you were, because the frantic rising an falling of your chest, but you needed to slow down. It took you several minutes to do so. By the time you were breathing at a normal rate, Jane was pushing a warm cup of tea into your hand. 

"Thanks" You said softly. You took a sip and ignored the odd taste, focusing on it's warmth instead. "Sorry about that... really bad dream." 

"I'm not really good with that sort of thing- bad dreams meself, you know? But if you want to talk about it... it seems like I was there?" 

You gripped the cup tighter. She was always there. You nodded, taking another sip of your tea to excuse your silence. 

"Just a weird nightmare. I have them a lot. I was hurt, and you were helping me. There were these monster-things and they were jumping towards us, like a horror movie or something." You expected her to chuckle and remind you that it was only a nightmare, but instead she frowned. 

"That's weird." Her face scrunched up in thought. "I had the same dream." 

You stared at her, eyes widening. She had what? 

"Well, not the exact same. But you were there, and I was helping you. There was definitely a scary monster at the end" 

You set your tea down, curiosity peaking. "Really?" 

She seemed to be getting just as excited as you, nodding frantically. "Oh yes! That's happened before, you showing up in my dreams. Nearly every night" 

Heat (that was definitely not from the tea) spread across your face. She dreamed about you, the way you dreamed about her? You tried to stifle your awkwardness with a chuckle and a light joke.   
  


"Maybe we should compare notes" 

She jumped up, running to her jacket without any immediate response. She sprinted back with a leather-bound journal in her hand, eagerly throwing it into your lap. 

"You take notes, too?! I've been doing it for ages, every since the dreams started!" You shifted the journal in your hands, unsure of what to make of it. A voice in your head told you that despite her non-verbal invitation, you shouldn't read it. You weren't allowed too. The universe seemed to agree, because the second your fingers ghosted over the string tying it shut, your phone rang. 

You saw Ryan's name flash across the screen. Was it the printer, AGAIN? When you saw the time, though, you stopped blaming the device. You were late- _very_ late. Did you forget to set your alarm? You jumped up from the couch with a yell. 

"What? What's wrong?" 

"We're late" You cried. Her eyes widened and she glanced at the clock on your wall, wincing. You were in your bedroom, trying to put an outfit together in as little time as possible. You gathered the clothes into your arms, getting ready to throw them on when you noticed Jane standing in your doorway. She was shifting on the balls of her feet, biting her lip. 

"Jane?" 

"I.. um, " She gave a loud laugh, sounding nervous. "I'm not sure I can make it back to my flat in time. Could I borrow something?" 

You glanced at your closet, and then back to her. You weren't exactly the same size. But how could you deny her, when she was giving you those puppy eyes. You could find something. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY ENNJDKJDNKQWNKQW shoutout to the thirsting for 13 groupchat, I couldn't starve yall. Also this really helped me conquer a weird bit of internalized homophobia I had so awwww good job for me and bein gay and stuff. Because this is a double update, it'll take me a few days cause i'll be building up chapters but I think the sheer fluff from this one will tide you over.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wowie showin up to school in your not-gfs clothes can be interestin huh, Jane?

(Ryans POV) 

Ryan stared through the window of your classroom, eyes searching for your car. You weren't usually late, so what was the hold up today? He'd called to make sure you weren't staying home, only to be sent to voicemail. He texted Yaz and Graham asking if they'd seen you or the Doctor, but neither of them had. He even thought to ask the Headmaster if you'd called in, but he wanted to hold that solution off as a last resort; the man was proper creepy. 

All solutions used, he was stuck with only himself. His eyes moved over the length of the classroom he had been occupying for nearly sixth months. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't the best. The vibe was much too vintage for a modern guy like him. He would get through it though, if it meant helping out his friends. At least they hadn't been stuck in the past, or with people they didn't know. 

He liked teaching with you. Even though the kids could be irritating some times, there were fun days that made it all worth it. You'd always been a great friend to him, too. Help with the printer was only the tip of the iceberg. He wanted to help you and the Doctor anyway he could, in all departments. But that required your presence. 

It seemed like the clock had gotten much louder and, unable to stand the sound of it any longer, Ryan made his way to the entrance of the school so he could get a better look at the parking lot. Whispers picked up among the crowd outside, but he couldn't initially determine their purpose; you weren't with Jane or doing anything otherwise noteworthy. 

Then, as your car found it's parking space, Jane's car came into his line of sight. The whispers gained volume, and he could hear giggling in between them. 

"Is that Ms. Y/L/N's shirt?" One girl snorted. He hadn't recognized it on his own, but now that the student pointed it out, it _did_ seem familiar. His eyes widened as he put the pieces together. You'd done it; the two of you had _actually_ slept together. His hand flew to his mouth, unable to hide or bury his shock. Oh god, how was he gonna tell Yaz? His granddad? 

A bit of pride surged up within him and he flashed two thumbs up in your direction. You seemed really confused, but he kept them up. You grabbed all of your belongings out of the car and walked over to him, eyebrow still raised. 

"Having a good morning?" You asked him. You were headed towards your classroom and he fell into step behind you, trying not to laugh along with the students who were gossiping on the sidelines. He put a hand around your shoulders, grinning. 

"yeah, but I bet you've had a better one, eh?" Your confusion only seemed to double, frowning at the arm. He winced- too much? Probably seemed really weird, since you didn't remember all your Team Tardis Time together. He removed it, clearing his throat. "I mean to say... I hope you've also had a good one" 

* * *

(Your POV) 

You let Ryan enter the room first, so he wouldn't see how embarrassed you were. Was he implying what you thought he was? Great. Everyone already practically knew about your crush on Jane, and now they all thought you were sleeping with her? 

"Mr. Sinclair," You started. He sat on the top of his desk, grabbing one of the many fidget toys he kept there. You shut the door. "You don't think we- me and Jane, I mean- you don't think we _slept togethe_ r, do you?" 

His smile fell, and his fingers ceased their fidgeting. "You didn't?" 

You shook your head, biting your lip. "No. But I think everyone thinks we did, including you." 

"Oh." he said dejectedly. "I just assumed, cos-" 

"She's wearing my shirt" You squeaked. He laughed at your excited tone and you sat down on your desk, setting your face in your palms. "God, Ryan, she's _wearing my shirt_." 

He was laughing more now, typing away at his phone. 

"How does that just happen?" He roared. You couldn't help but laugh yourself. It was quite ridiculous how things like this kept happening to you. 

"She spent the night-" 

"YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T SLEEP TOGETHER" 

"WE DIDN'T" You yelled back. "Well, not 'in that way'" 

His face shriveled in confusion and you leaned forward whispering: 

"We sort of, well.. cuddled" Your tone was laced with a giddy excitement, and your words were followed by an uneasy laugh. The barely established facade of a professional, well put-together adult fell apart at your feet. The corners of Ryan's lips pulled upward again and you matched him. 

"Y/N. That. Is. Adorable. My god." You nodded, skin tingling as your mouth took advantage of the opportunity to overshare. Soon, you had filled him in on every single little second of the evening. Even as students started pounding their fists against the classroom door, you were breathlessly detailing the smell of her hair, the feeling of her relaxing against you, how warm she'd been. Finally they'd resorted to shouting, and you had to give in and resume functioning like a regular human being. 

The prospect of seeing Leo had you a little bothered, but the universe seemed to take pity on you; as the students filed into their seats, his absence was immediately noticeable. It was strange. Detentions were only given during lunch periods and there was no way for him to be taken out of the class this late in the semester. _Maybe he didn't want to face you either...?_

When everyone had been seated, you began writing on the board. "Right, then, everyone ready to learn about the crusades?" 

"Depends, are you ready miss?" Your hand paused at The Cru- and you looked back at the students. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" 

"It just seemed like you were a little late to school today, that's all" the _audacity_. You nearly snapped the chalk in half, eyes narrowed. The student was rewarded with a small wave of snickering, and you shrunk. _Don't give in,_ you told yourself _don't respond._

 _"_ I'm here, aren't I, miss Grainger?" _Ah, shit, thats a response._ This time, the students responded with shocked "Oooooooooo's" Izzie Grainger sank back into her seat with a huff, a dash of red on her cheeks as her peers turned against her. To avoid further awkwardness, you reminded everyone to focus. You gave Ryan a look that you hoped conveyed _'hey, buddie, keep an eye on things for me'_

The class went by very slowly; the students seemed to be even more encouraged after the small bit of attention you'd given to Izzie, and they were restless through every minute. If they weren't passing notes, they were whispering. If they weren't whispering, they were fidgeting with there utensils, driving endless and disorganized rhythms into your head over and over. It wound you up until you felt like you might snap in two with the faintest touch. 

Ryan could sense your nervousness and took over when he could, passing out notes and taking care of all the misbehavior he could. It seemed to die down closer to the lunch period, which you were thankful of. You desperately needed to see Jane and the last thing you wanted was to be shaky and embarrass yourself. _Just survive until lunch._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones short because I felt so bad about leaving yall for so long.. i've got the next.... 13 chapters outlined??? haha so i'm gonna be a lil busy in the writing department.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly did the Doctor ask her companions to do during her absence? What's up with the secretary? and most importantly.... is Yaz going to help Ryan get the two of you together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT YALL i managed to write exposition! and not just gays!!!!! I D I D I T!!! WHAT A MADWOMAN

(Yaz's POV)

Yasmin Khan was having a _s_ hit day. A real, intense, no-good, _shit_ day. First, she got zero sleep on account of sifting through pages and pages of police reports trying to find anything suspicious. Then, the second she stepped foot in Coal Hill she was bombarded with students asking her about Jane, Y/N, and their damn tests and assignments that were never graded no matter how many _god damn_ times she told the Doctor to do them- She clutched the bathroom sink, trying to anchor herself to the real world. 

She counted her breaths, trying to calm herself down. _Alright, Khan. Whats going on._ She was in the girls bathroom; she'd stomped there after being cornered by a group of girls asking if they could retake the last quiz (which they'd failed, horribly so) Her heart was racing fast- to fast, fast enough to run and never look back. The soft porcelain in her hands was cold, contrasting the heat flaring up inside of her. There were 2 stalls in the bathroom, both thankfully empty. The window was cracked slightly and there was a soft breeze wafting through. Scent-wise, everything was boring. But boring was nice, for once. Boring helped hold her down. 

God, what was happening to her? She'd gotten over all of this, for the most part. One last thing to note: the ever-present weight in her pocket. She was mostly calmed down, enough to realize that she needed to get to Jane's class soon. She felt a small tickle on her hand and her head shot towards the source of the sensation. It was a tiny wasp, moving across her skin. Its stinger danced across her skin, taunting her _. That's the last thing I need_. She twisted her hand so that it moved onto the sink instead, leaving it alone. When she turned to make her way out of the bathroom, she could hear more buzzing by the window. She latched it shut and walked down to Jane's classroom. 

The classes went by in a blur, considering she was the one doing most of the work. The Doctor hadn't changed much. She was flashy as always. Running around the room, scribbling nonsense on boards that she was 100% certain had nothing to do with her set curriculum. It was cute, in a way, if every second of it didn't remind her that she was so close yet so far from being her real self- the one that could get her out of this mess and back home properly. 

She desperately needed someone who was real. By the time lunch rolled around she was tapping her foot against the floor in an attempt to keep herself from snapping at the next student who interrupted the Doctors teaching to joke about her and Y/N. It was fun at first, but the more it built up on bad days the more she wanted to rip open both fob watches and demand her freedom. 

Her legs moved in a near sprint towards her, Ryan, and Grahams usual meeting place, grumbling a quick 'no' when Jane asked if she wanted to join them for lunch. She was surprised to see that Ryan was the only one of the pair sitting at the bench, zoning out. 

"No Graham?" Yaz asked. 

"No Graham." Ryan answered. "Dealing with loads of graffiti in the bathroom. You know, all that stuff with the Doctor." _Fucking christ, she couldn't catch a break, could she?_

She gave a loud exaggerated sigh, plopping down on the bench. Ryan gave her a little bit of side-eye, continuing. 

"Did you see what happened this morning? With the shirts?" No, but she'd heard about it from just about every single person in existence. She could feel her irritation reaching its peak, her feet dangling _just_ over the edge. "I've been thinking. If its that serious, there's no way we can't get them on a date or something" 

"I really don't care right now, Ryan" Her voice came out short and tight, like she was scolding him. Maybe she was. 

"Have you found anything yet? Anything at all? or are you too busy trying to get your friends laid?" 

"I have been looking, you know. There was a couple of murders in a town nearby but I doubt it's related. You okay?" 

"Seems like I'm the only one finding _anything_."

"Yaz, come on. Are you okay?" His hand was on his shoulder, comforting and warm. Fuck him for being such a perfect friend. Well, not exactly. She knew she was just saying things like that on account of her mardy mood, but she couldn't stop.

"No, Ryan I'm not." She admitted. "We've been here so long, and for what? I mean, is this all we're going to do, sit around and live this lie while we wait for something totally obvious to happen?" 

"That might be all we can do. It's not all bad, though, right? At least we're in our own time, and we've got each other." 

"Yeah, but we _only_ have each other, Ryan. Besides, Grahams all you need. Have you ever thought about the fact that I have an entire family back home, wondering where I am? That they might be worried about me?" Yaz didn't necessarily have the luxury of going missing without her family coming to justified conclusions, something that nagged on her the longer they remained in Shoreditch. 

"Graham isn't all I have, I've got mates" 

"Mates aren't family!" She shouted. She ignored the glances being sent their way. 

"They can be. We are." Ryan's reply was quiet, but just as effective as if he'd shouted it in her face. She froze, avoiding his gaze. Tendrils of guilt spread across her heart, slowing it's beat. "Yaz, you're right. We've been here for a lifetime. But there's nothing any of us can do about it besides follow the Doctors instructions and do our best. It's not all on you. It shouldn't be." 

She felt the weight of the tracker in her pocket double. She'd demanded to hang on to it when they first landed, insisting that Ryan and Graham would lose it. With it, however, came the responsibility of always being on high alert in case she found the alien to put it on. She hadn't properly relaxed in the last six months, and she wasn't sure she could now if she tried. Funny how desperation to save yourself can encourage self destruction. 

Ryan moved to hug her, but she shrugged him off. The last thing she needed was the students thinking that they were together and becoming more annoying. He looked like sad puppy, arms slowly falling to his sides. "Later," She promised. "Not now. Things to do" 

She walked away, leaving her lunch untouched on the bench. 

Thankfully, no one stopped her as she made her way back inside. The hallways were bustling full of students, all too wrapped up in their own drama to ask about Jane's. Movements were restricted since there were so many, but it wasn't enough to stop her from noticing the secretary. She was _running._

Yaz pushed past the students more forcefully, nearly grabbing the tracker from her pocket. She was running in the direction of the office. 

"Ma'am?" Yaz yelled. The woman didn't stop but slowed down enough to where Yaz could sprint for a few paces and join her. She put an arm out to stop her, accidentally letting some of her police attitude out. She lowered the arm just as quick, hoping the secretary didn't bring it up. "Ma'am, are you okay?" 

As her eyes scanned the woman's face, she felt her stomach turn. She was pale; much too pale to be even an ounce of healthy. A significant amount of sweat was gathered on her brow, some of it trickling down the side of her face. Her eyes were wide, moving from side to side. 

"Fine," She whimpered. "Fine, fine fine, fine" 

Yaz stepped back, but didn't back down. "You don't seem very fine at all." 

_"It's none of your business!_ " The woman shrieked. Yaz took another giant step back, mouth falling open in shock. The secretary pushed past her with force that had to be intentional, resuming her panicked run. Students sent odd looks Yaz's way and she returned them. She had bigger things to worry about. 

"Alright," She whispered to herself. "That's something." 

* * *

Seeing the TARDIS half-lifeless was one of the hardest parts of hiding. The Doctor never disclosed to them if it was psychic. She had only briefly alluded to the fact that it was alive. Going inside of it, though, Yaz could almost feel what it felt. Despair. 

Sometimes, she would find herself sitting at the console, replaying the recording that the two time lords left for them. The stones surrounding the center would turn a dark blue as the voices echoed throughout the time and space machine, panicked and rambling all sorts of rules and the details of a very rushed plan. 

"Once you've found out who they're hiding as, you'll have to put the tracker on them immediately. They're smart, very smart. They'll catch on and go off running again, and we can't have that." 

"Remember, you can't tell us anything about who we really are. Not until it's time." You had held up two fob watches, adorned with intricate circular drawings across the silver casings. "Oh, I guess you can't see those, this is a voice recording. We'll have to take a picture. Either way, do not open these until absolutely necessary." 

"Oh, and don't let us eat pears" Yaz chuckled as she heard you and the Doctor bickering over that rule in the background. 

"is that really necessary?" You had asked. 

"Oh, absolutely." 

Even though Yaz knew she'd feel just as sad and empty as before when the recording ended, it was nice to close her eyes and listen. That way, she could imagine that she was still there, holding the weird helmet in her hands that would transform them. She could still feel like the plan was going to be simple and quick, like a fun undercover operation. The TARDIS, in her mind and in the recording, was still beeping and moving like normal, as opposed to it's dormant silence. It was like going back into the past, but only partly. 

The rest of the recording was the same in nature. The Doctor was running around the console, hitting random buttons and levers while you tried to explain everything. The Doctor would keep interrupting you with reminders and random facts until you were nearly shouting over each other trying to get the point across. It worked for the most part, now that Yaz had the opportunity to replay your words anytime she chose. 

The Doctor had explained that she'd done this before, a couple bodies ago (a confession that had Graham looking Quite Confused) but this time they were doing the hunting, not being hunted. Instead of a family, like she'd told them all about, it seemed like there was a large collective group. They had run rampant across the stars for thousands of years, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. Somehow, the killing made them stronger. The Doctor had insisted that they find a way to stop them before they got to their strongest, but somehow they could sense your arrival every time.

"Must be something about our timelord biology... or the artron energy, but they can sense it. Should be fine with you lot, since your human body doesn't retain it long. I can put the TARDIS in a sort of... sleep mode?" Yaz hoped it would be that easy. Every time you all landed on a planet or space station and stumbled upon their work, they were off in an instant and you had to wait to 'find' them again. 

"Remember that tracker y/n mentioned- oh, she's gone to fetch it now- " the TARDIS started to complain more, disliking all the work her timelord was putting her through and the idea of 'sleeping'. "Oh hush, you can do this! You'll have to hang on to it, use it once you know for sure who they are, it'll embed itself in them and make things a lot easier for us to find them again." 

Yaz turned the tracker over in her pocket. It was a small rectangle, containing several tiny orbs inside. She hadn't gotten the opportunity to use it yet, so she wasn't quite sure if she was supposed to take the orbs out and throw them, stab them with the tracker, or if they would automatically attach. It seemed very inconvenient to have so many options when she'd likely only have a split second to use the device. 

There was a knock on the door. Her fingers clasped the tracker tighter, eyes wide. She didn't answer the door; it could be anyone out there. 

"Yaz?" Graham. She sat up, letting him in. Ryan stood next to him, carrying carry-out boxes. 

"What're you doing here?" She asked. 

"Ryan said you've been feeling down in the dumps lately. I figured, bit of tea, explore the TARDIS a bit- we can cheer you up" 

"I don't think the TARDIS will make tea right now" She said sadly. Graham frowned and then shrugged. 

"Suppose we won't know till we try. Come on now, we're cheering you up whether you like it or not" 

He pushed past her and into the space-time machine. She huffed at his stubbornness, but couldn't help the smile that grew out of her friends kindness. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch is... fun, and so is reading your not-girlfriends diary.

(Your POV) 

How were you meant to survive like this? 

Everyone was glancing over at you and Jane, their attention was permanently locked. You couldn't blame them. She was sitting across from you, telling another story, arms and hands flailing around in your sleeves. Your sleeves from your shirt. There was no denying it, either; you'd made the mistake of giving her one you'd worn only a week ago, and everybody knew. Everybody. 

But nobody was affected the way that you were affected. The warmth pressing against your cheeks hadn't subsided in the past 15 minutes, and neither did the inability to think properly. It wasn't fair for her to be that hot and then be hotter on top of it. 

"You okay, Y/N? You haven't touched your food." Oh, yeah, it was lunchtime. Not your fault for getting distracted. 

"Yeah, course" You lied. "I'm actually just thinking about... the crusades." 

There was a snicker from across the teachers lounge, but Jane didn't seem to notice. 

"The Crusades?" She inquired. 

"uhhhh.. Yeah! The new unit i'm teaching. Crazy stuff." You busied yourself with tossing your food around with your fork, shoving some of it into your mouth so you seemed occupied. Jane watched you for another long moment, then reached for her phone. 

**Is it what we talked about last night? - Kisses! Jane Smith**

oh, come on. She was literally right in front of you.

 _No, just zoning out. You don't have to worry._ Pausing for a moment, you looked around the room as if the other teachers could read your screen. Then, you added _Kisses._

You were sure it was a death sentence, but Jane smiled warmly at her screen and then to you, eyes crinkling. Good; she approved. The rest of lunch was spent in silence, trying to push her smile out of your head so you weren't a disaster for the rest of the day. It worked. Somewhat.

Still, when you got a moment to yourself, you couldn't help but feel proud of yourself for adding the 'Kisses' it felt so.. girlfriend-y. Every time there was a break between classes, you had something you 'urgently needed to print' that required the printer by the science wing so you could peek into her classroom for just a moment. There was one time where she almost saw you, but you'd ducked behind a trash can just in time. What an awkward conversation with the child who had seen you. 

The final bell was a blessing, as you were sure Jane would be coming over again tonight and you wanted to see if you could get some more cuddling time. You gathered your materials and told Ryan to have a swell rest of his day, rushing out the door. Before you could make it out of the wing a student had stopped you, carrying a bundle of papers. 

"Miss? Are you busy?" You'd be an asshole to say yes. You said no, instead, and she continued, looking uneasy. 

"I know this is a lot to ask, but we've got the dance coming up in a week and the head of the committee, Charlotte Wilson? Well, she hasn't come to school lately so we're a person short and we were going to ask you to chaperone anyway... would you mind helping us, miss?" 

She held out some of her papers. You scanned over them. It was a list of decorations that needed to be made and things that needed to be bought, along with times for decorating and organizing. It wasn't that bad of a task. Surely you could sacrifice a little time to help out. You met her eyes again, melting at the desperation you saw in them. 

"Sure," You found yourself agreeing. "I'll do my best!" 

She jumped up, squealing. "Thank you miss! I'll make it up to you, I promise. I might even study!" Then she was running off, grinning. 

"You _might_ study?" 

* * *

You unlocked your flat, stepping inside. Thankfully it was still spotless after yesterdays cleaning, so all you had to do was flop down on the couch and wait for Jane's arrival. You had a nice stack of papers along with the dance-centered ones, but no motivation to go through them. You set them on the coffee table with the quiet acceptance that you wouldn't get much of them done and your eyes drifted to Jane's journal. She must've left it there in the rush. 

You bit your lip. You probably shouldn't read it. But she _had_ invited you to. 

You held the journal in your hand. It seemed heavier than before. Your fingers ghosted over the binding and then to the edge of the cover, pulling it open. 

_It's a machine, but I can feel it's whispers in my head. Somehow it tells me what to do- what buttons to push, where I should go, what I should probably say to **her.** She's with me, again, like she always is. Leaning against the console and staring off into the distance. I can see the entire universe in this machine. But some how something even greater can be found with her and her alone. I want to take her somewhere special. I do every time, but it never seems to work out. There's always monsters and danger to stop me from doing things properly. _

_I wonder if she'll ever get bored of me. I have so many other dreams with so many others present, but they always seem to leave or disappear. Surely she'll disappear, too? I hope not._

You massaged the page between your thumb and index finger, biting your lip. Who was the 'she' that she was talking about? Was it you? You flipped to the next page, and your eyes immediately landed on the sketch there. **_Mrs. Khan?_** Your mouth fell open and you frantically read the page, wishing for it not to be true. 

_Last night, we were exploring a cave system on a distance planet, one were the atmosphere was no longer suitable for life. All of it's inhabitants lived under ground, carving intricate tunnels all across the planet. Something was harming the planets core, driving the magma upwards towards the cave colonies. They were trapped between death and, well, more death, and I wasn't sure what to do beyond get as many out as I could. They didn't want to leave though. Their planet held extreme religious significance as well as being their home, and I couldn't convince them however hard I tried. Ms. Khan was there this time, trying to convince them as well._

_Sometimes I see Y/Ns aid, Mr. Sinclair, there, and one of the janitors too. Sometimes I see only Y/n._

Seeing your name on the page wasn't shocking- Jane mentioned you were in her dreams. The shocking part was that you'd had this same dream, months ago. You sat there while Jane argued with the aliens, trying to convince them to escape to safety. There wasn't anything you could do to help convince them, and you knew that. You'd pulled Jane aside and told her that it'd be okay, that you would find a way to fix this. The next page was a retelling of just that, complete with sketches scarily accurate to the ones that you'd met. Okay, so maybe the sketch of Ms.Khan didn't mean much. Yay. 

_She's sad, this time, and I'm hoping it's because the inhabitants stubbornness and not a fault of mine. She pulls me aside and she's telling me that it'll be okay, and I want nothing else to believe her. In all the other dreams, we always win together. Why not now? The dream seems to blur after that, but when it slows down again she's yelling at someone. One of the aliens, the one in charge. There's a drill in the center of the room, one I think he used. She's asking him how he could destroy his own planet. I'm not sure why, but that makes me hurt so deeply the dream ends and I wake up._

You hurt Jane somehow? Even in a dream, you couldn't imagine yourself purposefully doing that. You don't even like discussing the idea of that. Another page begins: 

_Last nights dream began with my group of friends on another adventure. It didn't start out as an adventure, though, not really. It was calm. We were out for ice cream, back in Sheffield. I've had it before, but Y/N had a flavor she wanted me to try. Watching her give her excited recommendation made me feel... odd. Warm. I'll be seeing her again for lunch today, I expect, and I'm certainly more excited than before._

Cute, but not very eventful. Certainly not something you remembered. You flipped a few more pages ahead. The entire left page was dedicated to a sketch of you, and you gasped at the accuracy. It wasn't a quick sketch; it'd clearly taken a lot of time. Every wrinkle on your skin and strand of hair was perfectly translated onto the paper. You were sitting on the edge of something, staring off into the distance. 

_Last night, she was in my dream again. But it was different, in the most wonderful way. There were no others around and no monsters to attack us. It was merely the two of us, sitting and talking together. I'm not sure if I can write everything on account of me not knowing what to think about it all. I'll try my best._

_We're in the TARDIS, relaxing after something that must've been quite exciting. My hearts (I have two of them in these dreams, I think) are still running a mile a minute and so is my mouth. I barely even know what I'm saying to her, just that she's listening and so, **so** close. Even though my mouth is saying something, my mind is focused entirely on something else; her and her alone. I think I know what i'm feeling now. What I've been feeling every time I meet her for lunch or see her in the hallways. _

The door opened. You threw the journal down, jumping up. Jane set her purse on the counter, throwing her keys into it. In her arms was another grocery bag. Again?? You fidgeted with your hands. What did she mean to say? What did she feel, every time she saw you? God, you hoped it was the same as you. How would you even bring up the question, though? 

"I was thinking- snacks for dinner? I don't mean one snack, I mean a plethora of snacks. Lots of snacks." 

"Snacks?" You said questioningly. She was pulling even more junk food out of the bag, and you felt a phantom pain in your teeth as if they knew the damage that was waiting for them. 

"Gold star! Just imagine, you don't have to eat too much at once because it's small, but there's a lot of small things so you're not without choice, and all sorts of flavors!" 

"Um... sure, sounds fun!" You found yourself saying. Even though you were sure you'd regret it, the smile on her face was worth it. She ran around the kitchen, preparing things at hyper-speed while you watched her, startled and confused. Your brain was still whirling from trying to analyze her writings and her she was making it worse by being all cute and ridiculous. It simply wasn't fair. 

Within 10 minutes she began moving things off the coffee table, replacing them with plates of food. Each one seemed a little more questionable from the last. In the beginning, there were normal snacks like cheese and crackers. Then, she introduced custard cremes to the mix and everything went haywire after that. Every time she placed something new down, she would look at you expectantly, waiting for your approval. You gave it to her every time in the form of a smile and nod, even if it was a little forced. Finally, though, you had to break your silence. 

"Jane- what _is_ that?" 

She held the bowl back up. "Custard. For the fish fingers" 

"The what?" You asked, voice sharpening in horror. She pouted. 

"I know it seems odd, but I promise you'll love it." You kept your eyebrows raised, unconvinced. _"Promise_ " She whined. 

"Fine," You caved. "Just hurry up so we can actually eat"

"Eager, are we? Knew the snacks were a good idea" 

You rolled your eyes as she disappeared back into the kitchen. How could someone like her exist? After a few more minutes she bounced back into the living room, joining you on the couch where you'd spent the night previously. You stared at the many food options that lay before you, frowning. Where did you start. You could feel Jane's eyes watching you, waiting for you to react to something. Slowly, your hand moved towards the cheese and crackers. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Jane pout again. Instead, you changed direction towards the plate of fish fingers. The bowl of custard sat just to the left of it, and you resisted the urge to sniff in disgust. Oh, the things you did for love. 

Jane leaned forward as you brought the food to your mouth, waiting for your review. Thankfully, your taste buds weren't immediately incinerated, but it did take some getting used to. After a few seconds, you found yourself enjoying the nice mix of salty and sweet. 

"Good?" 

"Yeah, actually" You laughed. You raised your hand to your mouth to wipe away the remaining custard only to find that Jane beat you too it. You nearly jumped back in surprise as her thumb swiped across your lip. Heat flared across your cheeks as your mind considered the possibilities of the scene you found yourself in. Oh god, why couldn't she just kiss you already? Her lips looked _so_ soft. Would it kill the universe to have her lean forward just a _little?_

"Jane-" you whispered. She didn't move her hand from where is rested on your cheek, and you could feel your nerves getting the best of you. "I think it's gone" 

You turned back to the food, avoiding her gaze. She sighed and glanced absentmindedly around the room while your brain tried to process the multitudes of emotions and wishes running through it. Eventually she began assembling more snack combinations, offering them to you every few minutes so you could try. In return, you put together some of your own favorite combinations. After that, dinner became a flavor-swapping fest for the ages. 

"Did you read it?" Jane asked after the two of you had exhausted your stomachs limits and cleaned up the mess you'd made. You perked up from your food coma state and noticed she was looking at her journal. The words you'd read earlier came back to you and you nodded. 

"Can I ask... how much of it did you read?" Why did she sound so nervous? She wasn't allowed to be nervous with the way she was making you nervous. It wasn't fair! Or maybe it was, you didn't know. There was so much you weren't sure of. 

"Bits and pieces. It's weird... there's at least 10 dreams that overlap." Jane sat back against the couch, forgetting all about the food in front of her. She propped herself up on her elbow and turned completely toward you, eyes searching for something in yours. "But that's not possible, right? Maybe i'm just remembering it all wrong." 

"I don't think so, Y/N. I don't know how but they're the same. It's like.. _we're_ the same some how." You watched her lose herself in thought, considering what she'd said. It wasn't possible, though. People didn't have the exact same dreams like that; there could be similarities, yes, but that didn't just _happen_. Unable to provide any rational explanation, you mimicked Jane's relaxed pose and stayed silent. The two of you sat there for a long while, oblivious to the man outside. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have the greatest morning in the history of mornings and Yaz has a somewhat okay one trying to jog your memory a little

(Your POV) 

The first thing you noted when you woke up Monday was that your pillow felt very different. There was weight around your shoulders and - oh, wait a minute. The pillow was rising and falling. If you listened closely, you could hear a slow heartbeat and soft breaths above you. Oh god. **Was your pillow Jane?!?!**

It took every ounce of control in your body not to leap up and ruin the moment. You weren't on the couch this time. The blankets settled against your skin were easily recognizable. It was your sheets, too. You shifted your leg, which was starting to seize up. As you relaxed it though, your head dug into Jane more. You cursed inwardly, thinking you had given yourself away. She tensed against you and you clenched your teeth together. Don't move, don't make a sound. She didn't speak, though. She shifted herself, her hand moving from holding you to gently pet your hair. She was awake, judging by the movements. You didn't want to 'wake up' with her; not when she was doing things like that. 

Instead, you let yourself relax more as she began to lightly run her fingers through your hair. As time passed you became hyper aware of every point of contact. Jane was laying on her back, her other arm somewhere unknown. You were laying on top of her, arm wrapped around her waist - _god, she was warm_ \- and down below, your legs were tangled together. You would've squealed with excitement if you weren't trying to pretend to be asleep. 

She shifted again, stretching away from you _no no no no nonono!_ There was a clunk of something against the dresser and quiet clicking. Most likely, she was checking her phone. She sighed, sounding quite irritated. 

"It's time for us to wake up," She whispered quietly. Nah, fuck that. Not when you were in each others arms like this. Your frown must've given you away, because she giggled softly. You could feel the vibration through her chest ( had you really been laying your head there for the past 8 hours?) and instinctively snuggled in closer. She cupped your cheek and pulled your head off of her, thumb raising to pull your eyelid open. You leaned back, laughing at her odd attempt at waking you. Then, your laughter ceased when you took in her appearance. 

It wasn't bad. On the contrary, it was unbearably hot. Her head was leaned against your headboard, hair mussed from sleep. Oh, to reach forth and comb it for her with your fingers... Her eyes were half-lidded as if sleep hadn't fully released her and they were focused on you and you alone. 

"Something wrong?" she murmured. Her thumb was trailing over the skin of your face, exploring. You felt dizzy as it swiped over your bottom lip and you could swear you saw a hint of knowing mischief in her eyes. 

"N-no" You stammered. "Why would something be wrong?" 

"You're staring" The words were low. Confident. Jane's thumb was lightly grazing your lip again and you couldn't help but pout your lips a little in response, leaning into the touch. You leaned a little closer, dead set on closing the gap between the two of you. Then, something lit up behind her eyes and she jumped up off the bed. You fell onto the empty mattress with a huff and pushed yourself back up, heart aching in disappointment. 

"Pancakes!" She yelled. "I've never made them before, but I think I have enough time to try."

Your mouth hung open, staring at the wall in surprise. Was she really going to leave you hanging like that? The bed was still warm in her absence and you sheepishly leaned forward to breath in the remainder of her scent on the pillow. How had you even ended up in bed? All you remembered from the weekend was grading and talking about your dreams for hours on end. 

"Do you have milk?" 

* * *

The pancakes had turned out absolutely _awful_. You'd never cooked them before, either, resulting in the two of you frantically running around the kitchen trying to put everything together. You were making a very serious effort, looking up recipes on your phone. Jane, however, seemed to laugh and mess up more with every failed attempt. 

"You do realize we have limited time, right? We have to get this done" You whined. She was cleaning up the batter she'd spilled all over the floor after trying to be "the fastest whisker'

She laughed again and threw the paper towels away, leaning back on her hands. 'Tell you what. You go take a shower and I'll try something else." 

You snorted. Her entire body and pajamas were covered with flour and other ingredients. "Looks like you need a shower much more than me" 

She huffed and sat up, starting to gather the materials and ingredients she'd attempted to use. "None of that. Your turn first" 

Giving in, you walked to the bathroom and started the water, waiting for it to get hot enough. Pressing your ear against the door, you could hear Jane humming and mumbling to herself as she started working on her next breakfast plan. Steam licked against your skin and you knew you had to hop in fast if you wanted there to be hot water left for Jane. You nearly tripped on your way, gripping the wall. Jane was going to take a shower. At your flat. After trying to cook for you. At your flat. After spending the night with you _again_. After spending the whole _weekend_ with you. At your flat. Your head was whirling. 

While you washed yourself, your mind drifted to the idea of Jane's flat. What was it like there? Would her bed be as soft as yours if you spent the night with her there? Could you cook for her in the morning or maybe just for dinner? Maybe it would just be easier if the two of you had a flat together. Now you were just wasting time, letting the water wash over you as your brain continued to suggest ideas and scenarios involving the woman in your kitchen. 

You shut the water off after 10 minutes or so, pulling your towel on as soon as you were left without its heat. You checked your phone, learning that you still had a good hour before you needed to go Coal Hill. Plenty of time to get dressed, fix other aspects of your appearance, and make lunch for you and Jane. Excited to get started you pulled the door open and yelped. 

Jane was leaning against the door frame, eyes wide as she yelped in response. You clutched the doorknob tighter, trying to still your overworking heartbeat. 

"What're you doing?" You asked. 

"I was going to ask how you wanted your eggs, sorry." You hugged your towel closer to yourself and her eyes slowly moved down your form, cheeks painted with a soft pink. She swallowed and repeated her apology. Then she turned around, stomping back to the kitchen. You let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, shuddering. You yelled your preference to her, wincing at the way your voice cracked. Embarrassed and far too hot, you scampered back into your room to get dressed. 

You chose a simple outfit, remembering the events of a couple days previous. If Jane had brought her own pajamas, surely she had brought her own outfit for today? You were torn between hoping she did to save you the gossip and hoping she didn't so you could see her in your clothes again. When you were done you started work on your hair and makeup, trying to get done as fast as possible so that you could eat what Jane had prepared for you. 

The kitchen certainly smelled better than it did when you were running around burning pancake after pancake. Your lips pulled into a smile as you breathed in the smell of eggs, bacon, and toast. Jane was setting toast on a plate very carefully. It seemed as if the food on the plate had been very meticulously placed, like an art piece. When she saw you come in she stepped back, pulling the chair out for you. 

"I'd eat with you, but I have to get in the shower too. I... I hope you like it" You sat down, fighting the urge to grin at all the effort she'd put into your real breakfast. As she started the shower you pulled your phone into your hand, googling recipes. After finishing your (surprisingly good) breakfast, you started pulling ingredients out of the fridge to prepare lunch for you and Jane. You tried to put as much effort as she'd put into your breakfast into the sandwich wraps. When you were done you wrote a nice note and slipped it into her container, setting them on the edge of the counter so you didn't forget them. 

"Which bow tie?," Jane said a few minutes later. She was drying her hair off with a towel, dressed in a maroon button up and black pants. In her hands she held two strips of fabric." 

You pulled them into your hands, worrying your lip between your teeth as you tried to choose. One was plain black with darker black design stretching across the entirety of it, elegant and bold. The second was gold. You held each one up to her chest. "the Black" You decided. "Goes with the pants." 

"Thanks!" She said. She began to expertly tie it, no mirror needed. You watched her hands move, quite impressed. "Lovely shower by the way. Much better than mine" 

You frowned, leaning against the counter as you remembered all the questions you'd considered in the shower. Feeling curiosity and a slight bit of bravery flow through you, you asked. "Speaking of that. You've been over to my flat so many times. What about yours?" 

"Mine?" 

"Yeah. I mean, it's cool if you don't want me over or something" 

"No, I do!" She insisted. Still, you could hear a lot of hesitation in her voice. "I'd love to... have you over." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Could even come over tonight if you wanted." 

"Tonight?" It seemed really sudden, but you could work with it. Then she winced. 

"Actually, not tonight. It's probably really dirty. Or- not dirty, I didn't mean that, ahh..." She trailed off, her gaze avoiding yours and landing on the containers. "Oh! Lunch! What'd you make this time?" 

"Some sandwich wraps. Didn't know if you wanted mayo or not so I put it on the side." 

"Don't worry about it. I like anything you make." You blushed and handed her her container. What a dork. Your lips stretched into a smile as she started gathering her things. Your morning had been the best you'd had in a long time, and you didn't want it to end. You had long since gotten everything you needed ready, so you sat down on the couch and turned on the news while you waited for Jane. The anchorwoman was standing in front of a house, where policemen and women were exiting and entering with various tools and tape. 

_"Police today are investigating the home of Jessica Johnson, a fellow member of police force who was classified as a missing person last Wednesday. According to investigators no foul play has been detected, although the whereabouts of Johnson's husband and daughter have also been called into question. This disappearance joins dozens of others in the shoreditch area alone, stretching all the way to-"_

"Something's taking them" Your head whipped around to Jane, who was leaned against the wall holding her things. Her face was slack, but her eyes were intently focused on the news. When she noticed you staring curiously, she shook her head abruptly and blinked. "Sorry. Lost in thought. You ready to go?" 

You gave one last nervous look at the television before nodding, joining her in walking out the door. 

* * *

(Yaz's POV) 

Whispers seemed to follow Yaz as she made her way through the halls of the school Monday morning. They only made her more nervous- she was on a mission. The disappearance of the police woman and newly established attention on other missing individuals had put her back in adventure mode. The tracker felt heavy in her hand as she stomped towards your classroom. She didn't interact with you as much as she did Jane; by approaching you first, she was eliminating the risk of making things too awkward and causing conflict. 

Finding that the door to your classroom was unlocked she walked in, pausing when she saw two students scribbling away on your chalkboard. 

"Excuse me!" She yelled. They jumped, dropping the chalk. She read the words on the board as they ran past her. _Much love!_ surrounded by dozens and dozens of chalk hearts with you and Jane's name in them. With a groan she grabbed the eraser and began wildly wiping at the chalk. Before she got halfway through, footsteps in the hallway cause her to pause. You stepped in the classroom, fingers moving through a stack of paper. When you looked up and noticed her, you smiled brightly. 

"Hi, Ms. Khan! How are you today?" Then, your eyes landed on the chalkboard and your eyebrow raised. Yaz slowly set the eraser down, clearing her throat. 

"Um. Good, yeah. Sorry, the kids left a little present for you and I thought i'd erase it" She took note of your red cheeks and kept erasing until there was only a ghost of the words left over. 

"Thank you, Ms. Khan. " You set your papers on your desk and Yaz fiddled with the Tracker nervously. "Anything else?" you asked her. She bit her lip and held the tracker out to you. 

"Do you know what this is?" She asked, searching your eyes for recognition. There was a brief flash of it, but not enough to satisfy. "Here, hold it" 

Sensing hesitation, she placed it in your hand carefully. You looked over it, turning it over in your hand with a shake of your head. Yaz frowned. Surely there was some way she could get answers on how to use the tracker without fully ruining your cover. "It doesn't look familiar? not in the slightest?" 

"I suppose it does a little..." You hummed. Your brows were pulled together like you were trying to grasp onto something far away from you. She supposed the information _was_ far away from you, at least in this state. _Come on_ she urged. _There's got to be some of you left in there still._ But with another blink, any recognition was gone. "No, sorry. What is it?" 

Yaz slumped, grabbing the tracker back. "Just... something I confiscated from a student. I was hoping you'd know what it was"

"Miss L/N, Miss Khan," the two of you turned and Yaz felt her stomach drop when she saw the headmaster in the doorway, the secretary standing behind him. Every time she saw the man her suspicion grew. Most of her knew that he was likely who they were chasing but at the same time, she didn't know how many trackers she had to waste. All she needed was a little bit of evidence. "Good morning. May I speak with Miss L/N for a moment?" 

Yaz clutched the tracker tightly, partly in an effort to conceal it and partly to remind herself that she could use it on him in a moment if needed. Well, if she figured out how to use it. Okay, so maybe she couldn't use it instantaneously, but she had a chance. Unfortunate inconveniences aside, the last thing she wanted was you near him. 

"Actually, me and her were discussing some plans for the dance." She tried.   
  
"Dance?" You asked. "I didn't know you were on the planning committee. " Damn. You, the Headmaster, and the secretary were all staring at her with confused looks. 

"Well- well I am," Yaz stammered. "And I thought we could talk about it." 

"I believe there's a meeting for the planning committee tonight, Ms. Khan. It wouldn't hurt for Ms. Y/N to come with us" The secretary said. Her voice was sickly sweet, her eyelashes fluttering in an innocence Yaz knew was tarnished. Fake. 

"Yeah, we can talk then if that's fine" Damn, why couldn't you get the message she was trying to send? Yaz pocketed the tracker slowly so as not to attract attention to it, then tried another route. 

"Well, class is going to start in a few minutes, isn't it?" 

"Suppose that's true" You said with an awkward smile. "Is there any chance we can talk during lunch, sir?" 

Irritation was rooted in the headmaster eyes and he twitched, sighing. Through seemingly gritted teeth he said "Yes. I suppose that would be fine." He didn't leave the room immediately, however. He stood in the doorway, keeping his eyes locked on Yaz. She shuddered, trying to stand her ground as best as possible. Although she wouldn't say it with words, Yaz hoped her eyes were telling him that whatever he was doing wouldn't work. She didn't know if he was the one she _needed_ to stop but he was someone she _wanted_ to stop. For whatever reason she could find. Something was wrong about him. After a minute, he gave a tight smile and stepped backwards into the hallway, pushing his secretary aside in the process. 

"Whew, that mans weird" You murmured beside her. 

"You're not actually going to meet with him are you?" 

"Why wouldn't I?" 

"I know he's weird but don't you feel like there's something truly _wrong_ about him? Does _he_ seem familiar?" Yaz pressed the issue further, trying to see if she could prompt any sort of reaction from your true self. You only shook your head, stepping back from her a little. 

"Is everything alright with you this morning, Ms. Khan?" Yaz huffed irritably, smoothing her hair back. One last try. 

"I'm fine but others aren't. You don't know _anything_ about this? Anything at all?" 

"Ms. Khan" You said sternly. "I've already said I don't know what you're talking about. I'll ask again; is everything alright?" 

"Everything's. Fine." Yaz grumbled. She pushed past you and stormed out of the classroom, not bothering to stop even when she heard you call out her name. Students were starting to pile into the hall, talking among themselves. She could hear a soft crying, and her eyes flickered to a group of girls surrounding one of their friends, who was clutching her arm. One of the girls reached out to grab onto her arm. 

"Sorry, Miss But she's been stung by a bee outside. Do you have ice or something?" 

_Go to the nurse, idiot_ was regrettably her first thought, but luckily her mouth was not quick enough to catch on to it and she was able to switch it for a much more suitable "No, but I'm sure we can find some." 

As she led the girls towards the nurses office, Yaz made a mental note to take advantage of the soonest opportunity to go to your flat. She didn't need to open the fob watch _just_ yet, but she needed to be able to at a moments notice. Something told her that moment would be coming all too soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI everyone! so, school has been cancelled because of the current virus. This means I have a lot more time to write than usual, but it also means a lot more stress! I'm gonna try and write a lot more than usual and hopefully get something out but i'll also be working too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does the Headmaster want with you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to the groupchat, for always making me smile

(Your POV) 

Your hands felt clammy as you made your way to the office. Except for the incident with Leo, you hadn't really ever met with the Headmaster one-on-one before. He was weird before; you were sure he'd be weird again. Despite picking your brain for everything you'd done in the last few weeks, you couldn't determine a reason for why the Headmaster would want to meet with you. That only made the upcoming meeting much more nerve-wracking. 

As you walked into the office, you frowned, seeing no one there. "Hello?" 

Suddenly, the secretary popped up from underneath the desk, face white. It made you jump back, a shiver running through you at the sight of her complexion. "Are you alright?" 

"Fine." She answered quickly. She took a seat in the chair behind the desk and reached for the phone, pressing a button. There was a small buzz sound and the Headmaster stepped out of his office. His eyes were hard, gesturing for you to come in. The secretary was also staring at you expectantly, and you pushed yourself forward despite the concern creeping up on you. As you passed the threshold into the office, a wave of extreme heat passed over you. You gulped and tugged at your collar, taking a seat opposite of the Headmaster. 

"How are you today, Miss L/N?" 

"Good" You answered easily. He responded with a tight smile, grabbing a file from the other side of his desk. 

"Do you know what this is?" Eyes drifting across the tan surface, you saw your name printed in the upper left hand corner. 

"Um. My file sir?" You couldn't help but become extremely worried; Were you about to be reprimanded for something? The last thing you needed was to get in trouble, that would hurt the plan. The plan? no, you just didn't want to lose your job, of course. "Is something wrong?" 

"Do you think something is wrong?" Gulping again, you stared at the file in his hand, which he was still gripping tightly. You shook your head, trying to meet his gaze. After a moment he smile again and leaned back in his seat, throwing the file open. It was relatively thin, given that you hadn't been at the school for that long, but apparently it had all he needed because his smile grew. "Tell me, Mrs. Y/N, where did you work before this?" 

"I didn't. I studied at the Academy" You answered instantly. 

" _Which_ academy?" 

"u-Uh, UCL," You replied. Were you sweating? The heat of the room combined with your nervousness was starting to get to you. Surely that's why you'd answered so oddly. 

"and did you live in that area?" What an odd question. Sitting up in your seat a little more, you tried to catch a glimpse of the page he was looking at. He shifted as well, holding the file up so that you could no longer see even a sliver of the page. 

"No." You said uneasily. "Sorry, can I ask what this is all for?" 

The Headmaster's eyes flickered up to you, narrowed. He let out a breath and blinked slowly. "Routine check-in with staff. I'm sure you've heard of all the disappearances on the news." You had, but you hadn't thought much of it. In fact, the _idea_ of thinking about it seemed to disagree with your head, which was starting to brew quite the headache. "We're asking everyone a few questions, just to make sure everything is... _dandy_ " 

You couldn't argue with that. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to get hurt. In fact- 

"Where is your family from? The country, the city, or-?" 

"Gallifrey" 

"Where?" 

"G-" You stopped. Why did you feel like you weren't supposed to say that? But it was true, wasn't it? You were sure of it. "Gallifrey, sir." 

"Did you work anywhere before you studied? And if you didn't, what did your parents do for work?" This time, your answer didn't come as quickly. In fact, you couldn't exactly come up with an answer. It was like the gears in your brain were getting stuck on something, sparking. Why the hell was he asking you a question like that? most importantly: why didn't you know? "Miss L/N, answer the question." 

"I don't see how that's relevant" You snapped suddenly. Then your eyes widened, hand flying to your mouth. "Sorry, sir I- I didn't mean that. " 

As if a gallon of oil had been dumped on the gears your mind began to whir violently, suddenly throwing an answer past your lips before you could stop it. "My father was a Teacher and my mother was a librarian." 

The Headmaster had set the file on the desk, wide open for you to see. You didn't bother glancing at it; out of the corner of your eye, it looked like the page was _empty._ His eyes were digging into the back of your head, his hand reaching for a pen without even looking in it's direction. He clicked it slowly, bringing it down to the empty page. As you became aware of your quick breaths his hand moved at a lightning speed across the page, scribbling words that you had said but somehow failed to understand. "Indeed. One last question: What are your plans at this school?" 

"My plans?" You whispered shakily. 

" _Your plans_ " He said between gritted teeth. 

"I'm teaching the children the crusades" Came your instinctive response. You couldn't say anything else. Was there even another option? Your heart was beating so fast, almost like it was working for two. Just when your fear reached a new peak, the Headmaster leaned back with a loud laugh. Unsure of how to react you counted your breaths, staring at the door to his office. The knob looked so inviting. You could turn it and run, run like you always did. 

"You can go, now, Miss L/N." Without looking back, thanking him, or saying goodbye, you launched out of your seat and threw the door open. The secretary jumped up from behind the desk again at the loud noise, but you spared her nothing. You pushed past the students in the hall, too, ignoring their protests and 'what's wrong with her?' nothing was wrong with you. You were fine. Everything was fine, it was as it should be. But _god_ , was it entirely not fine at the same time. 

It seemed like in the blink of an eye you were pushing open the door to the girls toilets. A group of them were sitting at the counter, comparing their lipsticks. "Y-You can't loiter in here" you stammered. You were certain that that wasn't actually a rule, but it didn't matter. If it wasn't, they didn't seem to catch on. They broke apart and made their way out of the room, grumbling to themselves. 

Once the last one pushed her way out the door you locked yourself in a stall, panting. Thankfully, the bathroom was not as scorching hot as the Headmasters office had been. on the contrary, the wall was soothingly cold when you rested your forehead against it, pretending like you didn't see a sharpie heart with you and Jane's name inside. It seemed like the walls were pressing against you from every side, squeezing your brain together. Why did your head hurt so bad? It felt like fingers were clawing at it, tearing it apart, trying to get something. 

You wished the fingers would take away the memory of the Headmasters eyes as he stared at you. But the memory remained, flashing against the back of your eyelids. Somehow, though, that wasn't the main thing bothering you. Why had he asked you so many oddly specific questions? why did it seem so hard to answer some of them? It was your life. You knew your life, you _lived_ it. 

Your eyes opened. Once the tears fell, they cleared the way for you to stare at the sharpie heart. Jane! You needed Jane. The really loud buzzing noise coming from the window was starting to get to you anyway. Quickly you unlocked the door, checking yourself over in the mirror. You certainly didn't look your best; you were still hyperventilating, tears dripping down your cheeks slowly, ruining your makeup. Grabbing a couple towels you wiped underneath your eyes to clean them, dabbing the rest of the tears away with your sleeves and tilting your head back so that more couldn't fall. Five seconds passed and you let out a sigh, deciding that you'd waited long enough. 

The halls were still packed but students made way for you this time, clearly having heard about your behavior a few minutes previous. The teachers lounge wasn't that far, which was good, because that's exactly where you were supposed to go in the first place. Now you felt bad; Jane didn't know about your meeting, would she be waiting for you? Surprisingly, she wasn't. In fact, the only teachers in the lounge were the Maths teachers discussing how the smart boards were acting up again. When you opened the fridge, you saw that there was only one of the two containers you'd prepared waiting to be eaten. Jane had been here, clearly. Now you felt worse. she'd probably waited so long she'd given up on the meal all together. 

"Are you looking for Ms. Smith?" One of the math teachers asked. Cheeks warm you nodded. "She's eating out in the courtyard today." 

The courtyard? she'd never eaten out there before. Thanking the random teacher you took the other container, making your way to the courtyard. Kids where playing different games in different corners, laughing and talking among themselves. In the center, where an empty bench usually stood, you saw the back of Jane's head. She was sitting with Graham, Ryan, and Ms. Khan, laughing at something. Your sour mood got a punch to the gut at the joyous sound, and you knew she was the only one who could cheer you up. 

She turned around as if she'd somehow sensed your presence, grinning. It fell as soon as her eyes surveyed your appearance, eyes widening. 

"Y/N, are you okay?" her questions prompted the other three to turn around, all of their faces painted with some level of concern. Your chin wobbled. 

"Can we talk?" the three looked at Jane, eyebrows raised. She ignored them and nodded, jumping up out of her seat and leaving her container behind. Not caring about any possible embarrassment you grabbed hold of her hand, leading her back inside. 

"Y/N... slow down, what's wrong." You were scanning the hall, looking for a private place you could talk. The only empty hallway was the one to the maths ward, which was fortunate seeing as there was a closet down that same hall. You wriggled the knob and, finding it locked, growled and reached for your keys. Jane stayed silent as you fumbled with the lock. When it clicked you shoved the door open, pulling her inside by the sleeve. She shut the door behind her and you let out a breath you'd been holding for a minute or two, only to immediately catch it back. 

It was a horrifically small closet, something you were unaware of before you dragged her inside. You were chest-to-chest, staring at one another in silence. Her arms wrapped around you slowly, somehow managing to hold you closer to her. It was all to easy to relax into the hug, letting out a shaky sigh as she ran her fingers up through your hair, holding your head to her chest. It was just like the day she'd held you in the kitchen, only you didn't have the option of sitting down. You didn't mind, though; the ache in your legs was worth it to be in her arms. 

Lips pressed against your head and then whispered. "What's wrong?" 

"I don't know how to explain it right now" You answered. Your voice was thick, and you realized you'd started steadily crying again. "it's just like, really overwhelming" 

Jane nodded and kissed your head again, without pulling away that time. You could feel her checking her watch and shut your eyes, not wanting for any bell or deadline to ruin what you had with her in this moment. "it's okay" she murmured, as if reading your thoughts. "We've got ten minutes. Plenty of time. Plenty of time" 

For six of those ten minutes, you stayed in her arms without talking, letting yourself calm down. You didn't want Jane getting confused or thinking you were weird, so instead of rambling you put together a plan of telling her all that had happened. You leaned back and just as you did you found Jane's face incredibly close to yours, lips barely a breath away. Her eyes went wide and her cheeks went red. She moved back, but her arms were still around you so she was tugging you along. Her back crashed into the door and you crashed into her with a surprised yelp. 

Your hands were pressed against the door, most likely due to you trying to stop your fall. Because of their position, though, you were caging Jane in against the door. When you leaned back this time her hands had moved to your shoulder, gripping them tightly. Both of your eyes were wide open, maintaining a close distance. You weren't complaining but wow, it was awkward. 

"Sorry," Jane panted. "I meant.." her hands were flapping against your shoulders like they always did when she was talking. Then she half-shouted "Forehead!" 

Your... forehead? 

"I meant to... you know." Oh. She'd meant to kiss your forehead, thats why her lips had been... like _that_ when you pulled away the first time. You could only nod in response, mouth going dry as your brain pointed out how _easy_ it would be to kiss her other places. For a moment it seemed like her hand was moving up towards your face, but she set it back on your shoulder. "So, are you feeling better?" 

"oh, for sure" Oh god, why did you sound so breathless right now. To be fair, you were. Jane brushed her hair behind her ear, grabbing one of your hands from the side of her face and holding it in her own. 

"What happened?" Alright, the plan. 

"I had to meet with the Headmaster, and he was asking me all sorts of weird questions" It was weird; suddenly, you couldn't remember _why_ he'd called you in. _Don't bother with that now, focus on the plan_. "and it was really overwhelming and weird, like I didn't know the answer to them" 

"What sorts of questions?" 

"Basic ones, that's the problem. It was like... I didn't know myself" 

Jane thought for a moment, then kissed the back of your hand. "You're Y/N. You're a history teacher at Coal Hill school, you have been for months, and so have I and we're... friends. There, now you know yourself." 

The second Jane finished, it was like a weight had been lifted off of you. Of course. You were Y/N, a history teacher at Coal Hill School, and you had been for months, and you were Jane's friend. When Jane said it, it was like you had no reason to think otherwise. You inhaled deeply and nodded, brushing your hair out of your face. 

"Now," Jane murmured, pushing you off of her. "Do you want to do something tonight, to cheer you up?" 

"Yeah?" 

"yeah," She said with a grin. "Walk in the park, movie, dinner..?" 

The bell rang behind you, and you frowned. A walk in the park sounded wonderful, and so did a movie and so did dinner. You'd done all three with Jane before, of course, but it felt _different_ this time. But the bell also reminded you of prior obligations. 

"Oh, I can't" You groaned. "I'm supposed to be making decorations for the dance." 

Jane visibly deflated, pouting. "Oh, alright. Oh! Well, that's alright I suppose, maybe I can clean up my flat!" 

You chuckled, remembering that she'd invited you over. "Thank's for offering anyway. Do you suppose we can get out of here without anyone seeing?" 

"Not likely. Might have to wait a moment but I don't mind" 

You didn't either. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the writer finally gives Graham a part. Oh, and the plot continues of course in the most wonderful way. But wow, I really abandoned my grandpa. Forgive me, grandpa.

Grahams POV

Graham's retirement wasn't going well. Mainly because during the whole 'undercover operation' he'd been stuck with a janitors job, of all things. Working as a bus driver he had experienced his fair share of abuse and tough days, but he'd trade for that in an instant if it meant not having to scrub sharpie again. He kept telling himself that it was only a few more days but honestly, he barely believed it at this point. Thankfully, Yaz was working full steam ahead trying to get to the bottom of the nonsense that had landed them there. His grandson was too, but not with the same amount of Vigor. Ryan had headed back to their shared flat about an hour ago, promising to pick up food. It was one of the main things motivating him, even if he wasn't going to get out of work for another hour (and that depended on whether the other janitors were doing their job but he didn't like them very much and doubted it)

It surprised him how easy it was for him to get irritated now a days, but he always stifled it down. He didn't like to be negative. If he was negative, he was sure it would rub off on Yaz and Ryan, who didn't need anymore negativity. He had to be happy and levelheaded, for them. So, instead, he spent the next few minutes of cleaning reminding himself of the good side of the situation. For one, there wasn't any immediate danger like usual. That was nice. Secondly, it was nice to have things slow down and settle back to normal while still, in some aspect, hanging onto the Doc and Y/N. He didn't know what to make of them. The graffiti sure was irritating.

Suddenly, his ears perked up. There was shouting coming from another hall only a few doors down. He dropped his scrub brush in the bucket, trying not to slip on the water that spilled as he walked quickly towards the source of the sound. He reached for his phone in his back pocket, ready to call Yaz at the first sign of trouble. When he found the hallway he pressed himself against the corner, peeking his head out carefully.

"I'm sick of this **_lying!!!_** " a woman shrieked. Across from her stood the Headmaster, who's arms were crossed. "I know you know something and I don't care how many damn times I have to call the police here if I have to call the _prime minister himself-_ "

"Miss Jones, I assure that isn't necessary-" 

"Isn't _necessary?_ Don't you dare, you swine! That's my son, my _ **boy**_ " 

"I am aware of the situation, Miss Jones, and I assure you that the police are doing everything they can to find your son." 

Graham slowly opened the voice memo app on his phone, hitting the record button. 

"The police aren't doing anything! and I _know_ you know something that can help them I _know_ it" 

The Headmaster looked around and Graham darted back behind the wall, heart racing. He didn't like that man, not one bit. Nor did he like how scared and _devastated_ that woman sounded. He didn't end the recording, holding his breath. 

"Perhaps we should step into my office and discuss this" the Headmaster offered. Graham tensed. He didn't think that was such a good idea. Shifting on his feet, he weighed his options. He could jump out now and stop the woman from entering, but that could give away their cover and possibly put him in danger in the process. But, if he didn't, _she_ could get hurt. Unfortunately, the choice was made for him, and by the time he looked over the wall again the door to the office was being pulled shut, with both individuals inside. 

There was an uneasiness that settled in his bones, then, one that grew to epic proportions when he finished his cleaning an hour later and noticed that although the office was dark and empty, there was still a car in the parking lot that didn't belong to any staff. 

* * *

(Your POV) 

It was getting dark, and cold. But you were still parked on the side of the road, one street away from Jane's flat, trying to work up the courage to officially arrive. The entire day you'd been looking forward to coming over, especially after not seeing Jane at all last night. It was hard to get over Jane withdrawal, especially when your bed felt so cold without her arms protecting you. She'd texted you five minutes ago to let you know that everything was ready, though you'd been on the road ten minutes before that. Realizing she was probably waiting for you, you groaned and leaned your head against the steering wheel. 

Unfortunately, you leaned a little too hard and the horn went off, making you jump. Embarrassed, you shifted gears and finished the seconds long drive to Jane's flat, checking your phone to make sure you were at the right place. It looked... dark. There wasn't anything outside to distinguish it from any of the other houses, save for Jane's blue car. You parked and got out, grabbing the cookies you'd made as a thank-you-for-inviting-me-over-even-if-it-was-about-time gift. After clearing your throat five times, you raised your hand to knock on the door. 

Before your knuckles made contact it swung open, revealing Jane. You stared at her long enough to be noticed but not long enough to be creepy. Instead of her usual button up and bowtie, she was wearing a thick oversized sweater. Part of you almost got jealous noticing the cute rainbow stripes that covered the front of it, stretching across her chest. It suited her, a lot. In fact, part of it felt remarkably familiar. She grinned and took the cookies from you just as you realized it looked just like the same clothes you'd seen her wear in your dreams. 

"You didn't have to! I have plenty in the cupboards." 

"Oh, yeah, I bet" You murmured, shoving any awkward realizations aside. As you shrugged off your coat you looked around, eyebrow twitching upwards. It was dark in the flat. and empty. There was only a couch in the living room and a lamp next to it, with some odd drawings covering the walls. You blinked. It was a little... odd, if you were being honest. You certainly hadn't expected such an up-beat woman to keep her living space like _this_. Jane noticed you staring and winced. 

"Sorry, it's not a lot I know." Before you could apologize for staring she was walking to the kitchen, setting the cookies on the counter. "I don't really stay here long, unless I have to." 

"Yeah, always at my flat" You said, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "It's not bad at all, if anything I'm happy. We've never come here before" 

"Well it just... doesn't feel like home in the way yours does I suppose." You froze, hands stiffening awkwardly. Did she really feel like your flat was home? Your heart wasn't sure why it was hurting so much, so it looked to your brain for an answer. _She likes staying with you_ , your brain answered excitedly. 

"Good thing you can come over anytime you like" You offered, hoping she couldn't sense the extent to which you were panicking. Thankfully her back was turned to you and she was grabbing what looked like wine out of her cupboard along with two glasses. 

"Did you already eat?" She asked. You told her yes, sitting down on the coach. It was slightly uncomfortable, and there was a small layer of dust on it that made you sniffle. She brought the two wine glasses over to the couch, frowning as she realized that the layer of dust was present. After an awkward laugh she brushed some of it off, taking a seat next to you. The two of you silently sipped your wine for a few minutes, staring off at different things. It was nice, if not a bit off feeling. She was right; this flat definitely didn't feel like a home. Maybe you could change that. 

"So... not much to do i'm afraid." You tried not to laugh at how nervous Jane seemed. She was right, though. Turning more towards her you offered: 

"We can talk" 

"About what?" 

"well, anything you want I suppose. Or I could come up with something I'm sure." 

"Maybe you could tell me how your day was." That brought a smile to your face. It was such a simple but sweet prompt, so you obliged. 

"Well... I dropped off the decorating I did for the dance, and the kids really liked it! It's an under the sea theme, so it was kind of simple, but apparently adding glitter to the fish fins really helps make them pop. " Even though you felt a little weird rambling on about fish, Jane was listening in like you were giving a TedTalk. She nodded, encouraging you to keep going. So you did, setting your wine glass down and relaxing into the couch more. "Then I taught a bit, obviously, which went well, we ate lunch, which also went well, and tomorrow looks like it's going to go well, especially if the teachers at the decorating after school like my work." 

"Lot better than yesterday, then?" You nodded. "good." 

She took a sip of her wine and you watched her carefully, biting back a smile. She was so caring, all the time. Not only with her small gestures and check-ins and _god,_ her adorable texts but also with how much she helped you. It was always her. Holding you in the kitchen until you felt better, cuddling with you, holding you in the closet until you felt better; it was _always_ her, and she was always _so_ brilliant. 

"Thank you" You found yourself whispering. She perked up at that. 

"You don't have to-" 

"no, I do" you protested. "Jane... ever since I met you you've been so kind to me. You're always helping me, always. Whenever I feel sad, or I doubt myself or if I even feel a little off. Thank you for that. " 

"You really don't have to thank me, Y/N. I'd do it over and over and over in a heartbeat, whenever you need." 

"Yeah?" 

"'course." The two of you were staring at one another again, and your hand tingled with the urge to hold hers again. It did twitch, actually, and the two of you looked down at it. Jane's hand twitched next, and then the two of you were both moving your respective hands forward, meeting in the middle. 

"I was a little sad we couldn't go out for dinner yesterday" Jane whispered. So were you. But, 

"There'll be other times. Practically see each other every day" You expected a chuckle or a nod, but Jane only sighed. 

"I didn't mean a normal dinner" You blinked, unable to perform any other function. Did your heart stop? you were sure it did. There was only one other type of dinner that she could possibly mention, the one that you'd thought about- _dreamed about_ for ages and oh god, was she really about to mention _that_ type of dinner? 

"h-how do you mean then?" 

"A _dinner_ dinner. Sorry, that didn't make sense did it? Quite classic, me messing up trying to ask you on a date. I blame the social awkwardness."

Holy shit. If you were still holding your wine glass, you were sure you would've spilled it. 

"wait- a date?" Finally, your eyes seemed to obey the commands of your mind, which was hurtling towards a supernova. They met hers, surprised to see that they were wide and panicked. 

"Oh no. " Oh no? what did she mean oh no?? "I - should I not have asked that? Y/N I am so, **so** sorry" 

"No, Jane-" Her hand left yours, and you reached for it back. She couldn't leave you! She could've think anything other than the fact that you loved her, so so much and all you wanted was that dinner and so much more. But she was still pulling away, like she didn't seem to understand that both of you wanted the same thing. (granted, you could've sobbed right then and there out of sheer happiness at the fact that she _actually_ felt the same way you did but this was not the time to cry in her arms ** _again_** ) 

"I just... I thought with all thats happened recently that maybe we were _finally_ getting to that point" 

"We were! We are!" She stopped sliding away from you, and you realized you had grabbed onto her in a desperate attempt to keep her right there, holding your hand. Your mouth opened and closed like a fish, unsure of what to say. Her face was just as tense, contorted into a play-doh mash up of fear and confusion. Then, her breath came out in a quick, shaky laugh. She quickly clamped her mouth shut, and you responded with your own nervous laugh, easing your grip on her arms. "Sorry. Sorry." 

"Don't apologize." 

"Okay, I won't" Silence again. If your hands weren't still on Jane's arms, you probably would've been smacking your head in an attempt to kick it back into gear. But the gears were frozen now, stuttering and straining against one another. 

"Dinner then?" Jane asked again. You could only nod in response, but Jane accepted it with an ecstatic smile, shoving your arms off so she could wrap you into a hug. "You don't know how relieved I am" 

_"You're_ relieved?" You breathed out, her arms squeezing every bit of air out of your lungs. "I've been waiting months for this." 

"No!?!" Jane cried, leaning back to look at you. You raised a brow, surprised she was doubting it. She laughed loudly this time, the noise echoing throughout the empty flat. "Why didn't you say anything? I could've asked this question _months_ ago!" 

"I was kind of nervous and- wait, did _you_ say months?" 

"Well yeah, months. I thought the flowers would've been obvious for sure" 

"You said you'd bought too many! " 

"No, that was a lie. I only bought as many as I thought you'd want and then.. well, you know the rest. Did you really think i'd just go out and buy a ton of flowers?"

"well... yes. You do do a lot of odd things." You answered frankly. She nodded, agreeing with your point. So... that hadn't been an a random act of friendship? the flowers had all been on purpose? So was the coffee, you assumed, and the drives to work and the lunches and all the times she was at your flat and _holy shit were you two the biggest idiots in the whole world and HOLY SHIT could this have all happened SO much sooner._ You could kiss her. You started to lean in, eyes falling shut. 

Then, a finger was placed against your lips. Your eyes opened, a hum cut short. Oh? Jane's eyes flickered away from yours, cheeks red. 

"Sorry, I do _really_ want to kiss you, more than anything, but- Well, it's a bit cheesy I suppose... i'd like to do things properly." 

"properly? Jane, you've already kissed me like, a million times." you whined against her finger. You'd finally gotten to this point and she wasn't going to dramatically capture your lips like you'd dreamed of? Well, you couldn't get everything you wanted. 

"I have?" 

"well, yeah, technically. On the forehead, the temple, the back of my hand-" 

"okay, well, that wasn't _kissing_ kissing" She stammered. She moved her finger and sat up, pulling you up with her. "Sorry if that doesn't make sense, I can't really think right now." 

"You think _I_ can?" The two of you shared another dry laugh. Every molecule in your body buzzed with a chemical cocktail of emotions that nearly knocked you out. You didn't know how you were still breathing, honestly. The woman you loved had just asked you on a _date_. And while you'd always suspected and hoped that she felt that way about you, hearing it out of her mouth was an entirely different, out-of-this-world experience. She squeezed your hand, as if to tell you that she, too, was trying to process it all. And thats how the two of you spent the rest of your night, holding on to each other, silently accepting the giant leap you'd taken together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have no idea how long i've been waiting to post this chapter and it's not een THE chapter hhhh.. I hope you enjoy, I feel like I didn't write it as good as I imagined so if you have any feedback feel free! I'm going to be busy writing the next couple of chapters so be patient for more kqjndkwnqkdnkqwnkqwnkqnd no tthat you guys aren't already the bestest readers ever whom i love and cherish. okay im officially too nervous byeeeeeeeeeee


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to deliver the news of a life time to your friend Ryan, who is missing from Yaz and Grahams important discussion. Oh, and who is that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was like "ahhh don't post this until you've got chapter 13 written" but then I got excited and when I get excited I get irresponsible. Haha. Whoops. Also I couldn't help but include *that* line which haunted us throughout season 12.

(your POV)  
  
There wasn't a thing in the world that could stop you or slow you down. You practically pranced into Coal Hill, feet carried by excitement and a brand new form of sheer joy that you'd never felt before. No whispers or assignments or problems could penetrate the bubble that had encased you for the past 12 hours. There was practically a song in your head, pushing you along towards your classroom. You threw the door open, smile stretching to your ears.  
  
"Morning" Ryan grumbled. He was staring down at his phone, which was beeping and screaming occasionally from the mobile game he had become obsessed with as of late. You bounded over to him and waved your hand over the screen, breaking his intense focus. "Come on, what's that for?"  
  
"I have something to tell youuuu!" you whined. He raised a brow and waited for you to continue, still smashing his thumbs against the screen. You waved your hand again and he groaned as his avatar died and the words _Respawn?_ Flashed. "You might want to take a seat."  
  
"I am sitting?"  
  
"Okay well, keep sitting then because _everything is changed_ " The dramatics were a side effect of your mood, and you couldn’t supress them no matter how hard you tried. It felt nice, though, to be so overflowing with hapiness that you couldn’t contain yourself. 

"Yeah?" he seemed to perk up, like he was expecting you to have come and tell him something in such an odd fashion. 

"YEAH!" His eyes widened at your yell and you quickly shut the door, not wanting any pesky students to overhear or interrupt your conversation.  
  
"Okay, can I come right out and assume this has to do with the doc- Jane?" You giggled, nodding. Your hands began to tremble as you tried to speak properly.  
  
"So, I went over to her flat"  
  
"okay"  
  
"And we were talking and everything."  
  
"okay"  
  
"And she kind of sort of... asked me on a date?"  
  
"okay.” he responded again. Then his eyes widened as he absorbed your words and he gasped: “WAIT!"  
  
"YEAH! YEAH I KNOW!" You cried. Ryan jumped up out of his seat, cracking a smile.  
  
"A _date_ date?"  
  
"YEAH! A **_DATE_ **DATE" You couldn't control the volume of your voice; the bubble of excitement and joy was cracking from all the pressure, ready to pop and leak all over the place. Another giggle pushed past your lips and not even your hand slapping against your mouth could contain it. Soon you were practically doubling over, barely absorbing what he was saying to you. Splinters of it were heard, congratulating you and then, finally, asking 'When?'  
  
"Tonight! We were going to wait but we decided since we've already liked each other months-"  
  
"oh my _god_ " Ryan groaned. it was a groan filled with annoyance, one seemingly aged over time. You raised a brow, wondering if he was tired of the topic of conversation already. 

"What?"  
  
"Nothing," He grumbled, palm lighting hitting his face. "Keep going"  
  
"Alright, then. Anyway we were going to wait but we've got the dance and everything tomorrow and I agreed to chaperone, so she's picking me up tonight and taking me somewhere. I don't know where, but I suppose that makes it more exciting, doesn't it?"

“Are you supposed to dress up fancy and everything?” 

You thought for a moment, then felt a breif twinge of panic. “Oh. I don’t know actually. Is that bad? Should I buy something just in case?” 

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Ryan said, gesturing behind you. You turned and saw Jane peeking in the door way with a coy smile. 

“Sorry. Don’t mean to interrupt anything, but I got us those coffees” She awkwardly shoved her arm through the part she'd created in the doorway, holding a tray of cups out towards you. 

“Oh!” You gasped. “Thanks so much.” You crossed the room and accepted the medium-sized cup, wondering if she’d finally gotten your order right. Wouldn’t that be a miracle. You lifted the cup to your face only to bring it down again in order to avoid a collision with Janes; she was giving you a kiss on the cheek. Despite her only kissing one cheek, both ignited in a furious blush that was only stoked by Ryans loud whistle. Jane laughed lightly at your surprised expression and stepped back. 

“You can wear whatever you’d like. I’ll love it either way” Before you could respond she was out the door, leaving you to turn back to Ryan with a hot face and a mouth open in a silent ‘O’ 

“that was proper flirting right there” he pointed out. 

“She’s gonna kill me Ryan. I actually think she’s going to kill me. In a good way.” He shook his head and sighed, plugging his phone in to a charger. 

“I’m happy, honest. If you want some pointers or someone to help you get ready, I have _literally_ nothing going on.” 

“Really, you’d do that?” 

“‘Course. Always down to help out my mates. What time is she picking you up?” 

“6pm, on the dot. Though, she could be early or late by roughly 20 minutes so it could also be 5:40 or 6:20” 

“Right…..” Ryan trailed. “Sounds good. I’ll be at your apartment by 4, yeah? And I’ll help you out.” 

“Do you need the address?” 

“No-” He began. When he saw your eyebrow raise, he cleared his throat. “I mean, yeah, yeah, of course I need the address. Why wouldn’t I?” 

You reached for your massive pile of sticky notes and wrote the address down on one, making sure to write the three possible pick-up times as well. “There you go, Mr. Sinclair.” You said, sticking it to his shoulder. “Thank you, it means the world to me.” 

“Anytime. Are you two, like, dating now? officially?” 

“We haven’t talked about that yet… do you think she’ll ask me that tonight, if I want to be her girlfriend?” 

“I’d be suprised if she didn’t” 

Your smile only grew at the idea of being able to officially call Jane your girlfriend. The day had started out so wonderfully, just as you predicted the previous night. Whereas before everything felt oddly empty, the pieces seemed to falling into place and filling any incomplete gaps. The day would surely only continue to be wonderful, with a good friend by your side to help you prepare for the best (and only, according to your glitchy memory) date ever. As students began to fill the classroom you took a sip of your cofee.

She’d ordered it perfectly. 

* * *

(Yaz's POV)

Yaz hadn’t entered the school yet. She was parked a little ways away from the building, waiting for Graham to arrive. Minutes ago she’d called in to tell the office that she would be half an hour late due to ‘unexpected car issues’ Luckily as a teachers aide, she had a bit more leeway when it came to attendence expectations. A knock on her window prompted her to click the unlock button, letting Graham settle in the passenger seat. 

“Morning, Yaz, hows things?” 

“Not good. Ryan said you saw something suspicious last night?” Graham nodded. 

“Not sure if it’s related, but I think it’s safe to say that Headmaster bloke is up to no good. Do you remeber Leo Jones? His mum was at the school last night talking to him. When I got done with my rounds, her car was still there, but she wasn’t.” 

“And the office was closed?” 

“All closed, yeah. Not a light on in the place. I’ve been thinking. We have a couple of those trackers, not just one right?” Yaz nodded, fishing in her back pocket to pull the unused device out into the open. “Well, I know there was a _group_ of the aliens we were hunting but theoreticlly, we’d only need to track one of them right? If they’re all mates.” 

“I suppose,” Yaz agreed. “You want to use one on the headmaster? It doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere, though.” 

“But imagine, we go in, we confront him, things might get a bit frisky. We don’t want him runnin’ off, do we? Then we’d have two problems and zero timelords to solve them with.” 

“Speaking of that” Yaz spoke up. “Don’t you suppose the aliens would’ve done something by now? All the other places where we ran into the bodies, they were fresh. All the witness’ said that they’d been there days _minimum_. Why are they taking so long this time?” 

“Do you think they’ve run off already? Maybe the Doctor didn’t conceal things right?” The very idea of that reality made Yaz’s blood curl. The last nail in her coffin would be placed immediately if it turned out that the past months had been for nothing.

“No. Can’t have been.” Although the words left her mouth, she wasn’t sure if she really meant them. Graham did have a point; it was just one she wasn’t particularly keen on accepting. 

“Maybe they’re settling down?” Now _that_ idea made Yaz perk up. She ran her thumb along the tracker, letting the idea settle in her head so she could explore it further. Even before the sudden concealment, Yaz had been confused about the groups motives. Granted, it was hard to get inside the mind of _any_ serial killer, but after being thrust into a world of space and aliens, Yaz had been working on opening her mind to all sorts of impossible things. Could they have been looking for a home all this time? The explaination failed to justify the killilng, however, so she countered it: 

“They could be. But why Earth? The other planets we visited were much better. Better technology, societies, governments, ecosystems, all of it. Why Earth?” 

“Couldn’t tell you. Listen, though, Yaz, I’m getting the feeling that this’ll be over soon” Before Yaz could protest, he put his hand up to stop her. “None of that, alright? I know I’ve said that to you a lot to help things along, but I mean it this time. This Headmaster is mean business and he could open the door to a lot more. We need to be careful.” 

“We need to open the fob watches.” 

Graham blinked. “I’m not sure-”

“Well I am. Somethngs going on and we might not have the power to stop it alone. At this rate, we could be stuck here for months more before we see any other sign of those things. We need Y/N and the Doctors help. It’s time.” 

They spent the next few minutes pondering over a few different possible plans until they were sure they’d had a good idea of how they were going to proceed. The next step was to find Ryan and fill him in on everything. 

The entire way to Jane’s classroom, Yaz considered the possible locations of her fob watch. The Doctor hadn’t given it to the fam and neither had Y/N, a move that had angered her for quite a while. She supposed it would most likely be at Jane's flat, but she would have to thoroughly search her classroom before she tried the breaking-and-entering approach. To speak of the timelord, she was hunched over her desk, hands moving at a million miles an hour, combing through all of her drawers and piles. Instantly, Yaz’s mind, already focussed on the fob watch, screamed out of panic. _She couldn’t have-?_

“What are you looking for?” She demanded to know, voice raising. Jane huffed and grabbed a stack of papers, throwing them into the garbage without even checking to see what they were. Most likely, they were more ungraded assingments that should’ve been delivered to Yaz. “JANE!”

“Not now, Yaz!” Janes own voice was panicked, and sharper than a knife. It reminded Yaz of the few times she’d been scolded by the Doctor, a connection that might’ve been nice if it was in any other context at any other time. 

“ _Yes, now,_ ” she practically growled. “What are you looking for thats so important?” 

“A journal!” Jane exclaimed. Yaz’s shoulders fell out of relief that it wasn’t the fob watch that Jane had misplaced. Journals were meaningless practically; all her and Y/N’s earthy belongings were, considering they’d be left behind when they returned to their normal selves. 

“Well, alright,” Yaz said a little softer. “No need to get so worked up about a book” 

“it is _NOT_ a book” Jane spat. Yaz took a step back, alarmed at Jane’s venomous tone. She held her hands up in surrender, watching her friend slam all the drawers shut and groan, putting her head in her hands. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine” Jane whined. “It was just important to me, that’s all.” 

Fake identity and mind wipe or not, it still hurt Yaz to see her friend in such a rough position. They had a few minutes before class began, too. “I could help you look for it, if you’d like?” She offered. 

“That’d be nice, yeah. Thanks Yaz “ Jane said with a tight smile, mood slowly lifting. “100 points on account of being a good friend” 

Because the former timelord began to re-organize everything she’d thrown around, she couldn’t notice the way Yaz tensed. And because Yaz was too busy carrying out her false job and helping her altered friend, she was completely oblivious to the fact that her and Jane’s attempts to find the journal were futile; it was already in the hands of another. 

* * *

(MULTIPLE POVs)

They were unsure if the Headmaster would allow them to read the contents of the mysterious journal they’d stolen from Jane Smiths classroom. It wasn’t their place to ask. In fact, it wasn’t their place to _speak_ without his permission. So instead they stood on the sidelines, watching him flip through the pages. With each one his grin grew, until he got halfway through and he threw the book aside. 

“You’ve all done good. Very good, in fact. I’m glad I made the decision to keep your group by my side." 

They all worked together to bow slightly, not wanting to respond unless prompted to do so. The same question was on all of their minds, though: Were they going to leave, now that they had discovered the timelord's so close to them? As if the Headmaster could read their minds, he patted their shoulder comfortingly. 

“We’re not going to leave just yet. Why would we, when we’ve settled so nicely? In fact, I think this situation could turn to our favor. Is Ms. Smith on the list of chaperones for the dance?” 

They breifly exited the office to access the fiiles they kept at their desk, labeled “Secretary Mellona” To the right was a pile dedicated to the humans' 'dance'. Nerves buzzing about keeping their headmaster waiting, they quickly found the chaperone list, scanning over the names. 

“No, Headmaster, but Ms. L/N is. “ They spoke the words quickly, not wanting to abuse the privelege of speech, although a few stray voices carried on dragging the sentence’s end so it trailed off in a quiet whimper. 

“Then allow me to make a few necessary arrangements. Prepare the feast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh carp the plot is kicking up! Also i keep saying "give me a bit before I post more" but truthfully this whole worldwide sitatuion makes me anxious and writing is the only way to stop it *dabs*


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's date time, gays!

The hot water and steam from the shower did nothing to calm your nerves that evening. Ryan was due to arrive in 15 minutes and all you’d done since you’d gotten home from work was scrub and wash your face over and over again, worried it wouldn’t be enough. There was a pile of makeup littering your bathroom sink that you knew would be counter-productive to the face washing, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to look your best for Jane. 

Wearing a random set of pajamas so you weren’t naked for your colleagues arrival, you started to boil water so the two of you could have tea. Everything was top-notch clean in your flat once again, so you had time to kill before he showed up. You’d already washed, shaved, combed out your hair, and picked out at least 3 perfume options. Left with nothing else to do, you turned on the tv while you waited. 

Only five minutes later, Ryan was knocking on the door to your flat. You jumped off the couch, practically running to the door. When you opened it he was smiling, giving you a nod. "Have you got outfit options picked out yet?" 

You withered as he walked inside, kicking his shoes off. "No... I thought maybe you would pick them out. But, I suppose, I could throw a few together and you can tell me if they're good or not?" 

"Yeahhh that's probably the best option. Not really well equipped in the womens clothes department." 

As he settled down on the couch you sprinted to your room, throwing the closet doors open. There were too many options, and you'd hoped Ryan would've been able to comb through them and narrow the selection down. Your phone was laying on your bedside table; you quickly snatched it up, typing in 'How to pick an outfit for a date'. Comfort, confidence, and location were all things you needed to consider, according to the first article you clicked. According to the contents of your closet, comfort would not be an issue, and you were sure you could scrape together a bit of confidence for your favorite person. The location of the date, however, was still shrouded in mystery, which made the selection process difficult. 

Should you dress for the outdoors, with leggings and thick fabrics? Or should you dress in a thin, fancy dress? Ryan called from the living room to make sure you were alive and you shouted out confirmation that you were, in fact, alive, and then started pulling your favorite selections out from the closet. When you were sure you'd narrowed down the selection to 5 theme-neutral outfits, you called him in the room. 

"Alright, I'm going to try all of these on, and you'll be out there, and then you tell me if it looks good or not, is that alright?" 

"Yeah, got it," he acknowledged with two thumbs up. When he left again you began to put on the first option. 

20 minutes and a lot of grumbling about whether certain colors or patterns fit together, you had found the perfect outfit. Every piece involved gave you a mix of comfort and confidence, while also bringing something new to the table. 

"Jane'll love it." Ryan assured you as you looked over the outfit in the mirror. 

"You think?" 

"Course, mate. Now, it's time for some pointers." 

* * *

"And you've got to play with your hair a lot, to draw attention to it-"

Ryan's pointers were _awful._ Despite him protesting otherwise, you were certain he'd never been with a woman properly in his lifetime. When the clock struck 5:45 he was still going on and your nerves kicked into high gear. Somehow, not having a specific time frame for Jane's arrival made the wait much worse. It meant 20 more minutes more that your heart would be thumping out of your chest, not knowing if or when she would show. Surprisingly, at 6:00pm exactly, a car pulled into the driveway. It was odd, how after all this time, you could easily recognize the sound of Jane's tires. 

"You ready?" Ryan asked. He helped you stand from the couch. 

"One more lookover?" You requested. He sighed and stood behind you, hands placed on your shoulders to push you towards the door. "Oh come on, I know i'm being ridiculous, but I can't help it! Pleaseeeee?" 

Your whining stopped when you found yourself in front of the door. One twist of a knob and you would be heading on your date with the love of your life. Ryan was staring at you expectantly, waiting for you to turn the knob yourself. When you raised your hand and it shook slightly, he reached forward and turned it for you. He pulled the door open slowly, and your eyes immediately began searching for Jane. They didn’t have to search long; She was standing by her car. Your jaw dropped as you took in her appearance. 

Her hair had been volumized and brushed back, fluffing it out from the top. Her suit was plaid expanse of grey and navy blue, combined with a matching pair of slacks and a green and yellow checked shirt. Somehow, the ensemble was mismatched and matched perfectly simultaneously. Only she could pull of such a feat. When you met her eyes you found that they were looking you over in return, a small smile growing on her face. 

“Beautiful.” She gasped. The sentiment made your brain swim, glad that you and Ryan's efforts had been successful. Her appreciation was everything you craved and yearned for and here she was, dishing it out to you like it was your birthday. 

“Just have her back by 10, yeah?” Ryan joked from beside you. Trance broken, you lightly hit him on the arm which made him laugh, “You kids have fun” 

“We will,” you laughed. “Go home. Oh, and thank you, again.” Ryan nodded and gave you and Jane two thumbs up, walking past her to his own car and stating it up. You waited until he peeled out of the driveway to begin stepping towards Jane's car, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach jolting with every footfall. 

“I mean it, Y.N. Absolutely stunning.” Jane pressed. She walked around the car to the passenger side, pulling the door open for you. You sat down, making sure to smooth any apparent wrinkles in your clothing. Jane was being a real gentleman, smile never faltering even as she shut the door and got into the driver's side. You’d been inside of her car before, and she’d driven you places. But, similar to everything else, it was different now. 

“I’ve been waiting for this all day” She mumbled as she pulled out of the driveway. You winced as she leaned into the other lane slightly. Her driving was always a little iffy, but now she seemed to be holding the wheel a little shakily. 

“Same,” You said, trying to push aside any pesky criticisms of her driving skills. “So… do I have to wait until we arrive to find out the place we’re eating or can you tell me now?” 

Jane worried her lip between her teeth as she thought. “Hm… I could tell you. Probably shouldn’t, though. No, definitely shouldn’t. Don’t want to ruin the suprise!” 

You could exactly be disapointed; the continued enigma added an element of excitement to a date that had already beat everything else preceding it. Jane’s left hand left the steering wheel to brush against your arm, and soon you were lifting you hand up so your fingers could tangle together. You lightly ran your thumb over her knuckles, wondering how she would react if you placed a kiss on the back of her hand. She’d kissed you so many times; it was only right that you returned the favor. 

Her eyes were on the road, but they quickly darted towards you out of curiosity as you raised your conjoined hands to your mouth, placing a quick kiss against the back of hers. She let out a surprised squeak, accelerating a little fast. 

“Was that okay?” After she began driving normally and your hands were back in a resting position, she responded: 

“Yeah, brilliant. Just surprised. In a good way.” The good response prompted your brain to loop back to the previous night, in which you’d come so close to kissing Jane on the lips. For the 10 minute drive to the restaurant it was all you thought about, wondering if there was a possibility of finally getting that kiss tonight. She’d said she wanted to 'do things properly’ did she mean like in the movies? In the movies, the guy always kissed the girl after the first date. You hoped that was the ‘proper ideal’ she was adhering to. 

Every few minutes, Jane would assure you ‘almost there’ until you were pulling into the lot for the restaurant. Your eyes widened; you’d never been inside, but it had a reputation for being wonderfully up-scale. Jane carefully watched your reaction as she found a parking place, so you made sure to smile so she knew you were satisfied. (Truthfully, she could’ve brought you to a mcdonalds and you would’ve thought it was the single most romantic act in the history of humanity) 

“Here, I’ll get the door for you” She offered. Once again, she made her way to the passenger side and did just as she offered, and you shivered at the slight wind that greeted you. “Are you cold?” She asked next, unbuttoning her blazer. 

“No, no, it’s fine” You giggled. “Thanks though.” 

She nodded and held her hand out, helping you to your feet. “I haven’t eaten at this place yet, but out of every restaurant in town it has the highest review average. Oh, and the most diverse menu according to food groups, food sources, _and_ country of origin” 

Her geekiness was always adorable, another layer on top of “perfect” so you weren't surprised she'd researched every restaurant in town. Your awe only grew as she opened the door to let you inside the restaurant. Its reputation was certainly upheld by the interior. A light orchestral tune reached your ears, adding to the warm light that bathed the two of you and the rest of the occupants. Jane gave the hostess her last name for the reservation and, still holding your hand, led you along with them to your table. She’d picked a table in the corner of the room, one that was far away from any others. 

“Can I interest the two of you in some wine?” The Hostess asked. Jane gave you a moment to look over the wine list and then gave your request, and the Hostess left with a smile. Jane was scanning over the table, brow furrowing.

“That's… that’s a lot of forks, that is." Your own eyes moved down towards the table, realizing she was right. There were at least four forks on the table, two spoons, and two knives. “What do you even need more than one fork for? or a spoon? If you ordered soup, I suppose, but they really could wrap this up with a spork and a knife or- am I rambling?” 

You took a sip of your water to hide your amused smile.

“Sorry. Bit nervous. Just want to make sure everythings good.” 

“Everythings perfect,” You reassured her. Despite your reassurance, though, she kept looking around the restaurant, checking over the other tables, the patrons, the decor, every little thing inside. You were sure that, had you not sparked up a conversation, she would’ve leapt up from her seat and started looking over things with a magnifying glass. 

“Thank you for bringing me here, Jane. I’m so glad we’re finally going out.” 

“OH you have no idea how glad _I_ am! I kept thinking, these past few weeks, when the right time would be to ask.” 

“Well, to be fair, you had plenty of opportunity” You pointed out, recalling all the times you two had eaten lunch, spent the night, and held each other. 

“So did you” She returned. Your cheeks heated up at the call out, knowing she was right. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that to be rude. At all. It’s just- well, wow I’m a bit of a mess aren’t I?” she fumbled, reaching for her water only to drop her hand back under the table. She was nervous. Very nervous. About a thousand times more nervous then you were, something that selfishly helped you relax more. 

“No, you’re perfect Jane. I think we’re both a little nervous.” 

“Have the two of you looked at the menu yet?” A waiter asked, approaching the table to pour your wine. With a hint of embarrassment you realized the two of you hadn’t even realized the menus were there, and you quickly picked it up to find something to order. 

“We’ll need a bit more time, thanks” Jane said, coming to your rescue. When the waiter nodded and headed to his next table, she leaned in and said, “Feel free to order anything you’d like. My treat” 

Despite her spoiling you, you still picked a relatively cheap item on the menu, not wanting to take advantage of her kindness or seem rude in any way. Jane gave the waiter your orders the next time he came around, and then the two of you were left alone to converse while you waited for the food to arrive. Jane still seemed on edge, and you felt the urge to cure her of all negativity present. To satisfy the urge, you cut straight to the chase. 

“You know, this is all wonderful, right? You picking me up, your outfit, this, it really is.” Jane grinned, pushing all her unnecessary silverware to the side. “Truthfully, I would’ve been fine with any sort of date you could’ve come up with, as long as it was with you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“I was thinking of a few different options, like a picnic or a walk or the movies, but I don’t like movies much and it’s a bit windy out.” 

“I wouldn’t have minded” 

“No? well then, maybe we'll go for a walk after this. I like having all these options now. Rather exciting... doesn't feel real, almost.” 

“No, it doesn’t" You agreed "I’m just super happy that it is. And I’m happy we went on this date so quickly, I don’t think I could’ve waited much longer with the dance and all.” 

“Do you want me to come with you, to the dance? I’m not supposed to supervise or anything but I don’t have anything else to do” There was a look in her eye that told you if she didn't tag along she would be alone, in that flat, and obviously you couldn’t have that. 

“It sounds like you’re asking me to the dance,” You said teasingly. “Of course you can come with. I might be busy, though, watching the kids and all” 

“That’s alright. I’m good with kids too, in case they end up thinking i’m on the job” 

The conversation paused as the waiter set down your food, your stomach praising the sudden arrival. Jane had ordered a pasta dish, waiting for you to try your food before she ate. You brought the food to your mouth, humming in content. It was delicious. Jane finally began to eat herself and the two of you stayed silent for a few minutes so you could quiet the rumbling of your stomachs before any further attempt at conversation was made. Then, as soon as the first words were spoken, the plug was pulled and the two of you couldn't stop yourselves. The dinner lasted all of two hours, most of which was spent loudly laughing and talking while the restuarant gave you annoyed glares. 

“Don’t mind them” Jane whispered after the waiter asked the two of you to quiet down. “The most important thing in life is that you’re having fun. “ And you _were_ having fun; the most fun you’d ever had in your entire life. Finally, when the two of you noticed the restaurants queue filling up, you took your leave, Jane leaving a hefty tip for the waiter that had to put up with your noise. 

The night air was even cooler than it was when you’d entered the restaurant, and the sky had grown quite dark. Before you passed the threshold of the door, Jane was shrugging off her blazer, handing it to you. You slipped it over your shoulders, sighing at the warmth that ensconced you. It smelled just like her, too, which was an added bonus. Without the blazer, she stood in her tight dotted shirt, loosening the button around her neck. It was a sight more beautiful than the stars now glowing above you. 

There was another quick 5 minute car drive to a park that Jane had discovered long ago. Due to the night hours it was empty, the leaves of the trees trembling in the wind. As the two of you strolled down the paved sidewalk, your linked hands swung along in time with your footsteps.

“I don’t really want the night to end,” Jane admitted. “Would you be alright with a second date sometime?” 

“I'm surprised you think you have to ask” She grinned with a small laugh, then pointed to a bench a few feet away.

“Do you want to sit for a bit?” The two of you sat down, leaning back and relaxing into the wood. Your head was tilted upwards, your eyes filled with the never-ending expanse of the midnight sky.

“I love them,” Jane whispered. You rested your head against Jane's shoulder, humming in agreement as she slung her arm over your shoulder. “I wonder what it would be like to explore them” 

“Like in our dreams?” 

“Yeah, like in our dreams. You and me, exploring the stars. Wouldn’t that be nice?” 

“Yeah,” You agreed. “It’d be the best.” 

* * *

“So… back at mine.” You chuckled nervously. From the moment Jane's car pulled into your driveway you were a bundle of disappointment, unsure of how the time had flown so fast. There were ways to keep the night going, but you weren't sure if they should be utilized. Jane had been over to your flat hundreds of times, but it felt different now. In addition, there was the implication of inviting someone in after a date that you had to deal with. 

“Back at yours” She murmured. She glanced back at her car and frowned. Your heart lurched. You couldn’t just let her go back to her flat. Not after she’d flat out told you it wasn’t home; not after feeling how empty it was. 

“Jane-” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Oh god. Oh fuck. Oh fucking god. Here it was. 

"Yes!" Came your all-too-quick response. There was nothing you wanted more. You stared into her eyes, which were much more closer than they had been previously. _It was happening._

“I’m gonna kiss you now then.” 

“Okay, coo-” Your words are muffled as her soft lips press against yours, silencing any and all thoughts not centered around the texture and warmth of them. Your hands landed on her shoulders, fingers clutching onto her returned blazer, trying to ground yourself. Her hands slid up to cup your cheeks, humming softly. _Oh god, that was cute, wasn’t it?_ So, you thought, was the way that she moved away from your lips to press a few kisses to your cheeks and finally, your nose. Each one packed a ring-bearing punch of affection.

Jane leaned back, laughing breathlessly. Your lips ached from missing hers, and you whimpered sadly. "I know we agreed that we've wanted to do that for months, but it feels like an eternity." Her words unraveled you piece by piece, leaving only the deepest, truest form of yourself to melt in her hands. You wanted her lips again. You _needed_ her lips again, so you could keep existing in that pure, shining form only she could access. 

“Well, I guess we should make up for lost time then” Realizing how bold your words were, your eyes widened. “Or something” 

Jane’s eyes landed back on your lips, her tongue darting out to brush against her own. Being reduced to your true form meant neither of you could hide your already partly revealed feelings; The strongest waves of love, desire, and appreciation were laid bare for both of you to witness. “Yeah. Or something” 

There was no hesitation as your lips met again. Or for the second time. Or the third time. or the fourth, fifth sixt-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never ever ever been on a date so I'm kinda just going off of what happens on dates in movies and tv... haha... hehe... yeah. So I hope this was good, I'm very happy that we reached this point! It's gonna get... a little wild after this, so consider this the calm before the storm hahah. hehe. Also I hope this was good and lived up to the hype.... Alright I'm done rambling byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So that's where the fobwatches are.

(Ryans POV) 

At the very least, your flat was clean. That made it much easier for Ryan to comb through everything in search of the silver fob watch. He'd already finished the living room, kitchen, and bathroom, yielding no results. When he reached your bedroom door he paused, frowning. Sure, he'd already broken several moral and friendship codes, but someone's bedroom was another story. He felt the knob in his hand, trying to brace himself. _It has to be done,_ he told himself. _She won't know. Or, yes she will, because she'll know I took it._

A _ding_ from his phone shook him out of his misery. 

**Yaz: Have you found anything yet?**

**Ryan: Still looking, you?**

Yaz was stationed at Jane's flat with the same objective as Ryan. Graham was fishing around at the school, a task easy for him considering he was already there per his job. He was radio silent. 

**Yaz: No. Not much here, it's weird. I always pictured the Doctor as a hoarder.**

That made Ryan laugh, and he was finally able to push your door open. Everything was kept neatly, and there wasn't much visible on top of your shelves and dressers. Unfortunately, if he wanted to find the fob watch, he'd have to do a deeper search. He made quick work of it, glad that he knew of the shape and appearance of the watch so he didn't have to linger on your other belongings. Finally, he had to pull open the doors to your closet. There was a small assortment of clothes, but he was particularly interested in the shelf above them all. There were a few boxes stacked on top of each other and one-by-one he started to pull them down. 

The first three were shoe boxes, the fourth was full of assorted jewelry, and bingo! the fifth was alive, he could feel it. Ryan carefully lifted the lid off, gasping as the whispers began to sound. Although he couldn't make out what they were saying, he knew it was you in there- the _real_ you, waiting to be reunited with the rest of yourself. The circular gallifreyan decorating the outside of the watch glowed with a soft orange, lighting up the room more. He lifted his phone to call Yaz, only to find that she was calling him at the same time. 

"Hey" 

"Hey, I can't find Jane's watch. I've looked everywhere, through everything. Is there a chance Y/N has it?" 

"No, I've just found hers and there's no other watches here." Yaz sighed. 

"And you made sure to check everything, right?" 

"Everything, promise." 

"Alright then," He could hear the clicking of a lock as Yaz left Jane's apartment. "We'll have to go to the school I think, 'cause Graham hasn't contacted me. Meet me there?" 

"Yeah, sure. Be there in a mo'" 

* * *

Ryan slammed his car door shut, earning a glare from Yaz. "Do you know what sneaky means?" 

He groaned and shrugged his coat on, trying to shake off his nerves. Schools were always the creepiest at night, when everyone was gone. There was also part of him that was worried that everyone _wouldn't_ be gone, too. 

"Kind of convenient that they were both gone at the same time," Yaz commented as they walked up the main stairs to the schools entrance. "Wonder where they are" 

"On a date" Ryan said. His step skipped slightly as he realized that that was very much _not_ normal information that he had let slip. Yaz stopped entirely. 

"Are you serious?" 

"Dead serious" Ryan said with a wince. Yaz's mouth opened, then shut. She shook her head and kept walking, and Ryan, although surprised, was happy she didn't spark up an argument. Instead she pulled out her phone, texting his Grandad so he could let them in. 

"So... they're a thing now then?" Yaz asked, leaning against the door as they waited. Ryan stuck his hands in his pockets to protect them against the wind, nodding. "Good, I suppose. Wonder if it'll stick." 

Before Ryan could respond, there was a knock on the other side of the door, letting Yaz know to move back. She did and Graham pushed the doors open, looking around behind them. 

"Hey you two. Listen, far as I know, we've got the place to ourselves besides the two other janitors, but still be on the lookout. I've been looking in the Doc's class for a while now, but it's not exactly an easy search with all the junk she's got in there" Yaz nodded in understanding and shut the door as soon as Ryan made his way inside, gulping nervously at the dark shadows covering the lockers and doors. 

"Let's just get to her class quickly, yeah?" 

"Scared?" Yaz teased. Graham shot them both a look and they smiled at each other as he led them towards the classroom. No one else was roaming the halls, so the three of them were able to relax slightly. "Can't you stop it from making so much noise?" 

Ryan frowned, then realized Yaz was talking about the fob watch. "Oh, you can hear it too?" 

"We can all hear it," Graham pointed out. "I just figured it was normal so I didn't say anything." 

"Ohh. Well, I'm not sure how to keep it quiet. It's like I touched it and it got all excited." 

"Do you think Y/N is like, alive in there? like maybe the timelord part of her is in there thinking and talking and all?" Yaz asked as Graham unlocked the door to Jane's classroom. Ryan considered the possibility. Was that the cause of the whispers he'd been hearing? Were you really trapped in there, conscious of every moment you were? It made him shudder. It certainly _seemed_ like you were present to some extent. Otherwise, what consciousness remained in your body, interacting with him and everyone else? 

"So, I've already looked through all those cupboards over there," Graham said. "Yaz, I figured you'd know this place better than the two of us. Where else should we look?" 

"I'll take the desk, Ryan you look through the closet in the back, Graham you keep looking through the cupboards around the room. Ryan nodded and headed to his determined destination, pulling the door open. After a few seconds of flailing his arm around, his fingers closed around a string that, when he pulled on it, illuminated the small room. He jumped as the light highlighted a particularly creepy poster of the human anatomy. 

"Creepy, man" He mumbled, eyes scanning the shelves. It was a cluster of discarded books and other materials. The hairs on the back of Ryan's neck stood up as he heard an odd noise in the corner of the closet. It didn't sound like the whispers that surrounded Y/N's fob watch. He moved some of the old textbooks to the other side of the closet, straining his ears. There was a small vent in the corner. Ryan lowered himself to his knees, trying to get a good look inside. tThe flashlight on his phone didn't help; it didn't seem like there was anything in there. The only thing he could find was the odd buzzing noise getting louder. 

"FOUND IT!" He heard Yaz shout. Shaking himself out of his concentration, Ryan got to his feet and turned off the light, leaving the closet alone. Yaz stood behind Jane's desk, arm raised as she proudly held up the fob watch. "Bottom of the graded papers, my god! No wonder nobody's found or heard it!" 

Graham laughed as he put the books he was holding back into the cupboard, walking over to give Yaz a celebratory pat on the back. She was grinning, and Ryan couldn't help but reflect her reaction. He knew how excited she was to get home, and they now officially held the tickets to get them all back there. She held it up to her ear, raising a brow. 

"It's a lot quieter than Y/N's, wonder why?" 

"Maybe it's cause we just found it?" Graham suggested. She nodded and pocketed the watch, setting it next to the tracker. "Right then. Good job you two, I suggest we head home and deal with all the rest tomorrow." 

Ryan and Yaz both agreed, and Ryan held his hand out for a fist bump. Yaz and Graham returned it with smiles, making their way out of the classroom. For the first time in hours Ryan felt like everything was chill. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last. When they turned the corner, the Secretary was staring at them from 20 feet away, unmoving. 

"Oh, hey Ms. Mellona, these two just forgot some things, so I was letting them in" Graham explained with a nervous chuckle. the Secretary didn't blink, still staring. 

"We need those," She said. Ryan's nose wrinkled at her voice, which was gravelly and strained. "We need those" 

Yaz shot him a look out of the corner of his eye and he placed his hand in his jacket pocket, holding the pocket watch protectively. "We?" Yaz spoke up. "So it _is_ you and the headmaster then?" 

"We need those" 

"Well you're not getting them love!" Graham insisted. "Yaz, do you have the tracker?" She nodded and fished briefly in her back pocket, holding the device out. Ryan's heart pounded in his chest, his own fingers twitching as he willed Yaz to do something with the device. Her thumb landed on the side of it, pressing a button. Instead of one of the odd ball shapes shooting out towards the Secretary, it simply made a small clicking noise. Yaz stared at it, eyes wide. 

_"What?!?"_

"We need those," the Secretary insisted. 

"I don't care!" Yaz shouted. She hit the tracker against her palm, looking to Ryan and Graham for answers and finding none. 

"Right, well- it's three against one right now!" Ryan shouted, stepping in front of Yaz as she tried to get the tracker to work. "So... so don't try anything!" 

The secretary's head cocked to the right slightly, arm raised at an odd angle. The limb flapped in the air twice before dropping to her side like a dead weight. "Funny" She croaked. From the two hallways beside her, the other two janitors stepped into view, holding brooms. 

"Oh come _on_ " Graham whined. Ryan glanced at him, then to Yaz.

"I think it's time we go" When he turned back to the three humanoid figures, the two Janitors, faces completely slack, began to sprint towards them. "YEP. GO. ** _NOW_** " He cried. 

He tugged on Yaz's arm, which was pocketing the tracker, to drag her into a run with him and his grandad, feet pounding against the floor as they tried to outrun their chasers. Ryan could see, through the reflections in the windows ahead of them, that the two men were gaining ground behind them, despite their legs limping and arms waving around in the air. Yaz was still fumbling with the tracker, and Ryan realized it was slowing her down. 

"Split up!" He yelled, seeing another point where the different hallways intersected. "There's two of them chasing us right now, they can't get all three of us!" 

"Now they _know_ that we're splitting up!" Yaz yelled, but her voice was quieter as Ryan had already turned down a different hallway. From the .3 second look he'd spared behind him, so had Yaz and Graham. He could see one of the Janitors chasing Yaz still, and one had just turned the corner to come after him. Groaning nervously, Ryan put more effort into his steps, but it took an incredible amount of focus and he was starting to lose himself in the school's endless hallways. Before he turned around to find the source of the buzzing noise that began to ring through the air, Ryan made a quick request to whoever was out there for them to make sure Yaz and his grandad got out safely. 

* * *

(Yaz's POV) 

Yaz had never been more angry at a piece of technology in her life. As she sprinted down the hallway, she cursed at the object in her pocket, then at the man who was following her. Her mind began drawing on its previous knowledge and exploration of the school, determined to find an exit. She had no idea where Graham and Ryan were headed. All she could do was hope that they, too, could find an exit with ease. She took a left, then a right, then another left and- 

"Ah!" She jumped back with a scream as she collided with Graham, knocking them both onto the floor. She felt a sharp pain against her shoulder and realized she'd been whacked with a broom, turning over onto her back to kick upward at the janitor that had caught up with the both of them. Panic started to take control of her muscles, trying to remain on her back so that the janitor couldn't have access to the pocket watch or the tracker. Graham was getting to his knees, grabbing at the man to try and tug him off of Yaz. 

"Run, Graham!" She yelled. There was an unexpected amount of force suddenly hitting Yaz's form, and she realized the Janitor was sinking to the ground with her. She reached one hand out to press against the man's chest, trying to dodge his fists which were flying towards her face. Graham was still trying to pull the man off and she knew that it was unlikely both of them were going to get away. Her other hand slowly inched into her back pocket, grabbing the first object there and throwing it across the hall before she swung her fist into the janitors face. 

"Graham, grab it!" She didn't know whether or not she'd thrown the watch or the tracker, but both were important at this stage. Graham listened and sprinted towards the object as the Janitor stumbled back. Yaz's stomach dropped as she realized the man's face was sunken in where her fist had met it, slowly expanding back into a normal shape. She turned to Graham and yelled "Go find Ryan!" 

Then the Janitor was jumping back into action, both fists joining together and swinging in a downward arc towards her face. She yelped and rolled out from underneath him, trying to get back to her feet. A hand closed itself around her ankle and _tugged_ , sending her sprawling out onto the floor again. She tried to kick her foot out of the grip, but it was extremely tight, cutting off the circulation in her feet. Her eyes jumped to the janitors legs. Oddly enough, it seemed as though his legs were... deflating? She could hear Graham calling her name in the distance, but her attention was too hyper fixated on the curious sight before her. 

The skin of the hand clasped around her ankle seemed to be stretching, the hand getting bigger and the grip tightening. Red tugged at the edges of her eyes and in a moment of desperation, she used her other foot to swing at his knees. He quickly buckled and dropped her ankle in surprise and she kicked again at his face, hearing what sounded like hundreds of small shrieks leaving his mouth. Not wanting to find out the true source she pushed herself up, using a water fountain to pull herself into an awkward standing position. As she tried to get sensation back in her foot, she watched the man's skin ripple and begin to settle back into a normal form. 

She didn't want to stick around for him to get ready to fight again. She used the wall to support herself and broke out into a half sprint, wincing at the limp she'd gained in the tussle. There was more commotion behind her and she pushed herself harder, hoping Ryan and Graham were alright. She didn't stop until she was in her car, locking the door. With trembling hands she started the ignition, waiting for Ryan and Graham to come out of the school. 

5 minutes past. 10 minutes. Then 15 and there were tears threatening to spill, her legs bouncing furiously. _Where were they?_ She could feel herself giving in to the fear, breath quickening and chest tightening. Then, suddenly, a warm presence washed over her. She put her twitchy hands to use and pulled the Doctor's fob watch out of her pocket, watching the golden tendrils of energy reaching out and comforting her. _Everything is okay,_ it seemed to say. 

She hoped it was. But, when she saw the Secretary and the Janitors leaving the front door of the school, eyes landing on her car, she knew there were steps that had to be taken before everything would truly be okay. Heart aching for her friends and twisting at their unknown fate, Yaz peeled out of the parking lot just as the three aliens began to sprint towards her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit I cannot believe it but I managed to crank this out in a few hours sorry for the wait! the last two days I got totally disconnected and it was WACK but I wrote some stuff today so yay! I hope this was good, I haven't written a lot of action before so im a little nervous tee hee.... oh whale thank you for reading and I hope you're all doing well!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where are Ryan and Graham? What shade of blue do you need for dance decorations? AND: Can the author sneak in a Frozen reference and all the gay she can before shit hits the fan?

(Your POV) 

Your fingers ached, and you were fairly sure you'd have to work extra hard in the shower to remove all the glue that had found its way into your hair. For the past hour and a half you'd been putting together all sorts of decorations and you were starting to question why you'd signed up to help in the first place. It wasn't awful, per say, but there was a significant difference in the level of work you were being assigned compared to any of the other teachers present. 15 minutes ago, you'd run out of blue paint and cardboard, making an emergency call to Jane. While you waited for her to fulfill your request, the rest of the teachers stuck you with streamers to string up. 

"There you go, ladder and some blue streamers, thanks!" the maths teacher said with a grin, leaving you to drink coffee and gossip with the other teachers. Most of the kids had gone home to get ready for the dance, so it was just you. Fun. 

You set the stool down and found some tape, taking the first chance you'd had in 20 minutes to check your phone before you got down to business. 

**Found the cardboard! It's okay if it came from the bins, right? - Double kisses! Jane Smith**

**Does the shade of blue matter? They have Light Blue, Hale Navy, lulworth blue, Brittany Blue, hague blue, drawing room blue, new providence blue, to name a few. - Triple kisses! Jane Smith**

**Okay, I've bought the paint, I got a nice neutral blue, like the color of the pond by your flat. Is it alright if I give you a kiss when I see you? - Kisses? Jane Smith**

**_Of course :)_ ** you answer back, cheeks red. She was just too cute to be real. Rolling your eyes playfully, you stuck the phone in your back pocket and climbed the stool with streamers and tape in hand. After the date last night you'd gotten too many kisses to count, but you certainly wouldn't turn down more. The memory made your cheeks burn with more intensity, biting your lip to stop the smile that it was stretching into.  _ You'll see her at the dance, _ you tried to tell yourself.  _ Focus on your work.  _

"Yeah, no, I've noticed she's weird before," Murmured Mrs. Abbas, the PE teacher. "And the headmaster." 

"You don't suppose it's an affair?" another teacher asked. The group whispered amongst themselves briefly, but the tone was negative so you assumed they agreed no. Their conversation did interest you, though. The Headmaster's odd behaviour had always irked you and though Jane had acknowledged it, it felt nice to know that others you rarely spoke to thought him strange as well. It helped validate your anxieties. 

They continued to talk about odd happenings surrounding the Headmaster and his secretary, not giving you a single glance. 2nd streamer up, you moved the stool a little to the left and continued stringing the material across the ceiling while you eavesdropped. The room was starting to really come together, which was nice, as you were thinking of asking Jane to get ready with you and you wanted time to spend with her. Suddenly, the streamers dropped from your hands and you gasped as the world disappeared around you. 

_ "You look nice," Jane's voice said. Your head turned, but everything felt... limited. Like you couldn't move or see everything fully. When your eyes moved downward, you could see that you were wearing a suit of some sort, and in front of you there was a mirror, reflecting the whole outfit. Jane was standing behind you, hands on her hips, wearing the outfit she usually wore in your dreams- but this wasn't a dream,  _ **_was it? you were awake_ ** _ \- with her long coat and rainbows, all covered in various stains.  _

**_Aren't you going to get ready?_ ** _ you feel you should ask, and you do.  _

_ "Oh, right! Probably should, unless the Andrana people appreciate messiness" She said with a teasing hint to her voice. "Tell you what, I was NOT expecting those rainforest lizards to mutate and become so hostile. Not fun. Anyway, I'll go find a suit of my own."  _

_ Rainforest? Lizards? what was she talking about? You were in the gym, decorating for the dance not... whatever this was.  _

_ "Every _ thing okay?" Jane again, but her voice sounded louder, closer, and somehow... more real. Suddenly in control of your body once more you whipped around to face her, only to lose your footing on the stool. Jane's arms supported your back as you tumbled, nearly taking her to the floor with you. Okay, so her touch was  _ definitely _ real, and so was the gym, which had returned to normal around you. 

"Maybe she needs some air?" the PE teacher. 

"No, no" You insisted, trying to connect to your limbs again. Everything was fine, everything was normal now. Jane helped push you back up to your feet, sending a glare towards the stool. "I'm fine, sorry. Just slipped." 

"I was calling your name well before that," Jane said. "I brought all the supplies, set them on the table and you just seemed a little out of sorts. Are you sure you're alright?" 

"Yeah," You said again, wincing at the weird looks the rest of the staff, who had dropped their gossiping, gave you. "Yeah I think so. Just zoned out I suppose, lost my footing-" 

Then, from far away, you could hear a soft whispering.  _ How can I hear a whisper from so far away? _ You thought, trying to look for the source. "Y/n?" 

"Do you hear that?" You asked Jane, pointing your thumb in the general direction you sensed the whispering coming from. Jane raised a brow, tilting her head in the same direction, but you could tell that she wasn't hearing the same thing you were. How could she not? The sound, despite seemingly far away, was intense and thick, like something was reaching out towards you. 

"Y/n, I think it might be best if we head home for a bit? Maybe that'll help you feel better?" The other teachers were rolling their eyes, clearly annoyed that Jane was suggesting you leave the rest of your work to them. She didn't acknowledge them, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. You nodded, the weight of a headache starting to settle on top of your consciousness. Heading home  _ did _ sound nice and you wanted to go before-hand, anyway. 

As you gave the streamers, tape, and stool to another teacher, Jane waited by the door patiently with a smile. She had already gathered your jacket and other things, handing it to you as you approached. Once you slipped the jacket on she reached down for your hand, holding it tightly. The halls of the school were practically empty, and it felt nice to show affection to Jane so openly without any whispers or laughing. 

The agreement was that she would drive you back to your flat and to the dance, and then afterward you could drive home separately. The entire drive home, your mind kept drifting back to what had happened on the stool. It felt just like your dreams: very real, and very different from your normal life. Like you were a different entity entirely. Jane, in the dream, had felt so real as well.  _ Jane _ . When you blinked, you were no longer in the car, but  _ sitting against a railing.  _

_ The surface underneath you was hard and small. More shapes cascaded downward, and you realized you were sitting on the odd set of stairs that were always present in the time machine of your dreams. But  _ **_Jane._ ** _ you were thinking about  _ **_Jane._ ** _ And there she was, humming softly to herself as she pushed buttons at the center of the room, checking a monitor that was hanging from the ceiling by a few wires and plastic coat hangers that had been glued together (at 1 am, while she told you all about the time she saw a man get turned into an ood and what was an  _ **_ood_ ** _ and  _ **_when did this all happen?)_ **

"I even ironed my tie and everything" You blinked again. Jane was holding the door to your flat open, waiting for you to step inside. "What's that look for? I know I don't usually wear the long ones, but I figured it's a special event so I'd mix it up a bit." 

"Yeah, yeah, sounds great!" You say quickly, not wanting to give away any of the odd things that were happening to you. Jane didn't need to save you again. You were sure she would without hesitation, but that was part of what made you feel guilty. There wasn't time to feel bad now. You had time to spend with the best woman in the universe and then a job to do. "I'm just going to pop into the shower!" 

Jane made herself at home while you half ran to the shower, trying to figure out how you'd gotten inside your flat so quickly. You didn't even remember half the drive, much less approaching the door. The water that fell from the shower head grew warmer, doing a little to ground you back to reality. Still, you couldn't help but focus on the things you saw. They were already making you confused, but there was some outside force that was causing anxiety to press against you from all sides, squeezing you until tears began to slowly fall from your eyes. 

Why did everything feel so wrong? It felt like you shouldn't be where you were. Not in your shower, not in your flat, not in your town, not in the country, not on the _ planet. _ It was  _ wrong _ . Despite having no immediate danger present, your muscles keep tensing as if preparing to run. But why was all this happening? You were home safe. There was nothing to run from, no one to save, no evil to defeat. The water was the same temperature as your tears, and even placing your hands against the cool wall of the shower wasn't enough to brace you for the next vision. 

_ "I told you this would happen." You yelled over the pouring rain. The purple precipitation was getting everywhere, and you had no umbrella to stop it. Most likely, your jacket would offer some protection, but it was already drenched and you needed it to help against the strong winds.  _

_ "Yeah... sorry 'bout that'' The Doctor yelled ahead of you. A few feet above, there was a cave that could offer brief shelter from the storm that was starting to brew around you. You glanced back over your shoulder at the small town a few miles away. Graham, Yaz, and Ryan had chosen to stay behind while you and the Doctor went for a walk across the city-states famous landscape. One of the townsfolk had told you that the climate usually didn't offer much for tourists this time of their year, and that it would likely rain. Despite the warning, the Doctor insisted on showing you the bi-annual Nicced migration to the planet's third moon.  _

_ Speaking of the devil, she held her hand out behind her so you could grab onto it. You had to lightly jog to catch up with her and connect your hands, smiling at the chance for contact. This incarnation wasn't particularly partial to it, which was slightly disappointing as her 12th incarnation wasn't either, something unexpected after 11's playful touchiness.  _ **_Incarnations? Who were those men?_ **

_ Eventually the two of you reached the mouth of the cave, eagerly dropping to a sitting position the second you were out of the rain. The wind continued to ripple through the air, sending an echoing song throughout the dark, endless cave. _

_ "Pretty," The Doctor remarked. You watched her smooth her hair back, the drenched golden strands staying pressed in place. It gave you a full view of her face, ears, and neck, which were pink from the exertion of climbing the hill.  _

_ "Yeah, it is," You whisper. Suddenly a light shudder involuntarily moved through you and the Doctor turned, giving a disapproving hum. She started to shrug off her coat, exposing her collarbone and shoulders, which were  _ **_just_ ** _ covered up by her dark blue jumper. Suddenly you didn't feel so cold. She got up to her knees, leaning over so she could drape the long coat over your form. Then she sat back, silently taking in your new appearance.  _

_ "Won't you be cold?"  _

_ "The cold never bothered me.. that's a Frozen reference!" she reassured you with a grin. "Besides, it looks nice on you."  _

_ You felt appreciated under her coat and gaze, but also remarkably awkward. That was how it always was with the Doctor. The two of you were always dancing around one another, so, **so** close but unable to close the gap. Always unsure of whether the other was reciprocating, or if you should. You certainly **felt** like reciprocating whatever she was giving to you right now. So you did, giving her a once over. The rain, which was slightly gelatinous, was covering and staining her skin, particularly her face and hair, which hadn't been covered by her coat. So you reached over, using the sleeve of yours to wipe some of it off of her face, taking your time with the excuse to be so close to her.  _

_ "Y/n.."  _

_ A phone rang somewhere in the depths of one of her pockets. She leaned in closer to you, arm disappearing into the pocket up to her mid bicep until she found the interrupter. The even closer proximity made your heart sing, but it was a slow, mournful tune as you knew that the call would likely lead to running off and saving the day again. She held the phone up to her ear, eyes flicking around in concern.  _

_ "Yaz? Yaz, slow down, how many are there?" Her eyes flicked back to you and she pulled the phone away, covering the transmitter. "They've found more bodies in the hotel basement. They think it's them"  _

_ Running off, saving the day again. Would you be able to this time? It was unlikely. You were chasing after the aliens- The hea- _

A knock on the bathroom door ripped you out of the vision, interrupting your thought. The door opened just enough for a sliver of Jane's head to poke through. "You alright? You can take all the time you want of course, but it's been a while and I just wanted to make sure you were okay" 

The water that splashed against your skin was freezing cold and you quickly turned the knob to the off position. How long had it been? 

"Yeah, i'm fine, sorry." 

"Don't be sorry! I made us a quick snack before we get ready, in case you're feeling hungry. I also took time to fix your dishwasher." You were pretty sure your dishwasher was working perfectly fine, but that was the least of your concerns. Making a mental note to discuss the visions and your dreams with Jane later that night, you got out of the shower so she could help you get ready for the night's events. 

* * *

(Ryan's POV)

"This is the worst," Ryan groaned. His brain was beating against the back of his skull and into his eyelids, which were forced shut by the cloth that had been tied around his head. He could see nothing, and his other senses refused to grant him the answers he wanted. The smell was _bad_ , he knew that for sure, and sometimes it seemed like there were more than two people breathing, indicating that he and his grandad might not be alone. 

He could also still hear the whispers of fob watch, but it had quieted significantly. During the somewhat blurry time that he'd been dragged around and then beaten unconscious, the watch had received similar distress and he had spent the last few minutes wondering what they'd done with it. They couldn't have opened it; if they had, it would be silent. Part of Y/N was still in there. So where had the other parts of her gone? Would they automatically find her? 

Did Y/N know that he was missing? Would other staff realize Graham was too? Or was the entire staff, sans Jane and Y/N, part of the alien crew? Again, more questions. In some form of an answer to the first question, his phone began to ring.  **_Yes!_ ** If he didn't pick up, surely Y/N would know something was wrong and come looking for him. 

"Turn that off, you'll wake them up!" Ryan froze. It wasn't Graham's voice. It was the panicked, shaky voice of Leo Jones, a few feet away from him. Then, he could not only hear, but  _ feel _ something beginning to move all around him, rippling and crawling onto his arms. His heart rate shot through the roof (an imaginary one, given he had no idea what sort of room he was in) and he started to shake in attempt to get whatever was on him off. 

"Leo? Leo what's happening?" He whispered frantically. 

"Oh god," Came Leo's pained groan.  _ "Don't move."  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO i noticed that the spellin in my fics might suck absolute ass so um. If the spelling for all the other chapters has been shit thats just the way it is and I apologize... kjdnkwjndkwqjndkqwjndkjqwnd ANYWAY. Hope you enjoyed. The end is near. Etc, Etc,


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dance Begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im SO sorry this took so long... my lord! I had a scholarship I had to work on and couldn't really focus on this stuff too much, so I gotta get back into the ~groove~ of things. Hope you guys are all well!

(Yaz's POV)

The past 22 hours had been the longest of Yaz's life. There was no way she could go to the school after the events of the previous night, and Jane didn't answer the door when she ran to her flat. She didn't dare return to hers; the Secretary probably knew where she lived. Instead, she broke the rules of their undercover life and drove out of town, parking in the lot of an abandoned warehouse and 'sleeping' in the backseat of her car with little to do besides panic and wait for the chance to _do_ something. 

Now she had the chance to do so, but it didn't make her happy. She knew what was coming and she knew that it wouldn't be easy. The Doctor's fob watch was clenched tightly in her fist, waiting for the moment she could finally open it, after all this time. Ahead of her, multicolored lights shone through the windows of the school, pop music radiating from inside. The dance had started roughly 15 minutes ago, but she didn't want to risk running into any of the staff at the beginning. Instead, she watched from a distance as students made their way inside. 

Jane's car pulled into the lot and she nearly jumped to attention, ripping her thumb away from the watches button to avoid pushing it too early out of excitement. Jane went around the back of the car to the passenger side, pulling the door open. Yaz's breath faltered a little as you got to your feet. The two of you were smiling, dressed in beautiful, yet simple, dress. Jane leant towards you to place a quick kiss on your lips, grinning like she'd just touched the sun. Yaz could just barely see the happiness in your eyes. It would've been a wonderful thing to witness, if she didn't hold the key to the destruction of it all. 

As much as it pained her to have to ruin something that everyone had been waiting for and working towards for so long, it was necessary for her to start following the two of you into the dance. Students who were making their late arrivals waved as she briskly walked, giving them tight smiles. Who knew if they would still have their excited, positive energy by the end of the night. It all depended on whether or not she could get to the bottom of the headmasters plan, save her friends, and prevent any of the students from getting hurt. No pressure. 

As she ascended the main flight of stairs, her nerves began to kick into high gear, placing her on red alert. Such feelings, although not present for a while until last night, were normal on adventures with the Doctor. The adrenaline was beginning to build and it fueled her footsteps, nearly making her smile despite the surrounding circumstance. Things were getting back to normal. _Finally._

She slowed down abruptly as she saw Jane link arms with you, tugging you close to her side. It became apparent why she'd done so; the Headmaster stood right inside of the entrance, watching the two faux-humans with narrowed eyes, which narrowed further when his eyes landed on Yaz. She tensed; clearly the secretary and the janitors had told him about last night's events. One of his arms shot out and a hand closed itself around Yaz's arm, instituting a vice grip that made her wince. 

"If it's not to much trouble, I'd like a moment to speak with you, Ms. Khan" 

" _No_." She growled, tugging away from his grip. It didn't work and she tugged again, gripping the fob watch harder. His eyes drifted to it and hers widened. He clearly knew what it was; he was going to reach for it. 

"Is there a problem, headmaster?" Yaz turned to see Jane, still holding you close to her, staring the headmaster down with fire in her eyes. The man's lips curled into a snarl, and he dropped Yaz's arm violently, letting it crash into her side. 

"None at all, Ms. Smith." You looked at her with a mix of understanding and concern, reaching out to grab Yaz's hand and pull her towards the two of you. She accepted the escape with no hesitation, slipping Jane's fob watch into her pocket. 

"Then I suggest you keep your hands to yourself, _sir_ " 

" _Jane_ " Yaz warned. Things were already escalating; the last thing they needed was for them to culminate and reach a peak by the dance entrance, where students and staff alike were gathered and in the crossfire. Jane remained glaring at the headmaster for another long moment before you began pulling on her arm and Yaz's hand, tugging them inside of the dance and away from the evil man. 

"What was that about?" You asked loudly, the music drowning you out slightly. "Are you okay?" 

Yaz nodded, but her breath was coming out quickly. She needed to open the fob watch, and soon. She also needed to find your fob watch and Ryan and Graham, if that was possible. Jane walked away briefly and offered Yaz a glass of water, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

"I've always hated that guy" You continued. "Listen, I've really been considering talking to someone about him. All the other teachers have noticed it too" 

"I'm fine. I um, I actually was wondering if I could talk with Jane really quickly, it's sort of important" Jane perked up, nodding. Yaz glanced at you, frowning and worried and she knew that she couldn't have this conversation in front of you yet. Certainly not when she didn't have your fob watch to open. Her current plan was to tell Jane about everything, activate her fob watch, and use the Doctor's returned intellect and wit to find the others and your watch. _But then, who would keep an eye on you?_ she wondered. One of the downsides of having to come up with a very important plan all by oneself; mistakes tended to become apparent at the last possible minute. But before she could suggest that you stay, you were already shrugging yourself out of Jane's arm. 

"Alright then, I'll be over near that wall, supervising. Take care of yourself, Yaz!" She nodded and Jane gave you another quick kiss, earning a soft scolding for being so bold in front of the students. Yaz returned a wobbly smile as you walked away, nodding her head towards a hallway so that Jane would follow her. As they approached the safe place for conversation, she could feel the Doctor's watch begin to softly sing. 

* * *

(Your POV) 

_Danger, Danger_ had become a repeating mantra in your head, increasing to a deafening volume the second you turned around and saw the Headmaster manhandling Yaz. The feeling that something was wrong prevented you from even focusing on the students, unless they were being obviously obnoxious. It seemed you and the 3 other teachers were not alone in watching over the students. There was a janitor at nearly every entrance; you thought the school only had 3 hired, including Graham, but perhaps you were wrong. 

The Headmaster had entered the dance hall, looking around. Something urged you to press yourself into the wall harder, trying to hide from his gaze. You had to do something about him, and soon. Everything seemed to be glitching around you, spiking when he was near or when the whispers started getting louder, as they were in that very moment. You subtly put a hand to your ear, trying in vain to block some of them out. 

Their volume wasn't able to be denied. It sounded as if the whispers were coming from inside of you, not from far away or from an outside source. Are you going crazy? Jane and Yaz had disappeared into another hallway, and you spared a split-second glare at the headmaster. Jane and Yaz were your _friends_ and he was being rude to them. Your attention was diverted as a student came rushing into the dance hall, breathing heavily, eyes wide. 

Using a foot to push yourself off the wall, you started to approach her in hopes of calming her down and figuring out the problem. Someone beat you to it, however. The Secretary stepped in front of the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling sweetly. 

"Why don't we talk in the hallway, dear" Her voice sounded strained, and suddenly the whispers were _screaming,_ telling you that under no circumstances were you to allow that girl to go with the secretary alone. _Follow her_ , the voice- your own, you realized- yelled. _You know something is wrong don't_ **_stand there._ **There was no time to second guess. As if dragged by an invisible rope, you began to move forward, heading in the direction the Secretary had led the girl out of the dance hall. 

The halls were relatively clear, save for a few outcast students who were taking advantage of the snacks and drink you'd helped set up earlier. They watched you with a curious gaze, clearly startled by the girl who had run through and into the hall. When you spared them no attention, they turned back to their individual pursuits and left you to turn the corner, determined to catch up with the Secretary. Soon, the hallways were completely empty, and you realized they were headed in the direction of the main office. 

As the Secretary unlocked the door and lightly shoved the girl into the room, you hid behind a locker. She had whipped her head towards you, most likely in an attempt to make sure the coast was clear. You clutched at your chest, trying to slow your movements down so you could sneak into the office properly. _So close,_ the voice said. _Come on, it's okay._

 _I_ **_am_ ** _coming, asshole._

_Don't call me an asshole. Hurry up!_

You winced at the way every footstep clicked against the floor, making noises that you would rather avoid. On your tiptoes, you reached the office door and gripped the edge of it, peering into the room. The secretary and student were nowhere to be seen. Frowning, you stepped past the threshold, noting that the Headmaster's door was open. _Why would they be in there, when the Headmaster was back at the dance?_

As you approached the door, your eyes landed on the floor, which was torn. A whole square of carpet was uprooted, leaning against the wall. In the place where it once was, there was a hole. _Okay, that isn't normal. No, it's not. Go down._ Who were you to deny yourself? Gazing down into the hole, you couldn't see a ladder or anything that would help you descend safely into what seemed to be a very, very deep hole. Luckily, or unluckily, a friend was there to help. Pain, thick and wet- blood, you suspected- blossomed in the back of your head after a loud **_thunk_ ** and your hand flew to the wound, groaning deeply. 

When you stumbled to search for the cause, you saw the secretary staring at you silently, holding the telephone, the corner of which was covered with your blood, in her hands. She let it crash unceremoniously to the floor, then reached forward to lightly shove against your chest, sending you tumbling into the black abyss. 

* * *

The word 'groggy' was not complex enough to describe your current condition. The whispers were still in your mind but they were calmer now, as if they were soothing you back into consciousness. Everything around you felt cloudy, and all of your senses were focused on the wound that the Secretary had opened in the back of your head, still warm from the blood that had flowed from it. Your hearing was starting to become slightly aware of the words being spoken. 

"What an honor, to encounter a race as ancient as yours. It's a shame we had to meet under such inconvenient circumstances." Injured or not, it was easy to recognize the Headmaster's voice. You tried to place your hand against your head but found that there was rope binding your wrists together behind your back. Now your senses were kicking into high gear in an effort to understand and save yourself. There was cloth around your eyes, preventing you from seeing the Headmaster and whatever room he had you in. 

"What is this?" You croaked. Your throat was horrifically dry, only adding to the pain that was moving through your body in slow waves. "What's going on?" 

"Hm. I assumed a timelord such as yourself would be able to deduce these things quite easily. But you're not a timelord right now, are you? No, you made sure of that when you trapped yourself inside of _this_ " You couldn't see what he was referring too, trying to nudge the cloth past your nose and failing miserably. 

"T-timelord?" 

"Y/n-" Your head shot towards your left, breath pausing. Ryan? What was he doing down here? Was this where he was all day?? 

"SILENCE!" The Headmaster yelled. You cringed as you heard crawling a few feet away from you, Ryan groaning. Something- no, _many_ things- began to move against your skin as well. Tiny legs supporting what you imagined were tiny bodies, all moving excitedly. _What the hell?_

 _"_ I suspected it was the two of you, from the moment you walked into this school. But I couldn't be too sure. I had to be careful as well, of course. I couldn't give up our hiding place so quickly you see." You could hear the rustling of paper, like he was flipping through the pages of a book. "' _We arrived on the planet only to immediately find a pile of bodies, just like last time'_ How unfortunate to have an adventure ruined, hm? But _oh,_ how equally unfortunate to have another potential home taken from you by the same. Pesky. Travellers." 

There was a woosh and the book hit the side of your leg then landed next to you, having been thrown across the room quite violently. From your shifting there was now a small opening between your skin and the cloth that you could peek through. It was Jane's journal, open to a page containing the drawing of an intricate fob watch. You tensed; you had a fob watch, just like that. Almost _exactly_ like that, on the shelf in your closet. But why did Jane draw it, and how did she know about it? You'd forgotten about it until this very moment. 

"I don't understand" Your voice came out shaky but you couldn't find it in you to scold or correct yourself; The entire day had been confusing and awful, and any reaction, no matter how pitiful, was justified. First, there were the memories and vision's you didn't understand. Then, there was the violent knock-out that you didn't see coming and also failed to understand. Now here you were, in the late hours of the night, tied up in the bottom of the school with a madman who had clearly stalked and stolen from your girlfriend- the same man who was now stepping right in front of you. 

"You will, I suspect, once I open that watch over there. I was planning on killing the two of you, you know. It would've been _so_ easy. But the more I thought about it, the more I began to consider the idea of you being useful to us" You could hear Ryan protesting, but all of his words were muffled by something unseen. 

"U-us?" You asked nervously. The Secretary and the Headmaster were clearly in on this (whatever this was) together, but something told you that they were not the only two he was referring too. As if he sensed your deduction, he chuckled darkly. 

"All those weeks ago, I asked you about your past, about your family. How rude of you to not ask about mine" Fingers jammed themselves underneath the cloth and against your cheek and ripped it away violently, making you flinch. But there was no harsh light greeting you. In fact, you couldn't see anything at first. But then, your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness. With each passing second they grew wider, realizing what the source of the crawling noise was. 

Thousands upon thousands of bees were crawling all over the Headmaster's hands, across the floor, and, to your horror, in an uncountable amount of clumps and clusters covering the walls, which extended for more than 30 feet. You were not alone in your position, either. Ryan, of course, sat to your left, and to his left, Graham was tied up, blindfold still covering his eyes. To your right, three young students, including the girl you'd tried to save from the Secretary, were whimpering and leaning into each other for comfort. Finally, Leo Jones sat in the far right corner of the room, tearful eyes watching you. How long had he been down here, trapped with these _things?_

Your breath escaped you in one loud, low groan, trying to shrink into yourself and get away from the tiny creatures that were starting to crawl onto your skin in waves of black and yellow. Instinctively you started to writhe and whimper, trying to do anything you could in your limited position to get them off and away from you. Their tiny legs scampered all across your arms and legs, more of them flooding you as your movement increased. The Headmaster laughed as you struggled, grabbing one of the bee's from the floor and raising it to his face. It sat still for a moment, then flew forward into his mouth, disappearing. 

_I know it seems awful and it is but you need to focus!_ Your own voice cried. _I can't I can't I can't_ you replied, trembling as you tried to make sense of the thousands of creatures sharing the dark and scary place with you. 

"Oh look, it's excited," The Headmaster cooed. You followed his gaze to a small table across the room, where a massive cluster of bees buzzed and moved tightly against one another. **_"MOVE."_ ** He growled.

In two's they moved away from each other, revealing a silver, circular object, that was glowing a violent gold. It was a watch- _your_ watch, the one that Jane had drawn and the one that was in your closet. Disgust clawed up your throat as you realized that someone had been in your home, going through your things, stealing your things. Ryan started to thrash next to you, his eyes trying to communicate something that you couldn't understand. His fear only added to your own as the Headmaster took the Fobwatch in his hand and approached you once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I definietely stepped out of my comfort zone with these villains and i've spent months playing around with the specifics like their motivations and everything (which will BEE revealed ((sorry i couldn't help myself)) uhhh so hopefully it was as effective and lives up to the hype. A good friend reminded me that Doctor who is sixty years of wacky bullshit so I just kept trying to remind myself of that so I didn't feel bad about writing kwjqwkndjkqwndk oof. love you guys hope that you're well!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dance Continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Billie Eilish voice* I'm the baaaaaaad guy

(Jane’s POV) 

As Yaz pulled her away from the dance floor and into the hallway, Jane’s concern, which had established itself early on in the day when Yaz failed to show up to work, grew. The entire day had been less than pleasant; the wonderful afterglow of her date with you- which she was still trying to convince herself was real and not part of an elaborate dream- faded all too quickly. Before she began to speak, she made a mental note to ask you to watch a movie with her that night. Maybe she could get more cuddles. 

“You alright? Got a little worried when you didn’t come in today. Everyone was asking about you!” 

Yaz returned a split-second half smile, then cleared her throat. “Listen, what I’m about to tell you isn’t exactly fun and it’s not understandable either… but it needs to happen and I think it needs to happen  _ now” _

Immediately, Jane’s mind drifted to the scene she had interrupted a few minutes previously; the Headmaster’s hands on her friend. “Oh, Yaz… you can tell me  _ anything _ . Anything at all, and I’ll do the best I can. Promise.” 

As Yaz’s hand disappeared into her coat pocket, Jane’s eyes followed it nervously. She really hoped that nothing bad had happened to her friend. Maybe she was sick, and that’s why she was missing all day! Maybe it was a simple problem that could be resolved in a quick moment and everything would be fine, like it always was. She was always saving Yaz and the others in her dream, why not now? 

Yaz’s hand reappeared, fingers gently clutching a small metal object. When she held her hand outward and turned it over, her fingers gradually eased off of it’s surface to fully reveal it. Jane frowned. It looked eerily familiar. 

“Do you know what this is?” Yaz whispered. Jane carefully reached out and let the object fall into her palm. It felt heavy in more ways than weight, and somehow she felt like this was  _ hers _ , despite never seeing it before. Remembering she had to respond to Yaz, she shook her head. “It was on your desk this whole time.” 

“My desk?” Jane asked as she turned it over in her palm. There was a small button on the top of one side of the watch, and her eyes lingered on it. Her thumb brushed over it briefly, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind telling her to leave it alone. Back to the problem at hand: “You went through the things in my desk?” 

“I had to.” Jane’s eyebrow raised further, unable to answer her own question as to why Yaz would possibly invade her privacy in such a way. “Listen, we’ve got to open it.” 

“I don’t want to” The answer was short, surprising Jane herself, who hadn’t even thought of the words before they shot out of her mouth. Despite the reply being so sudden, her mind, which caught up after a short second, reinforced the idea.  _ Of course I don’t want to open the watch, _ she thought to herself.  _ Why would I?  _

Yaz blinked, then readjusted her form. “I figured you’d say that. But listen- we’ve got to. I don’t know if it whispers like Y/N’s does but-” 

“What does Y/N have to do with this?” Jane demanded to know. “It’s just a watch, a watch that you  _ nicked- _ ” 

“I had to nick it!” Yaz complained. “Just- listen okay? Because this isn’t going to be easy to understand but it’s completely necessary that I explain-” 

“Explain what? _ It’s just a watch _ , Yaz.” 

“No, it isn’t.” her friend responded. 

Jane found herself very displeased at the way Yaz’s voice stretched and crawled through the air, as if she was trying to convince a child to share a toy. It felt like she should be using that tone, doing all of the explaining and showing off. She didn’t like the switch that much. Why was Yaz so insistent that the watch was more than it was? It didn’t shine a particular way, it didn’t do anything. The watch simply laid dormant in her hand. When Jane tried to scan her brain for an explanation of its significance, she came up short. 

“Yaz. I’ve had a long day.” 

“I know. I’m sorry that this has to happen, but it does. The aliens, they’re finally doing something and we need to stop whatever it is. We’ve hid long enough.” 

“ _ Hid? _ ” Jane hissed, her confusion growing. Why did Yaz sound so panicked? Her brain was starting to kick into overtime, juggling the urge to solve all of Yaz’s problems and save the day Vs. the natural response to give into the fear and continue to get upset. “Yaz, I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Well maybe you would if you stopped interrupting me!” the girl shouted. Jane stepped back, mouth falling open slightly in shock. Her and Yaz had never gotten into a fight before, and it felt foreign to be spoken to in such a manner by a companion.  _ Friend.  _ Her brain settled on a decision and she took yet another step back, gripping the watch tightly. 

“Right… I’m going back to the dance. I’m not sure what’s happening with you, and I want to help, but you’re starting to freak me out. I think this conversation is best had once the two of us are settled more.” 

However, as she turned to head back into the dance, a hand wrapped itself around her wrist, tugging her backwards roughly. When she instinctively yanked at the grip, it grew stronger. Her eyes widened, nearly dropping the watch in her other hand. 

“Yaz?!?! What the  _ hell  _ are you doing?” 

“You can’t go back in there. Listen, please. We landed here months ago because the aliens we were hunting down. you’ve been hiding and so have all the rest of us- me, graham, ryan, Y/n- but it’s over now, we have to end it.” 

“Aliens?!?!” Jane said with a scoff. “Yaz, do you hear yourself? Honestly?” 

“Do  _ you _ hear me?!? Ja- no, you know what? Your name isn’t  _ Jane, _ Doctor. That’s not your name and this isn’t-” She waved her hands around the hallway and over Jane’s form, which was starting to tremble from the roots of her toes to the top of her shoulders. “This isn’t real, Doctor! Give me the watch.” 

As her free hand made an attempt to repossess the watch, Jane moved back as far as she could. Her heart was racing along with her thoughts, telling her not to let Yaz have it. She would ruin everything. “I don’t think I will. What is wrong with you?” 

“ _ Please _ , Doctor, give it back. We don’t have much time.” There was a definite wobble in her friend's voice, and she could see the glimmer of a tear in the corner of her eye. She felt a pang of regret at hurting her friend, even if it was in such an odd and mysterious way. It was quickly shoved aside, however, by her desire to escape the situation. 

“Is this a prank?” Jane found herself asking, volume significantly decreased so as not to upset Yaz further. “All that graffiti and all the jokes about me and Y/N, did the students decide on a prank this time?” 

“A- A prank?” Yaz gasped. “Do you really think-” 

“I don’t know what I think, Yaz! How am I meant to, with you grabbing me like this and spouting nonsense” 

“It is  _ not _ nonsense” Yaz growled. “Give me the watch.” 

“It’s just a watch, Yaz. Nothing more.” Yaz let out an exasperated yet tired sigh, her grip loosening ever so slightly as her body sagged. 

“No, it’s not.” She sounded properly close to tears, taking in a shaky breath. “Your name is the Doctor. You're from a planet called… Gallifrey, and so is Y/N. We travel with you, through space and time and whatever else. There was a group of aliens that we were chasing and you two had to hide yourselves so they didn’t take off again that’s why we’re here. And it’s time to act on everything now because this dance- they’re going to _do_ something, _I know it,_ and you won’t _listen_ _to me.”_

Jane herself relaxed a little, but her heart refused to read the room and do the same. Her brain was working over everything Yaz had said, desperate to understand what was going on so she could help her. But the more she thought over everything, the more she tried to piece it all together and connect it to her dreams. ( _ why is Yaz discussing something so similar to my dreams? She can’t know about those. That doesn’t happen. But it does! Or… anyway, I can’t fight the aliens right now! I have to get back to Y/N! _ ) As the second ticked by, her brain grew exhausted and gave up, making the words and the scenes fuzzy. 

“Yaz,” She whispered. The girl looked back up at her, eyes wet and  _ pleading _ so loudly without her even uttering a word. “I’m not going to pretend to understand what’s happening. But I promise after this dance- and that’s all this is,  _ a dance,  _ I will try and help you. Why don’t we go back in and calm down? I was just going to spend time with Y/N all night, you can join us.” 

To begin her attempt at resolving the issue, Jane wrapped a comforting arm around Yaz’s shaking form, holding her tightly. “C’mon, let’s go have fun.” Yaz complied, albeit with hesitation and Jane spent the few seconds walking to try and circle back to what Yaz had rambled on about. For some reason she couldn’t remember all of it.  _ Must be the stress.  _

The dance was becoming more lively by the minute as the students let go of their insecurities and relaxed into the music. It was rather nice seeing so many so cheerful. _ I’ll have to teach them _ the  _ drunk giraffe! _ Jane thought to herself  _ Er… actually, I can’t call it that. Happy giraffe?  _ Yaz didn’t seem to be relaxing at all, though, which put a stop on Jane’s random tangent. 

“Oh god, I told you” Yaz groaned, tugging Jane along with her as she stepped back a few paces. Jane let her arm drop from her shoulder to avoid being dragged any further. “I told you, we need to go now!” 

“Yaz!” Jane hissed as students started looking at them with concern. 

“Y/N isn’t here, Jane!” And finally, her whirling thoughts froze mid air, the solid droplets crashing against the tile below her. Y/n… wasn’t… there.  _ Why not?  _

Her eyes frantically scanned the room to confirm what Yaz had pointed out. Each second that her eyes searched without finding what she was looking for was a second that her heart did not beat properly. 

“Doctor, we’ve got to find her.” 

“ I know that,” She mumbled. Jane stumbled towards the first student she saw, pulling them out of their slow dance. “Have you seen Ms. L/N anywhere?” 

The pair of students looked at each other, and then one of the girls chuckled and said. “Well, yes, but-” 

“It’s not funny” Jane grumbled. “Where’d you see her” 

“Um… she like, went down that hallway” The girl answered, voice quiet and cheeks red. Jane nodded and turned away abruptly. She grabbed Yaz’s hand to run, like she’d done a million times before-  _ before? Why? _ \- and dragged her towards the hallway the girl directed her towards. Yaz’s hand squeezed hers, seeking out comfort. 

“She’s probably just popped out for a drink or a break,” Jane said. 

“I don’t think she has,” Yaz countered. 

“I’m trying to reassure myself, ms. Khan” they did speak for a few moments. Jane kicked down the door to the bathroom, ignoring all of the panicked girls gossiping in front of the mirrors. The two of them backed out after finding nothing. “Sorry- do you mind recounting what you said earlier?” 

“It was only a minute or two ago….?” 

“Please, Yaz.” Her brain, which had once been building walls and jumbling Yaz’s story into an illegible mess, was halting its efforts and starting to let some things through. This was against Jane’s instinct, of course, which was to leave things alone and carry on with how things were. But she couldn’t do that properly without you. You were the only reason she wanted to keep going like this.  _ Like this? What other way is there?  _

“Just… brace yourself, okay? We’re running out of time and I can’t have you arguing with me anymore.” Jane followed orders with an annoyed huff, leaning against the wall and resting her head against the cool surface. She was still holding the fob watch, and she ran her thumb over it’s surface to ground herself. 

“Your name isn’t Jane Smith.” 

“Is your name still Yasmin Khan?” 

Yaz rolled her eyes. “Yes, please stop interrupting. Your name isn’t Jane Smith. I don’t know why the watch isn’t talking to you like it is with Y/N… but this isn’t you, okay? Your name is the Doctor. You travel throughout the universe and we all tag along but sometimes things go south and in this instance, we had to hide here. Are you with me?” 

Jane had crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes as if her focused vision would help her listen harder. Truthfully, she didn’t know what the hell Yaz was talking about, but the more she let her talk the more she started to remember her dreams and the fact that there was a  _ connection  _ between the two. Perhaps Yaz had read her journal, and was using it for the prank? But you knew about her dreams as well. Something weird was going on, and it seemed as though her mind was truly waking up to what it might be. When Yaz set a hand on her shoulder she was ripped out of the depths of her thought, and nodded quickly. 

“And we’ve been hiding here for months, with no sign. But some things started to pile up and I’m absolutely certain it's the headmaster behind all the stuff we kept finding, and he’s going to use this dance as like, and attack, I’m sure of it. Right?” Another nod. “And I think they might’ve taken Y/N because they also took Ryan and Graham and we  _ need _ to get them back. I think opening your watch might help” 

_ Don’t listen to her, _ her own voice begged in an endless loop. Yet, she found that the words were directed at the idea of opening the watch, not the idea of believing Yaz’s story. And so she absorbed the words the best she could, her mind temporarily giving up its internal civil war.  _ Friends, Danger _

“Again, I won’t act like I completely understand,” She said slowly. “But… I’m willing to help with whatever this is.”

Yaz’s face brightened and she held out her hand for the watch. Jane winced, slipping it into her pants pocket. 

“Maybe not that yet. Let’s try and find our friends first.” Yaz hesitated but nodded, and stepped back so that Jane could separate herself from the wall, taking in a deep breath. 

“So… now that we’re on our way, the secretary is in on it too. And some of the Janitors. I think they might be in a classroom somewhere.” 

“Maybe the library?” Jane offered. “There’s loads of space, the walls are soundproof.” 

“But there’s glass windows in front of it. It’s a bit public.” 

“Right, then. Key classrooms… there’s my room, but I haven’t noticed them paying attention to it much. There’s the teachers lounge, the office…” 

“The office!” Yaz said with certainty. “No doubt the secretary would be able to do her evil there, she already stays in there the whole day! Good thinking.” 

Jane smiled. It felt.. Nice, to be adventurous like this, even if the adventure was shrouded in a million things she had yet to understand. It felt familiar. Yaz, seemingly thinking the same, mirrored her smile and the two of them increased their pace, heading towards the office in search of their friends. 

The hallway was empty and their journey was without interruption. With each step, Jane could feel the watch warming the side of her leg, the temperature increasing. How peculiar- she could remember owning the watch at some point, but not who had given it to her, where she’d purchased it, or why she chose to keep it in her classroom. How fitting, though, to spend the day flitting around from one confusion to the next.  _ This _ was what she was used to. 

By the time the realization of why she might be used to such a lifestyle soaked into her skin, they had reached the door to the office. It was already open, and the inside of the room was dark. Jane had been in this room before a few times, but she didn’t particularly like her visits. This one was no exception. 

“Can’t see anyone here,” Yaz whispered. With the coast as clear as their human vision would allow them to perceive, they stepped further into the room without interruption. After a minute of slowly inching their way across the room, Yaz’s gaze landed on the hole in the floor. 

“Well,” Jane said. “Hope they’ve got it in the budget to fix that” 

Yaz gave a dry laugh and then continued stepping towards it. Jane could feel her hesitation slipping away little by little. Even though the memories of specific events refused to be recalled, she got the feeling that she’d seen worse, been through worse, and done worse. What was an ominous hole in the floor leading to an unknown location compared to…  _ well, nevermind. _

“I can’t see a way down,” Yaz said. She grabbed a pencil off of the Headmasters desk, dropping it into the hole. Jane held her breath to do a little to help Yaz listen to it collide with the floor a millisecond later. “Alright then, can’t be too deep. Do you think you could help lower me down?” 

Jane nodded. There was certainly a lot of confusion surrounding her, but she knew her own strength. It could be scary sometimes. She could hold up a human like Yaz. Her friend sat on the edge of the hole, letting her legs dangle against the dirt wall. Then, she turned over, holding her arms out to Jane. She grabbed them tightly as Yaz eased herself off of her perch. Gravity sent Jane forward a little bit but she didn’t stumble enough to send Yaz flying down. 

She arched downward as she helped lower Yaz, sighing in relief when there was a sudden slack, happy that she had made it down safely.

“Try lowering yourself by hanging on to the surface, and I’ll try to catch you” Yaz offered. Jane nodded and took a seat on the edge, seeing the edges of Yaz’s features highlighted in what little light there was. She was giving her an uneasy yet reassuring smile, holding her arms upward. Copying Yaz’s maneuver, Jane started to lower herself down into the hole, feeling Yaz’s hands brush against her legs. 

The soil that she was supporting herself on made a prompt decision to go on strike and it gave way under her fingertips. Instead of Yaz’s arms, which Jane had hoped to land in, she crashed to the floor with a loud yelp. A small ache started in her back, which had taken all of the force of the fall, and she groaned as she sat up. 

“Sorry,” Yaz said with a wince. Jane shrugged and got to her feet, dusting off her suit the best she could. It was dark, but after a few seconds Jane’s eyes adjusted to understand that they were in some sort of corridor. Sharing a brief look with Yaz, they began to walk down it, unsure of where it would take them. 

There was noise somewhere further down the corridor, curiosity fueling their movements.  _ Clearly, that’s where our friends will be. That’s where Y/N is. But why?  _ There was a touch of light, too, seemingly seeping out into the corridor in wisps of gold. The gold seemed to shine a little too brightly and whisper a little too loud.  _ Is that- Y/N’s voice? _

She began to walk faster, curiosity replaced with urgency. With Yaz trailing behind her, she reached the makeshift doorway, eyes nearly popping from the rate at which they widened, trying to take in everything in front of her. 

There were insects everywhere. Buzzing and crawling and, even though there were too many to possibly distinguish any individual characteristics such as eyes,  _ staring. _ But the bugs were not the only species present; there were people lined up against the wall. Students such as Leo Jones, her friends Graham and Ryan and then- She gasped. 

You were against the wall, your feet kicking back into the clumps of insects as you were suspended in the air, held up by the Headmasters hand, which was clutching your throat. Jane felt a fury ignite in her, stepping forward to tug him away no matter the risk or consequence. You noticed her approach and she shrunk when she saw tears in your eyes, dripping down your cheeks and against the dirt floor. 

“Jane!” You cried. Before anything further could happen, there was a soft click, coming from the second fob watch in the room, which Jane had failed to notice. The tendrils of gold suddenly swirled and screamed and  _ exploded,  _ and Jane found herself blinded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has got to be the most loaded chapter i've written yet (emphasis on the yet, judging by my outline) so.. whew! Sorry to be satan or whatever. Hope you enjoyed nonetheless! Also- yay for my first time tackling Jane's POV and yay for my first chapter (I think) without a POV switch/time skip!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up.

Images burst through your head like the explosion of stars, too quick for you to grasp onto all of them. There were a few you could make out- feel, as if you were living them in the present. So many mornings waking up with Jane next to you. So many breakfasts, lunch, dinners, dates. The way the silver necklace she’d given you- would give you? shimmered in the light as she placed it around your neck. A cat outside, begging for a new home (one gladly given) Paying bills for your shared flat. Moving out of your shared flat because it couldn’t possibly be big enough for 3. Then moving out of that flat because now there were four of you, a cat, and a dog. 

You tried to grasp onto each of the images, not wanting to give them up. They were yours. They  _ should _ be yours. You were owed. But everytime your fingers latched on the memory became distorted and started to feel wrong. No. These were not your memories. This was not your life. Yet they still continued to flash against your eyelids, years and years going by, surrounded by so much love and happiness until- 

You opened your eyes. Not literally, you didn’t think. It felt like you’d just blinked. The sight that greeted you was a familiar one. The vast blanket of space stretched far beyond your vision, littered with stars and nebulas from all sorts of distant galaxies. You could feel the life of them, so bright and so alive. They’re burning. So are your limbs. Had you just been running? 

“That one over there, do you recognize it?” You turn your head. The Doctor is sitting across from you in the doorway, both of your legs teetering off the edge of the TARDIS. The stars are reflected in her eyes, lighting them up, pulling you closer to her. 

“Not really. Tell me about it?” You whisper. She’s good at that; rambling. Telling all sorts of stories, taking you across the universe. She could burn forever and never flicker. Your eyes never leave her even as she points at different points of the landscape in front of you, mouth moving quickly to form words that never reach your ears. You should be listening. Typically you do. But it’s different this time, because a star made out of realization has just exploded to life in your head and you know that you _ love _ this woman, more than anything or anyone in any corner of the universe you could touch. 

You love her- the Doctor. Your Doctor. And as the memory fades into darkness, so too does your false life. 

* * *

When you came to, the Doctor was above you- and holding you. But she was still different, in the same way you were. Jane Smith. What a silly alias; the classic one changed ever so slightly. It was warm and comforting in her arms and even though you knew that you weren’t in any position to be relaxing, you couldn’t help it. Jane could. Her muscles were tense and her eyes were wet, tears falling down to collide with your own. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Her voice was shaky, confused, and you realized that there was going to be a lot of explanation to fit into nearly no time at all. Hopefully Yaz had given her a crash course on the way down. “What did you do?” 

Jane’s voice was angry that time, sending a shiver down your spine. Truthfully, you were kind of pissed too. The sudden destruction of your false life had left you with a massive headache and a gaping hole in your heart which had been dedicated to maintaining it.  **_Hearts_ ** _ again, _ you told yourself. Now  _ that  _ was nice; two hearts both beating steadily in a four beat rhythm you’d been waiting ages to hear and feel again. 

The Headmaster chuckled somewhere not too far from you. “Well she was no use to me like  _ that _ and neither are you.” 

“How do you mean?” Jane growled. You cringed a little, not necessarily anticipating whatever villainous monologue the Headmaster was preparing to give. Yaz shifted on her feet and your senses perked up.  _ Yaz! _ Good old Yaz. You were definitely going to have to reward Yaz after all this was done. Graham was besides her, in an awkward position. Yaz met your gaze and raised a brow slowly as if to ask, _ it’s you right? Really you?  _

You nodded, and she reached into Graham's pocket to pull out a small device. The tracker! For such a shitty day and shitty situation, there was a lot of convenience to work with. She tossed it through the air and you rolled out of Jane’s arms to snatch it out of the air. You’d built the device yourself, so there was no confusion. Your thumb pressed the button on the side twice and a thick needle protruded from the middle. 

The Doctor wouldn’t approve of the method, and you knew you’d probably get scolded after she was back to normal, but something told you it was the most effective option. In the seconds leading up to the moment you jammed the needle into the Headmasters neck, you had to dodge several hands. Jane’s, which were trying to protect you, and the Headmasters, which were trying to throw you off of him. Both hands failed to complete their tasks and the device whined as it injected one of the small orbs into the not-so-human headmaster. 

" ** _Get off!!!_** " The 'man' bellowed, the tone and volume of his voice begining to rapidly increase and decrease in waves. 

“Holy shit” Ryan said against his gag. 

“ _ That’s _ how it works?” Yaz cried. The Headmaster doubled over, groaning. His hands flailed through the air, trying to grasp the tracker and rip it from his neck. As he did so, the skin began to ripple and his fingers deflated as the individual creatures maintaining his form fought to escape the tracker. 

You stumbled back and started to help Jane to her feet as the Headmaster lurched backward, back bent in a near 90 degree angle. His mouth stretched open, and a strangled cry was not the only thing that came forth from it. Hundreds of bees began to fly upward and disperse through the air in a flurry of black and yellow, aiming their bodies towards the makeshift underground door. It was then that the other bees, in their clusters and masses, began to sense the Headmaster’s urgency and escape and began to follow suit. There were too many to avoid, so you lowered yourself to the ground and covered Jane’s body with your own, trying to block out the deafening buzzing. 

Part of you knew that you should be trying to stop them from leaving the underground area; they would be heading up into the school where the children were. But it would be an impossible task, as there were far too many and you didn’t have anything to stop them with. Their temporary escape would be a small hindrance, but you could work past it. 

When enough bees had left to give you enough room to rise undistributed, you launched into action, scanning the wall. There were several students and the three companions. Without bee’s present to hold them in place, they removed their gags. “All of you need to go!” You yelled. “Make sure every door, window, vent, whatever, is closed, alright? Yaz, can you help get them back up?” 

“Won’t the Headmaster get away? The tracker was in the body and the body is-” Her voice trailed off. The Headmaster's body, which was no longer in use, was nothing but a pile of empty skin and loose clothing on the dirt floor. 

“It’ll be okay, just go!” 

Yaz nodded and casted a quick look at Jane, who was watching you with wide eyes, then grabbed the students hands and helped lead them out the door. Graham paused in his exit. 

“Are you sure you don’t need help with this?” 

The Doctor’s fob watch, hidden in Jane’s pocket, was starting to call out to you, knowing that it was time to be opened. You shook your head. “No, thank you. I think I’ve got to do this bit alone. Be careful up there.” 

Graham nodded and disappeared, leaving you and Jane all alone. Her hands linked with yours and pulled you closer to her. When you were forced to meet her gaze, your heart lurched. Her eyes were filled with more tears than before, flowing freely as her thoughts were less clouded by immediate danger. 

“Y/n…” 

“Jane-” You began.

“What the  _ fuck _ is going on?” 

It felt so strange to hear such a crass word come from the Doctors mouth, but it was no laughing matter. The Doctor would never swear. Jane Smith would, because they were not the same. Somehow, you had to convince her to give you the tool that would merge the two identities back together and re-establish normal. Judging by the look in her eye, it would be no easy task. 

“A lot,” You whispered gently. Realizing you were still on top of her (and ignoring the fact that you’d been in far too many of these close positions lately) you shifted so you were sitting by her side. In turn she sat up more, supporting her weight on shaky arms. “Really, truly, a lot has happened. And a lot still needs to happen for this all to be over. It’s not going to be easy, in any way, and I need you to listen to what I say and believe in me for a bit, alright?” 

“I always believe in you.” 

Another tug at your heart pulled you closer to your oldest friend and you wrapped your arms around her, sighing. One of the downsides of opening the fob watch was that even though an entire life and identity was erased, no memories were touched. They were still in your mind to be poked through and recalled.

Decades of travelling with the Doctor and dancing around one another had led you to believe that you would never be able to be with her like this. You would likely never be able to hold her the way your human counterpart could, nor could you kiss her lips and shower her with your unspoken words of affection. 

How could you go back? 

“It’s starting to hit me now, I think.” Jane murmured. Her voice still trembled, matching her hands, which gripped the back of your neck tightly. Desperately. 

“Yeah?” Your own tears were falling, dampening the fabric your cheeks rested upon. 

“Yeah. It’s like… Yaz was telling me all this stuff, and I couldn’t believe it, but then I saw it, and I saw you, and-” Her voice stopped and she clutched onto you tighter, letting out a shaky breath. “I’ve done it again.” 

“Done what again?” You tried to lean back so you could brush her hair out of her face.  _ You can’t do that anymore,  _ but Jane’s grip was too tight and didn’t allow for any adjustments. 

“I don’t know… well, yes I do, there was before. Before in the year 1913.” 1913? “Where did that come from? That’s not… Everything hurts, Y/n.”

“I know,” You whimpered. The fob watch was visible, slipping out of Jane’s pocket just enough to be grabbed if you were to make a move for it. “But there isn’t much time. I’m sorry.” 

Slowly, you leaned into her, hand twitching as your fingers extended, reaching for the watch. The room was quiet except for Jane’s sniffling, and your ears, advanced as they were, began to pick apart the atmosphere for more input. The beat of one heart, which had previously felt so special against your ear as you slept or embraced, was now obviously defective in what should’ve been the Doctor’s body. But it was loud nonetheless, and your hearts began to match it’s speed as your fingers just skimmed the top of the watch. Golden light poured out to dance across your fingertips, greeting you warmly. 

“Don’t,” Jane whispered. But just as the word left her lips the watch was pulled into your grip. Jane finally released her hold on you, falling back slightly in surprise. 

Your thumb was already resting against the button, but you stopped yourself before you could complete the action. “Jane-” 

“I don’t want to change,” She whimpered. “ _ Please” _

For the smallest fraction of a second, your thumb nearly obeyed her pleas, but all other components of your being knew that it would be wrong to do so. “Jane, I have to. There’s no other way.” 

“But how do you know that?” Despite her protest, her acceptance of the situation was slowly becoming more evident by the look in her eyes. 

“You know how I know that, Doctor. Look-” You carefully grabbed her hand, resting the back of your hand against her palm so she could help you hold the watch. The golden light filled Jane’s eyes, which widened. “You can hear it, can’ you?” 

Jane moved her head in what appeared to be an attempt at shaking her head, but she stopped herself short, not able to deny it. Using your other hand, you closed your intertwined fingers around the object, your thumb remaining against the button. 

“Together, okay?” 

“Can I just- one last thing? Please?” You nodded; You owed her that.

Jane leaned forward as far as she could in her awkward position, lips pressing against yours tightly. There was no hesitation to be found in the way you returned the kiss. It was mercifully long, the two of you melting together for what you imagined would be the last time. Unfortunately, however, Jane didn’t have the same respiratory bypass the Doctor had, and she could just barely whisper “Thank You” between gasps. 

With trembling fingers grasped so desperately by Janes, you pressed the button. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I am SO SO SO sorry this took so long <3 a lot of anxious things have happened, I just started going back to work, like... the vibes have been all over the place! So I didn't have a lot of moments I was looking forward to writing this Angst Pile and adding onto everything. Thank you for being patient, I hope that you're all happy and healthy and continue to be that way!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dance is... almost over. Slightly over. Beginning to end. Or is it?

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, the world was still and it was quiet. The light, which had previously exploded, was simmering softly and fading with every passing second, shrouding you and Jane in substantial darkness once more. No- not you and Jane. Jane Smith no longer existed, correcting the small blip in the fabric of reality. The Doctor was beneath you now, blinking slowly. 

With nothing else to look at and nothing in the universe mattering more to you, your eyes remain locked on to hers. The idea that she might’ve seen the same future you did crossed your mind. By the look in her eyes, she did. 

“Back to normal, then?” She murmured. As if the situation couldn’t crush you any more. Normal. After months pretending to be and living as someone else, left without your key to the universe and the infinite knowledge installed in a timelord's brains, normal should be a relief. Normal should be normal. But, after all this time, you weren’t sure what ‘Normal’ was anymore, or what it could be now. 

“Back to normal,” You agreed half-heartedly. The Doctors frown deepened.  _ Would it be appropriate to-? _ In the race between heart and mind, the heart won, and your hand rested gently against her cheek. Her skin was warm, still fizzing underneath from her de-transformation.

It grew warmer under your touch and both of your eyes flickered to the point of contact, considering its implications. You remembered now what you wanted and you knew that this time around you wouldn’t be taking any precautions. But, in that moment, in your tiny bubble of perfect quiet and close proximity, you weren’t sure if your fellow timelord was thinking the same. 

Before you could ask, she leapt off the dirt floor with an air of unbothered grace, nearly knocking you onto your back. “Now then! Killer bee’s- not fun. Getting all this back?” Her hands swirled around her head, the corners of her lips turning up ever so slightly. “Fun. C’mon, we’ve got some work to catch up on” 

During the few milliseconds in which you focused on brushing the dirt off of your nice clothing, you couldn’t help but notice that, unlike most adventures, her hand did not wait for yours. Trying desperately not to come to conclusions, you focused on other things while the two of you moved through the hall. Time was slower now that you were back in this body; every detail of every molecule was expanded upon, your senses penetrating your surroundings down to a microscopic level. 

You were about 8 feet underground, the only exit just a few feet ahead. There was no ladder or incline at your disposal, and this time you came to the conclusion that you or the Doctor would have to lift one another quite easily. 

“Um- You can go first” You offered, cracking your knuckles in preparation to carry her weight. She shook her head, rolling up the sleeves of her suit. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re first”

Deciding there wasn’t enough time to argue you nodded, stepping close to her. 

“Do you want to lift me or-“ 

“Might have to. Can you reach the top?” You glanced upward at the hole in the ground, the view of the ceiling temporarily disrupting your sense of depth. 8 feet. The light from the windows of the office, at least, offered a light source. 

You stretched your arms as far as you could and raised yourself on your tip-toes, but your fingers still failed to grasp the edge. Giving it one last chance, you leapt up as far as you could. Dirty showered on your face as your fingers just barely grazed the surface. The jump sent you off balance and you fell quite ungracefully back onto the Doctor. Luckily, she was prepared for such an event and prevented you from throwing the two of you down onto the floor. 

She moved forward to put you back on your feet and you avoided her gaze. 

“Definitely lifting you, then?” 

“Yeah… if that’s okay” You chuckled nervously, trying not to make it sound like a question. 

“Wh- oh. Of course it’s okay.” The Doctor stammered. Your back was still turned to her in an attempt to hide the fact that the awkwardness was controlling your facial expressions, but you could hear her shuffling. When she didn’t begin to initially lift you, you turned around, blush increasing. The Doctor was on one knee, blinking up at you. 

“Um. What should I do?” 

“You could step on my leg, and then pull yourself up if you think you could. Or…” She stared at the dirt. “You could sit on my shoulder and I could- well, I suppose, if you think it would be easier- I could lift you up that way and it would be less strain.” 

“Oh.” You thought for a moment. With your timelord strength returned, you could theoretically go with either option with success. The idea of stepping on the Doctor, however, seemed… wrong. Even if it was for survival purposes. Plus, her suit looked  _ amazing _ and..  _ Okay, not the time.  _

To overcome the tense hurdle preventing the mission from continuing further you made quick work of settling your weight on the Doctor’s shoulder as easy as you could. It wouldn’t have been an issue either way; time lords had far more strength than humans and she could handle far past your weight. In the end it boiled down to your own nervousness- which only increased when her arm settled around your thigh to keep you steady. A small squeak of surprise left you and the Doctor tensed, causing her grip to tighten. 

“You alright?” 

“Fine, yep!” You said in a choked whisper. She sighed and used her other arm to brace herself against the wall as she started to rise from the floor. It was a surprisingly smooth lift, and it didn’t even take a second for your head to poke up through the hole in the carpet. The room was relatively undisturbed. 

Stretching your arms to the edge of the hole you pushed yourself up with help from the Doctor, who used both hands to lift you off of her shoulder and push you up as far as she could. Landing safely on the office floor, you peered down to see just a sliver of the Doctor’s pink face looking up expectantly. 

“Here, you jump up, I’ll catch you.. And lift from there?” It was a shaky and quick plan, but you were sure it would go smoothly. The Doctor nodded and reached her hands upward. The tips of your fingers met just so. When she gave a jump, you were able to close yours halfway up her arm and  _ pull.  _

Her feet kicked against the dirt wall to aid you in hoisting her up past surface level. Although that particularly move didn’t help much, leaning back and bracing your feet against different objects such as the desk did. With the added stability the strain lessened- a little too much. With the Doctor now above ground, there was too much effort and pulling left over and she was sent tumbling on top of you, crushing you under her weight. 

Both of you yelped, surprised by the sudden collision. The Doctor planted a hand on either side of your face and pushed upward, lifting some- but not all- of her weight off of you. When your instinctive flinch subsided and your eyes opened, you realized she was still stuck in a pause, hovering above you. 

Her eyes weren’t wide but something akin to surprise rested in them, fixated on your face, which felt rather warm. So did the rest of you, given the time lord blanket that was practically covering your entire form.  _ Cuddling on the couch, one of her arms over you. Waking up in the morning with her as your pillow. Kissing. _ All the times you’d been close like this flashed through your head in a rather inconvenient montage, making all the blood that had traveled to your cheeks warm significantly. 

“Doctor-” You started. 

  
“We should go, yeah, for sure,” She stammered, clambering off of you (and accidentally putting all of her weight on your stomach for the briefest of moments,  _ ow _ ) Along with pain, disappointment also passed through you, but the situation at hand acted as a glue to prevent you from saying anything else on the matter. 

Pushing yourself off the ground you followed Jane out of the office and into the hallway, which was dark. A quick glance and the absence of a breeze moving through the air told you that most of the windows and doors were locked just as you’d instructed. There was no telling, however, how many bee’s might’ve escaped during the process. 

“Yaz?” You call. “Ryan?” 

“Over here!” Yaz yelled from another hallway. You and the Doctor followed the sound until you were face to face with her. “We managed to get everything closed; Ryan and Graham are trying to figure out if there’s a way that we can get the students out without letting them escape.” 

“Good,” The Doctor began. “I have an idea, we’ll just need to get to Jane’s classroom” 

“How do we know they won’t find some way to disappear again? Every time we’ve found them before, they’ve left” 

“Fortunately this time, we’ve got the tracker” You pointed out. 

“But the Headmaster did…” Yaz’s face briefly contorted in disgust. “Whatever he did. How would the tracker work?” 

“That’s just the thing,” You said with a grin, reaching into your pocket and twirling the device in between your fingers. “Those orbs? When they enter the bloodstream, they dissolve into a multitude of tiny parts and attach themselves wherever they can. Now- he wouldn’t exactly have a bloodstream, but i’m certain they would’ve attached themselves to some of those creatures he was made out of.” 

Yaz didn’t initially respond, just stared at the device with a sigh. 

“Yaz?” The Doctor prompted. 

  
“Just- glad this is almost over, is all” She admitted. Your heart surged at the way she relaxed her tense muscles, eyes flooded with relief. Out of all of the three friends you’d dragged into this mess; Yaz must’ve bore the worst of it. Quickly, you wrapped your arms around her in a reassuring hug. Barely a millisecond later, you could feel the Doctor’s arms join you. 

For a moment, the three of you sat there together, but you knew it couldn’t last too long.

“Brave heart, Yaz” The Doctor murmured. “You too, Y/N. Just a little bit more and this’ll be sorted. As long as we get to the classroom I can- oh, well, I suppose I shouldn’t say the plan out loud. But trust me.” 

“Like we don’t already” You laughed. Yaz smiled and the three of you took off in the direction of the Physics classroom. There were several occasions in which you could hear a loud commotion of buzzing, and had to stop to ensure your safety. Each time the bee’s seemed to be non hostile, clustering in different corners of the floor and ceiling. Interesting. 

Unfortunately, you did eventually run into a cluster of hostiles; namely, the Secretary and two of the janitors. They stood in a line formation across the width of the hallway, faces blank. 

“We can’t let you go any further” The secretary drawled. 

“Well I’m afraid we’ll have to protest that,” the Doctor said. “By the way, can I ask how you do that? With the voice? Fascinating, really-” 

“Let us through” Yaz demanded, most likely knowing the Doctor’s tangent would continue without interception. 

_ “No.”  _ The ‘woman’ added, although the intensity that carried her warped tone through the air did not extend to her eyes. 

“You really think so? Well… did you see what I did to the Headmaster?” You added in an attempt to be threatening. Surprisingly, the Doctor gave no indication of disapproval. “Scattered him. He’s probably amongst those of you scrambling for the doors to escape. Now, he could come back but something tells you neither of us want that” 

“How would you know what we want? You spend your time hunting us instead of help”

“We’ve only been hunting you because of the crimes you’ve been committing. Makes it a lot harder to want to help when there’s a trail of bodies everywhere you go” 

“We have only done what was necessary” 

“Necessary for what? What could prompt you to kill so many? What do you need the bodies for?” The Doctor asked. 

“We needed influence, power. Much easier to get it when you have these.” The secretary responded, holding up her hands and awkwardly shifting her fingers. 

“Why would you need all of that, though? From the looks of it, your hive is giant. You should already have it.” Yaz said, confused. 

“Most do not take our true form seriously. For many years we sought out a new home, fighting for one. Each time we’ve had to leave and try again” 

“What happened to your planet? Melissa Majoria, I assume?” The Doctor pried. You let your muscles relax, intrigue brushing away your caution. The secretary certainly didn’t seem to want to fight anymore, either- the Janitors, on the other hand, were still silently tense, as if waiting for the Secretary to finish the conversation and order them to strike.

“Our resources were pillaged. Our work was taken advantage of by those with less simply because they could. There was nothing left for us.” 

“But why not file for a designated migration with the Shadow Proclamation?” You offered. It would take some time, but there was a whole division of the immortal organization designated for taking on cases related to migration and placement of species throughout the vast reaches of space. 

“  _ We did” _ the Secretary hissed, her voice more unstable than before.” Only to be abandoned in  _ wastelands _ , forced to help terraform efforts without compensation- Each time they refused to accommodate us properly. Thankfully, a _ true _ leader came forward.” 

“The headmaster?” Yaz scoffed. “Some leader- asking you to kill. There’s always other ways” 

“Exactly. Gold star, Yaz. Maybe you do need influence or power, but you don’t need to kill to get it.” The Doctor pleaded. “I’m sorry that he convinced you that was the only way. No one should ever be driven to that decision. We can help you- _ really _ help. ” 

The Secretary shuddered for a moment and you took a step back instinctively, assuming the worst. But instead of lunging forward to attack, her limbs trembled, closing in on each other. The stolen skin rippled and, in some places, began to slowly tear. The Secretary slapped a hand to her mouth with a strangled cry. 

“What- what’s wrong with her?” Yaz cried, reaching for you and the Doctor’s hands in preparation to run. 

“I’m not quite sure” The Doctor admitted. 

“I think they’re _disagreeing_ ” You groaned, noticing that the Janitors were stepping closer. The Secretary fell to her knees, bee’s crawling out from a multitude of tears across the body they’d hollowed out and flying in different directions.    


“You might just be right- time to go!” the Doctor yelped, taking advantage of Yaz’s hands being connected to the two of yours and dragging you away. One of the Janitor's hands nearly came crashing down on your shoulder, but you dodged it in time and felt the Doctor pick up the pace so as to outrun them. They followed you all the way to Jane’s classroom, which she didn’t bother unlocking. Instead,the Doctor threw her weight against it, easily breaking the cheap lock the school had supplied. 

Yaz grabbed a desk and pushed it up against the door, gasping when a loud thud crashed through the air. “What are we in here for?” 

“I told you I didn’t want to say the plan in front of them,” The Doctor reminded her, throwing papers and materials off of her desk. “I  _ know _ it’s here somewhere.” 

“What are you looking for? I can help” You offered. The Doctor nodded and leaned in a little closer. 

“The Key,” She whispered. “I know I kept it here because they gave me- Jane, all sorts of keys and things and I couldn’t keep track so I shoved them all in my desk!” 

“That’s- aren’t teachers supposed to have those on person at all times?” You asked, remembering keeping them on a lanyard very vividly. 

“Were we?  _ Are w- they _ ?” The Doctor scowled and pushed the last thing off of the surface of her desk a little too roughly. “Never mind it. Doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll find it, thanks” 

You tried not to be too off put by her tone.  _ Must be the urgency _ , you told yourself, as you watched her begin to massacre the insides of the desk drawers. Yaz watched, sitting on top of the desk she’d pushed against the door to help add some weight against the Janitor’s attempts. 

Finally, she grabbed what appeared to be a cigar case out of the bottom right drawer.  _ Definitely not allowed in schools _ you thought with a frown. But as the case clicked open, you were greeted with the sight of a couple dozen moldy jelly babies, a few clattering to the floor below. The Doctor turned her nose up and plucked a few more out, tossing them over her shoulder. Then, she reached in and pulled a familiar key out of the case. 

“What’s that for?” Yaz asked. 

“It’s a TARDIS key,” You answered. “Remind me to give you one, by the way- you’ve more than earned it.” 

Yaz grinned under the continued praise and the Doctor offered a quick turn of her own lips, before running her thumb over the surface of the key. “Might take a moment, she’s been asleep for a long time. Probably grumpy.” 

Sure enough, it was about a solid minute of awkward silence and avoiding each other’s doubtful gazes before you could hear the  _ whorp whorp _ of the TARDIS. Your hearts surged as your home materialized before you. The blue box was, admittedly, a little out of place in a physics classroom- it often defied the subjects laws. But it was a welcome sight non the less, and the second it became tangible you ran forth to wrap your arms around it. Yaz laughed and the Doctor stepped behind you, pressing a hand against the windows. They glowed warmly, as if telling you both _ I forgive you. Maybe.  _

“Are you going to go in?” Yaz teased. You nodded, stepping back so you could throw the door open. The console room glowed with a mix of dark blue and an intense orange, flashing slowly in greeting. 

  
“Helloooooo sexy!” The Doctor called. “Sorry about the tardiness. You can yell at me later- and I know you will. For now, we’ve got friends to help.” 

Ryan and Graham! You rushed towards the console to help the Doctor fly you to the two missing companions. The two of you danced your usual dance around the console, pressing whatevr buttons and levers felt natural for you to use. As the dematerialization began, the Doctor reached over a little too far into the part of the Console you’d been tending to. The move resulted in you being knocked back ever so slightly; it still managed to rip you both out of your routine, blissfully ignoring the underlying issue. 

“Sorry,” The Doctor murmured, but she kept moving the levers and buttons in front of you, essentially taking over your responsibilities and piloting the machine on her own. The solo operation wasn’t the problem: it was the fact that she had not done said solo operation in decades, always letting you help in some way or another. 

More than mildly offended, you forfeited the rest of your control, letting her take over in full. Yaz shared a worried look with you, and you shook your head. You’d have to deal with it later. The second the time rotor stopped, the two of you ran towards the doors with the other time lord in tow. 

Yaz pushed them open and gasped. The room, which was once filled with awkward-but-happy teenagers swaying away to whatever popular tune was blasting through the speakers, was half empty. A handful of remaining students were pressing themselves against the wall and behind tables, shaking nervously. In the middle of the room, Graham had his hands raised and forward, both in surrender and in an attempt to stop the Headmaster who had apparently taken the opporunity to reform. Most worrying, he was holding Ryan against him in a chokehold. 

The two of you stumbled out of the space-time box as a few bee’s, which you assumed must’ve been clustered around the floor, began to fly into the machine. You sputtered as a few flew into your face, blurring your vision and making you flinch. Over the buzzing, you could hear footsteps and Graham yelling something. A hand shoved against your chest and you felt yourself land back on the TARDIS floor. 

“No you don’t!” The Doctor yelled, but in truth, she had no way to stop the Headmaster from forcing his way into the TARDIS. As more and more of the bee’s began to fill the room and spread out it became easier for you to move and see. The ‘man’ stepped past you, practically carrying Ryan along with him. 

“Run!” Graham yelled to the remaining students, before following the Headmaster into the TARDIS and tugging roughly at his arms. Realizing most of the Bee’s had joined the party, you pulled the TARDIS doors shut to keep them that way. The Headmaster, irritated, shrugged Graham off his shoulders roughly and the man stumbled back, falling to the floor against the doors.  _ Oh well, at least it wasn’t the floor, _ you thought as you helped him up. 

The Doctor and Yaz were pressed against the console, eyes wide as the Headmaster stepped ever closer, keeping a vice grip on your mutual friend. 

“Now then. I’ve heard from my lovely Secretary that you’re going help us” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crow, you guys, I never imagined it would take me /this/ long to update. I am so, so sorry, a million times over. The vibes have been all over the place and so has my inspiration and everything has just been like... WACK. I had a bad funk writing this chapter, but it started to realy come together; it was really interesting to write, as I had to switch up the dynamic a lot! and like, feelings or whatever. I totally didn't intend to leave you guys for so so long ahhh!!! In good news: as of this last friday, I'm officially done with high school. FOREVR. which is way too surreal to talk about in detail so. Just in general I have a bit more writing time. 
> 
> Love you guys so, so much. Like a million times over. For realzies.


	20. The End Part One

There was no true quiet throughout the entire machine, although no one spoke for several moments. The buzzing and fluttering of small wings was infinitely deafening as the thousands of insects found new places aloud the columns, the ceilings, and the individuals present. Knowing there was more success to be found in an attempt at peace, you resisted the urge to brush them off of your arms and shoulders. 

“We’re not helping you!” Graham protested. 

“Yeah, definitely not,” Ryan reinforced. 

“I did promise help in some form” You admitted. The two men gave you an incredulous look and you shrugged. Why wouldn’t you? 

“In some form,” The Doctor repeated. “But we get to decide what that is.” 

  
“No, I don’t think you do” The Headmaster drawled. He gestured to the bee’s surrounding the 5 of you with a sinister smile. “It seems that you’ve found yourself outnumbered. I believe I’ll be making the decisions here.” 

“And what about them? They don’t get to decide?” You asked. 

The Headmaster scoffed. “They’re mindless workers. If I hadn’t been making the decisions all this time they wouldn’ _ t be her _ e to support them. I’m the one who got them here today. I’m the reason they’re going to live better lives.” 

“Are they though?” The Doctor asked, shoving her hands in her pockets and leaning forward condescendingly. “Because… if I remember correctly, and I rarely forget anything, you’ve had to run from every. Single. Place you’ve landed. That’s not a better life.” 

“Do you not run, Doctor?” 

“This TARDIS is our home” You bit back in her defense. “Whereas you don’t  _ have one _ ” 

The Doctor shot you a quick appreciative glance before continuing- not to the headmaster, but with her gaze to the walls and ceiling, addressing the other creatures. “Tell you what. We will help you get where you need to go. But not because  _ he _ has kidnapped, and hurt, and killed, but because we want to. Because what happened to you was wrong and we can help fix that- the  _ right _ way.” 

The buzzing increased in volume and urgency, each voice indistinguishable from the thousands of others. The TARDIS, rather picky in her old age, refused to translate either of them and you couldn’t understand what they were saying. More bee’s, however, seemed to be leaving the walls and ceilings behind to cling to your form; the other companions, as well, soon found themselves slowly covered. 

“Y/N-” Yaz began nervously. 

“Don’t do anything” You instructed. “They won’t hurt you” 

Truthfully, you weren’t sure if that statement was correct. But none of the bee’s seemed to be hostile yet. 

“Won’t they?” The Headmaster asked. However, his own voice betrayed him, seeing more disconnected than in the moments previous. The Doctor certainly noticed this, cupping a great amount of the bee’s covering her into her hands, and speaking directly to them. 

“How long did he keep you under that school, eh? How long did you wait for him to fullfill his promise? “ 

  
“Do NOT listen to her,” The Headmaster boomed. 

“Why wouldn’t they?” You asked. “Surely they deserve to know the options they have.” 

  
“There are no other options!” He protested with a cough. Two or three bee’s made their way past his lips and disappeared into the crowds. Your efforts to hide a smirk failed; Even parts of the Headmasters cluster were beginning to question his authority. 

“Look at you!” Yaz gasped. “You’re breaking apart again!” 

“I am-” he coughed again, doubling over on himself. “I am not!” 

More bee’s began to cling to you and you looked to the Doctor. She was covered in her own fair share of creatures, but they didn’t seem to bother her. She was winning them over, you could tell. “Look at him! Look at your leader!” She yelled. 

More and more bees were trying to force their way out of his mouth and he covered it with his hand. Once they left, they hid amongst the others just like their predecessors, and became indistinguishable. 

“He’s just like you, don’t you see that?” The Doctor continued, the words falling from her mouth without hesitation. “He may have told you he was better or more powerful than you but there is  _ nothing _ making him that way. Nothing forcing you to do what he asks.” 

“Without me they would be nothing!” The Headmaster cried. 

  
“Would they now? Would you?” The Doctor asked, not sparing the Headmaster a glance. The buzzing increased once again, nearly drowning out the Headmasters groans and struggles. Although the TARDIS couldn’t translate, you could feel their anger. 

“Do you hear him?” You joined. “He thinks you’re nothing. But you’re not. You are so much more than his empty promises. So much more than the violence he’s convinced you you need to carry out. So much more than his  _ failures. “ _

In a split second and a last ditch attempt at gaining control of the moment, the Headmaster lunged towards you. You didn’t have time to move. Luckily though, a thousand miniscule weights pressed against the points in which they were resting upon and sent you stumbling back  _ just  _ enough. The Headmaster's legs, no longer supported by the same amount of creatures, gave out underneath him and he plummeted to the floor at your feet with a strangled cry. 

“Y/n!” The Doctor called. Ryan rushed forward and wrapped his arms around the Headmaster, clamping his own hand over the creature's mouth. Several of the bee’s covering his arm fled, attaching themselves to you instead. Some of them stayed and began to swarm around the headmaster’s face. 

You moved forward in an attempt to help Ryan keep him still. While the combined weight of all the insects could not put a stop to your movements entirely, they were clearly trying their best to do so. The Doctor began whirling around the console, putting the space-time machine into motion once more. The bee’s, off put by her erratic movement, flew away quickly and found safety with Graham and Yaz instead, who strained against the instinct to escape from them. 

You leaned against one of the columns, trying not to show fear towards the Headmaster. It wasn’t hard- before Ryan had covered his mouth, it was clear that many of the bee’s maintaining his system had abandoned him. He trembled and fought against Ryan’s hold, but it was in vain. His limbs were flimsy, and even though it was muffled against Ryan’s hand, you could tell that his voice was less strong than before. 

The TARDIS came to a stand still and the Doctor stood at the doors, hand raised in preparation to pull them open. “ Here we are. The planet Isroth in the year 14X-7. Half the planet is made up of lush wildlife, with no major predators set to arrive for decades.” 

In contrast to the dark atmosphere of the TARDIS, the view past the doors was painfully bright. Bright green grass, accompanied by flowers of all colors, stretched for miles and miles.

The Doctor threw the doors open and a few bees cautiously flew towards the entrance. When they passed the threshold with no present danger, a few more followed, and then dozens more, dispersing through the landscape. After a considerable amount left for their new home, the Doctor pulled the doors shut once more. Some of the bee’s, who had been ready to follow their friends, angrily buzzed around the Doctor’s hands. 

“Can’t overload the ecosystem. Trust me, there’s more homes for you.” She sprinted back to the console, repeating her usual marathon of button pushing and questionable steering. 

“Everyone alright?” You asked as the TARDIS took off. They nodded a little shakily. 

“This is crazy,” Ryan groaned. “What about the bee’s that left the headmaster? Won’t they cause trouble?” 

“I think they left him for a reason,” You reassured him. “It’ll be okay” 

Ryan nodded and the Doctor once again threw the doors open, letting another set of the bee’s go. Once again, she only let a few out before travelling to the next location. The operation repeated several times until there was only a small group of bees remaining: the ones that had attached themselves to the four of you. 

“Alright you lot,” The Doctor said, a little out of breath from running around. “Last destination. The planet Earth. Not exactly 2020, but that’s a good thing. You wanted Earth as your home? You’ve got it. Might take a bit to adjust, but trust me when I say I think it’s the place for you.” 

  
The companion's eyes widened as they connected unspoken dots in their heads, and you smiled. As a traveller in time, you were well aware of the bee's alien origins. But for them, it was new information. You didn’t linger on their faces for long though. Instead, you looked to the Doctor, who grinned from ear to ear as the remaining bee’s left the surface of your skin, slowly making their way to the new life they’d been seeking out for far too long. 

A few of them flew in circles around your head before darting out the doors, and then they were gone. The only ones remaining were held behind Ryan’s hand, still stuck inside the body that they’d stolen. The Doctor turned away from the bright atmosphere of Earth and her expression turned dark as her eyes landed on the Headmaster. 

“As for you…” She frowned, hands clenching. Her eyes swam with unknown conflict, falling to the floor. “There are quite a few punishments I can imagine.” 

You felt your stomach churn ever so slightly. The Doctor was kind, and loving, and bright. But, when the situation called for it, she was very much capable of unspeakable things. He’d stolen a life from her. There was no telling what she would do. 

“But,” She began. She sighed mid sentence and slowly crossed the room to the console. Ryan, Graham, Yaz and you watched with curious (and, honestly, slightly fearful) gazes. Her hand fell against a lever, resting there. “I’m better than who I was before. So I’ll choose the right one” 

The companions looked to you for answers that you do not have. You stretched your limbs as the machine headed off to the Headmasters final destination. The Doctor was still moving around the console, but with considerably less excitement. You joined her at her side and set your hand on top of hers, pausing her movements. Her hand buzzed and her blood was boiling underneath your skin. She was angry. She looked at you out of the corner of her eye, trying to pull her hand out from under yours. 

“Where?” you whispered. 

“The Shadow Proclamation” She whispered back. You nodded and took over the controls, hoping that she would take the opportunity to relax. The TARDIS was half way there and it only took a minute for it to arrive. You were a little unsure if the Shadow Proclamation was the best place to go to; they had been the ones to originally fail the bee’s, after all. But you figured the Doctor wasn’t looking for someone who could help the Headmaster. 

When you landed, you looked to Graham and Yaz to help Ryan pull the headmaster to his feet and keep him upright as you walked him through the doors. The Doctor stayed at her place at the console, silent. The Proclamations elegant building was nearly empty, save for a dozen or so Judoon warriors standing guard at several entrances. 

You strolled out of the TARDIS with Ryan and the Headmaster in tow, Yaz and Graham joining you out of curiosity. The Doctor rarely directly interacted with the Shadow Proclamation, only citing their laws and orders for extra intimidation. Your experience with them was equally limited. Nerves slowed your tongue, but you managed to say: 

“I wish to speak with the Shadow architect!” The Judoon gave each other brief glances, before one walked in front of you. They raised a device and scanned it over your body, huffing, before walking away. 

“What was that all about?” Ryan asked. The Headmaster was starting to writhe in his arms, realizing the fate that awaited him. Yaz helped keep a steady hold on him. 

“Just checking our identity. The Architect’s a busy woman, they want to make sure I’m worth her time.” Luckily, they did in fact deem you worthy; a minute later the woman came strolling down the wide corridor, surrounded by even more Judoon. 

“Y/N. I don’t believe we’ve properly met before.” 

“I’m afraid we’ll have to save the proper introduction for later. I’ve got a prisoner here.” 

“And just what are they responsible for?” The Architect asked, giving the Headmaster a once over, nose upturned. 

“Roughly 20 murders, likely more. Kidnapping, attempt at high level interference of a level 5 planet… I’m sure you could find more than that.” 

“I see. We’ll have a proper trial, of course, and you may be called to give evidence.” 

“I understand,” You responded. You would do anything to make sure someone like him was behind bars. Two of the Judoon warriors stepped in front of Ryan and Yaz and began to pull the Headmaster from their arms. Before you could warn them about covering his mouth, Ryan’s hand fell from it with no replacement and bee’s began to rapidly escape. 

The Architect gasped and took a step back, the Judoon guards stepping back with her and covering her entirely. The Judoon that had grabbed him dropped the empty skin and grabbed tools from their belts. In each of their hands was a long staff. With the press of a button, you couldn’t move. It seemed as though no one else could, either, including the bee’s. 

You watched the two Judoon pluck each and every bee out of the air, one of them briefly disappearing to grab a clear box. Once every bee was re-captured, they were placed inside, unable to fly away. When the lid was closed tightly, the Judoon pressed the button on the staff again and you stumbled slightly, limbs surprised at the sudden freedom. The bee’s began to swarm around inside of their new prison, trying to push up against the lid. However, it was no use. 

Despite everything the Headmaster had done, it was hard to see anyone in such a position. Scared, trapped. It reminded you of what you needed to say. 

“By the way,” You began. “They committed those crimes for a reason. While I don’t agree with the method- you might want to make sure you take care of migrating species better. Don’t worry, we’ve handled this one. But none of this would’ve happened if your organization hadn’t been so careless.” 

The Architect tensed, ignoring the way that her guards glanced at her. “I will… take that into consideration of course.” She gave a small laugh, but it was just as forced as her smile. “There are always more important matters at hand-” 

“There’s always time” 

“-Such as cold cases. How is the Doctor, Y/N” 

It was your turn to freeze. Ryan and the others looked to you, confused, but you were just as confused as them. “Good, why?” 

“The Judoon have grown quite restless recently. As the Proclamation has worked to clean out our archives and begin anew, old unsolved cases have resurfaced. One in particular involving the Doctor. Is she in there?” the Architect asked, gesturing towards the TARDIS. Suspicion tugged at you, as did worry. What could they possibly want with the Doctor? She was always getting herself into trouble, but rarely in ways that required Proclamation interference. 

“Yes, she is. Why?” 

“We would love to speak with her and clear some things up.” The words were not inherently daunting, but her tone was. It carried a deep hatred through the air, sending chills up your spine. You shared a look with Yaz. The Proclamation had helped you arrest the Headmaster; that was all you came there for, all you needed.  _ It’s time to go _ , you tried to tell the companions with just a gaze. 

“Sure!” You said cheerfully. “I’ll go get her now!” 

You pushed the companions along with you towards the blue box, maintaining a tight grin. “I hope you don’t mind if they go back inside. They’re only human, I’m afraid that the complexity of intergalactic affairs just…” You moved your hand in an arch above your head and the Architect nodded, eyes narrowed. 

_ “I totally didn’t mean any of that, you guys are amazing and I love you and we are so going to run away right now” _ You whispered. Ryan laughed and you shoved them inside, following suit. You pulled the doors shut and tried to drown out the Architects yelling. The Doctor was still hunched over the console, watching a video of what was going on outside. 

“Alright, honey, we really have to go.” You scolded yourself for the slip, but there was no time. Avoiding her gaze (and the shared look between your companions) You began to pilot the console away from the Proclamation before they could put a lock on the TARDIS and stop you from leaving. The Doctor, much to your surprise, stepped back from the console entirely. 

“Back to Shoreditch, I think. Just briefly. I think we’ve all got a few things to grab and clear up” Ryan, Yaz and Graham nodded in agreement and you set course for your- now old- home. 


	21. The End Part Two

Not bothering to fix your late arrival, as you had landed only 5 hours after the scheduled dance, you dropped each companion off at their corresponding Shoreditch flats. Then it was your turn. You tried not to say much to the Doctor as you stepped out of the machine and into your false self’s flats. 

The lights were all off, the door locked when you tried to enter. Right. The keys to your flat were in your purse, which was at the school still. The Doctor had used the TARDIS to get to Jane Smith’s flat, though you had no idea why. There was barely anything there to grab. You had to walk to Coal Hill, or at least get to a point where you could get a Taxi. 

Eventually you made your way back to the school, wincing when you saw a couple of police cars stationed outside of it. There was no alternative entrance; you’d ruined those chances by ordering all the doors and windows to be locked. You also had nothing else in your pockets. No keys, screwdriver, psychic paper. Nothing. 

“Hi!” You said cheerfully. The police officers looked you over and stepped forward defensively, eyes narrowed. “I’m a teacher here, I was helping students get out during all of the… ruckus, and well, I don’t have my flat key or anything, and my purse is in the school, could I grab it?” 

One of the police officers sighed. “Do you have family you can stay with?” 

“Not exactly, no.” 

“This is a crime scene, ma’am. I’m sorry but inconvenience or not there's a lot that has to be investigated here. “

“In fact,” Another police officer spoke up. “If you were there, you should’ve been given a time for an interview. Have you been questioned yet?” 

Oh, great, questioning. The last thing you needed when dealing with intergalactic forces somehow still mysteriously unknown to the human race. 

“That won’t be necessary” A familiar voice countered from behind you. The Doctor stepped past you, dressed in her signature blue coat and striped shirt. From the infinite depths of her pockets she produced her own psychic paper, flashing it in the police officers face quickly. 

“Sorry for the lack of uniform, they called me in for some extra help and I didn’t have time to stop by the station. I’m escorting her.” 

The officers shared a look but, deciding they couldn’t be bothered, stepped to the side so the Doctor could stroll past and you could follow. Once again, the two of you shared only silence. Every part of you fought to break through it. 

“Thanks,” You murmured, trying to find more words to throw at the seemingly impregnable wall. “Back from your flat?” 

“Jane’s flat.” she said sternly as the two of you made your way through the halls, which were eerily silent, all lights turned off in the absence of any students and staff. “Nothing there. Didn’t bother.” 

Before you could comment or even process what she’d said, she turned a sharp corner, heading down the Hallway to the science wing. You stuttered a little bit in your step out of surprise. You had no reason to follow her; it would just hold everything up since it would prevent you from gathering your things quickly. Yet the urge was strong, nearly pulling your feet out from underneath you. 

Logic won and you let her walk away, ignoring the dull ache in both of your hearts. Your purse was easy to find, but you also wanted to go through your classroom and gather a few things. It felt oddly unfamiliar to enter, like you were trespassing on someone else’s property. Technically you were. You didn’t take much; most of the resources and things you hoped the school would repurpose when they hired a newer, realer teacher. 

After grabbing some notes from students and Jane, plus a few of the fidget toys Ryan kept at his desk, you shut the door for good.  _ It’s not yours _ , you reminded yourself. _ Let it go.  _ Besides- there were a couple other things you needed to grab that were far more important. 

Knowing the environment that awaited you once more, you grabbed a ladder from the janitors closet. The office, the school, and the world were safe from the presence of the headmaster, and the office was completely empty when you arrived with no possible threat of another arrival. It didn’t make it less unnerving, however, and you made quick work of climbing down into the underground cavern you’d been previously trapped in. 

The fob watches still lay dormant on the floor, spent and lifeless. No light came from them anymore, as the light rested within you. Carefully, you set them in your palm, tracing the circular gallifreyan with a frown. They were beautiful watches, and you could no doubt use them later if need be, but the sight of them only reminded you further of what you’d lost by opening them. 

You pocketed them quickly and left the office, letting your hand rest against them to try and get over your harsh feelings. The Doctor was waiting by the entrance of the school, eyebrows raised. 

“You didn’t grab much.” 

“Neither did you” 

“Yeah.” She turned on her heels and started walking back to the TARDIS, which was parked off in the distance. You followed her, falling into silence once more. The other companions were inside, having already gathered what little they had grown attached too during their time in Shoreditch. 

The Doctor took you to your flat in silence and when you approached the door, Ryan offered to join you to help carry anything extra. 

“Yeah, that’d be great, thanks” You said, unlocking the door. Ryan nodded and you pushed it open, sighing. It still felt like home. 

“You alright?” 

“Yeah,” You reassured Ryan with a fake smile. “Just sad i’ll have to leave it. It was kind of a steal” 

Ryan didn’t laugh at the small quip, shutting the door. “They’re in the TARDIS, y/n. She can’t hear you, you can talk about it.” 

Your fingers paused where they lingered over the custard creams that you’d been moving to grab on the Doctor’s behalf. 

“I’m not sure how to” 

“Just… ramble if you want. But I can tell it’s bothering you.” 

You nodded and began to move through the flat in search of more to grab. The living room was hard. The second your eyes fell on the couch, you remembered the night Jane had stayed over. For a moment, you could still feel the warmth of her arm around your waist, holding you close to her. 

“We cuddled. “ You whimpered softly. Your hands shook slightly as you ran it across one of the throw pillows. You gripped the plush object in an attempt to stop them, and Ryan set a hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s alright. You guys can still do that. It just might be awkward at first.”    
  


“Can we?” You asked, meeting his eyes with your teary ones. “We’re not even the same people. I already lost myself. What if I lost her, too?” 

“You say your different people but- you referred to  _ Y/N  _ and  _ Jane  _ as you and her. I don’t think you really believe that, Y/n.” 

“I just… I don’t know Ryan. The way she’s been, it’s so hard to tell. And my brains all confused and… I just don’t know” You admitted pathetically, walking past him into the hallway. Your bedroom was next. You tried not to even look at the bed, refusing to acknowledge the memories of all the nights you’d spent together that pushed at your heart. Instead you threw the closet and committed any cute clothes to memory so the TARDIS could replicate them for you. 

“I know what I’m not confused about” Ryan interrupted. “You and her… you’ve always had something there.” 

You scoffed and dropped the long flannel you’d been examining. “Yeah. Awkward silences whenever we’re not running around saving every single corner of the universe. Lot there, Ryan” 

Finished with your task you turned around, jumping slightly and hitting the fabrics. Ryan was holding his phone directly in front of your face, and your eyes focused on the list shown on the screen. The title red “Suspicious Doctor/Y/n activity” 

“What-” 

“Just read it” He pleaded. You accepted the device from him, eyes scanning the words and using your finger to scroll through-  _ oh, wow, that’s.. A lot.  _

  1. **The time the Doctor said she wouldn’t mind being married to Y/N at the festival**
  2. **The time the Doctor and y/n fought over the tea like a married couple**
  3. **The time the Doctor got super jealous about y/n dancing with that alien lady**
  4. **That time Y/n wore that weird long scarf and the Doctor got really flustered**



Your eyes, initially wide from the realization that such a list would exist, softened as you read nearly 400 entries. You knew of your own slips and attempts at making your relationship a little more than it was but- most of the entries on the list were things the Doctor was responsible for. 

“The two of you have always had something, I meant that when I said it. Just look at the evidence! I know how you two feel about each other. And Jane and y/n? That was you, too. “ 

“But..” 

“There’s no but, y/n. It’s real. In any… body or life, or universe, or however all of this worked. It’s real. You two are real and your love is very, very much real. And far too obvious” 

You laughed a little, half at his insistent tone and half out of relief. There was definite truth in what he said. 

“Promise me, once this is all over and the two of you get a moment alone, you’ll talk to her.” 

You sighed. It was so tempting to not acknowledge what had happened and go back to the way you were before; Safe, but teetering on the edge of danger just enough to get close to her without too many complications or consequences. But you doubted you ever could. You would always have your memories of being human, and the Doctor would always have her memories of being Jane as well. Things like that couldn’t be left alone forever. 

  
“I promise” You whispered. Ryan hugged you tightly, murmuring something about being proud of you. You warmed underneath the praise, hugging him back with just as much vigor. Once the embrace ended, you led him back out of the flat to the TARDIS. You didn’t need anything from your false past. Your future was waiting for you at the console. 

You closed the doors of the blue box, shutting out shoreditch forever. “Everyone ready?” You asked. 

Everyone nodded and the Doctor started piloting the machine. 

She stopped at Yaz’s flat first, and you guessed that she was the one in more of a hurry to leave her fake life behind. She nearly ran to the doors, only carrying a small pack of the little belongings she cared about. You stopped her before she could leave, setting a hand on her shoulder carefully. She turned to face you, confused. You smiled, knowing the gift the Doctor was about to give her. 

“Yaz,” You began. “What we put you through… I’m sorry. You should’ve never been separated from your family for this long. Ever. And you did so excellently despite it all, taking charge. You’re brilliant, Yaz, truly.”

You wrapped your arms around her in a hug, hearing the Doctor step closer to the pair of you. She hugged back tightly, a few tears dropping onto your shirt. 

“You didn’t leave Shoreditch, right?” The Doctor asked. Yaz shook her head against your shoulder and the Doctor smiled.    
  
“Good. Might be breaking a couple rules but… when you walk out those doors, it should be, oh, I don’t know, five minutes since you left to go on your last trip with us? Give or take an hour. Or two. Maybe three, tops. 

Yaz gasped and stepped back, eyes wide. “w-What?” 

“Like I said, breaking a few rules” The Doctor said with her signature scronch. “Don’t go to Shoreditch for a while. And don’t let your family go. Or your friends. Not that they’d want to, I don’t think. But stil-” 

Yaz leapt forward and took her turn hugging the Doctor tightly, and you and the rest of the TARDIS team laughed slightly at her reaction. 

“That’s lovely” Graham said, joining the hug. You and Ryan followed and you all sat there for a long moment, comforted by each other's arms. Yaz stepped back again, wiping away the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks. She waved and opened the doors to the TARDIS to Sheffield. 

“By the way,” She said, before she stepped outside. “I wasn’t separated from all of my family. I love you all” 

And then she was gone, sprinting down the sidewalk towards her family's flat. 

“Suppose it’s time we get off too, Doc.” Graham said. Ryan nodded. The Doctor smiled again and shook Graham’s outstretched hand, waving goodbye to Ryan.

“Thank you both, infinitely” Ryan glanced at you, gave a small wink, and followed his grandfather out the doors. 

And then, as you had so many times before, you and the Doctor sat in the blue box, alone together. 


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

“Did you see their faces when you landed on Earth?” You laughed, trying to break the awkward silence that had once again begun to accumulate between the two of you. “Don’t think we ever told them that bees are aliens.” 

“Yeah. I’ve got to stop interfering like that.” The Doctor murmured. Then she turned around sharply, coat swishing with the movement. You sighed, letting your eyes fall shut. It was going to take a lot more to initiate the conversation you knew needed to be had. 

You turned around to face her, but her back was to you. She was hunched over the console, fingers grasping the edge with white knuckles. 

“Doctor-” 

“I’m sorry.” She murmured. 

“What?” 

She sighed. “What happened between us… I’m sorry about it.” She turned her head, every so slightly, so you could just barely see the beginnings of her glassy eyes. 

“It was.. Wrong, inappropriate and if I ever made you uncomfortable or if I ruined what we have now-” 

  
“Doctor, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“It wasn’t you. It was, I thought it was, and we did all that, but we shouldn’t have.” 

You crossed the room to stand at her side, setting your hand on her arm to comfort her. She tugged it out from underneath your touch, stepping a few feet away. The refusal made your mouth fall open, suprised at her blatant behaviour.

“Doctor, it was me. A-and Jane, that was you, that was  _ us _ . We..” _ Fell in love, _ you wanted to add, even though you had been in love for far too long before the fact. 

“But it wasn’t. We were human. We weren't timelords, travelling around the universe, doing what we do. Our biggest worries were gossip and grading and now we’re back to, what? Danger and excitement and we can’t-” 

  
“Be together?” You asked, biting your cheek to stop your chin from wobbling. She couldn't be doing this. Not after all that had happened with the list and coal hill. Not with everything that had been admitted and said and _felt._

“I don’t know if that’s what I’m trying to say.” She huffed, shoulders collapsing. “When we were human, I acted on things I shouldn’t have. At the wrong place, the wrong time, with the wrong you. We work so well together the way we were before. And now I’ve ruined that, haven’t I?” 

“How?”

“How?” the Doctor asked with a scoff. “Well for starters, it’ll make friendship quite awkward. Secondly, I'm already feeling different than Jane about certain things and I have no idea if you feel different than y/n about.. Me, and that  _ scares _ me frankly, but not as much as the fact that if you don’t then..” She paused. 

“Doctor?” 

“The people we love in this life, y/n. They get hurt. They die or they wither or they leave and if you become that person that I love…”

“Aren’t I already?” You whispered hopefully. 

_“Yes,”_ The Doctor whispered with a shaky breath. You gasped, letting a tear fall from the corner of your eye. It was true. The Doctor loved you. 

“I don’t want you to be hurt, Y/n. And i’m scared I’ve already done that” 

You frowned. Did she seriously so strongly believe that she’d hurt you by initiating her relationship with you as Jane? Did she so strongly regret everything that had happened between the two of you? 

“Doctor.” You began, clearing your throat to offset the stone that was lodged within it. “I don’t regret a single thing that happened between us. “ 

She glanced over her shoulder once more, her hair protecting most of her face from your view. You knew she was doing it to protect herself, but it aggravated you. The things you were saying needed to be said face to face, without the interference of fear or insecurity. 

“And I know that we can’t go back to how we were before. I won’t pretend like it wasn’t safer that way. But I also won’t pretend like I was really happy that way either.” She turned her face away and cast it towards the floor and you groaned. “I was happy with you. And you can try and say that that was Jane but I know it was  _ you, _ Doctor. I was happy with you because I  _ love _ you and better turn the hell around so I can say that to your face.” 

Your breath shuddered with the intensity it’d applied to your words and the Doctor slowly turned to face you, eyes wide. There was a chasm between the two of you, slowly closing. A hundred years of unspoken words and feelings spewing forth from the pressure of the two forces merging. There was only one thing left to say to close it completely. 

“I love you,” You whispered. “In any body, or life, or universe or time. Whatever stops us or hurts us- what I feel for you transcends all of that. And I will not sit here and listen to you for one more moment without you knowing that.” 

The Doctor gasped, stepping back. You stepped forward.    


“I love you,” You repeated. 

“I... “ You stepped forward to brush the Doctor’s lone tear away, then stepped on your tiptoes to press a kiss to the place where it had reached on her cheek. 

“You don’t have to say anything yet. I just wanted you to know.”    


The Doctor reached for your hands, holding them tightly. You grinned, holding them back just as tight. 

“You might have to pinch me,” She said softly. “This is real, right?” 

“Maybe,” You laughed. She began to step back, towards the doors of the TARDIS, which sprung to life and began to fly all on its own. “Perhaps if it is not, we can both keep a hold of it nonetheless.” 

The two of your reached the doors and she let go of your hands, leaning hers against the doors to push them open. You had not seen the stars properly in months, and they were just as beautiful as they were the last time your eyes had taken in their depths. 

You reached into your pockets, remembering the tokens of your false lives that you’d taken for safekeeping.    
  
“Jane and y/n wanted to explore the stars” You murmured, holding the two fob watches up to the light. The Doctor took hers in hand, smiling softly. 

“I think we can make that a reality.” 

“Just another one to hold onto” You said, gazing into her eyes. They softened and the two of you moved forward together, joining your lips. The gesture was only an extension of your love, which was now spoken truth. As your hands found comfort on each other, the two watches fell from your fingers. 

They floated out into the endless sea of the universe, joining the rest of the stars. Although your eyes were closed, you could feel them glow brighter around you, drowning you and the Doctor in their ethereal light. 


	23. A Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

Before January of 2020, I hadn’t written fanfiction in 3 whole years. Yes, 3 whole years. But, with the premier of Doctor Who season 12, I figured my love for 13 was strong enough to give it another go. I got the idea for transcendence I believe mid January, and I almost immediately got to work. I’m surprised at how much I managed to do for this story, and I'm so happy I stuck with it and told it. There were times where I struggled with the plot (and in the beginning, I had no plot at all, so that was fun) but I pushed through and  _ god, _ am I proud.

I cannot stress enough how much every reader, comment, and kudos means to me. I’m not very good at expressing gratitude properly because all the love involved in the words chokes me up a bit, so I hope I'm conveying to you through this rambling note how much I love you!!! There’s been multiple moments in this story where I’ve felt like it wasn’t good enough or it wouldn’t end as well as I’d hoped but no matter what, you guys were always there giving me wonderful comments and encouragement and they’re the main reason why I was able to power through and finish my first multi-chapter fanfiction EVER. 

I also want to give a massive shoutout to the thirsting for 13 group chat, who have been by my side, helping me out, and reading all my impatient snippets for months now. I love you guys so, so, SO much and I’m forever through-the-moon that I joined the gc and have you guys to talk to. You guys are like my family and I will be infinitely grateful for your presence. 

Again, thank you all. Thank you to Jodie Whittaker for being hot, thank you to Doctor Who for being my fav tv show of all time, thanks to human nature / family of blood for giving me this au opporutnity even if you were hetero bulshit i still managed to make it a gay love story so shoutout to you. Thank you a million times over. 

Love, WhittakerJodie. 


End file.
